DD help and encouragement

[treemom2]

Let me first say that my DD is a social, talkative, loving, spirited, healthy little girl. I have read Raising your Spirited Child which described her almost perfectly. I have also read Liberated Parents, Liberated Children and Between Parent and Child (by Ginott--dated, but pretty good for some ideas). Here's the problem, DD hits me, screams at me, tells DH he is a bad dad, etc. . .DD also is testing boundaries pretty bad right now--which I do realize is pretty normal toddler behavior, but it still gets on my nerves (like when I tell her to stop touching something and she does it again and looks at me to see what I do). I guess what I need are some tips on getting through this (because I have probably raised my voice too many times : ), and maybe some words of encouragement that these behaviors will pass with time (I'm almost to the point of wanting to nix the idea of homeschooling just to get a break )?!!? Help please.

Thanks

[4evermom]

I can SO relate to wanting to send dc to school to catch a break. My ds is a month and 3/4 younger than your dd and he acts similarly. Mostly, I'm hoping that this is a stage that he will grow out of soon. I know some of it stems from being bored or tired. Ds gets so cranky, I just want someone to take him away.

I try not to be around anything he can't touch. I shop in thrift stores which tend to be more relaxed about children touching things. At home, I put things out of reach if I really care. He acts pretty well when we're not at home unless we've been out too long.

[gaialice]

I am reading "Unconditional parenting" by Alfie Kohn, and I am changing my mind on so many things. I so understand you because my dd who is 4 is also doing the things you describe. What I read last night (I am not quoting) was that kids are not testing the limit in order to know what is allowed or not, since they do know that. They are testing the limit of our unconditional love. How accepting are we of our dc? Do we love them whatever they do? When will we finally lose it and show (by yelling, threatening, punishing) that we only love them when they behave well they have tested - and found - the limit. Now this is very nicely written, but boy is it hard with a challenging 4-year-old. While I was reading this, in fact, she came out of her room protesting she could not sleep. It was 22:30. We need to wake up at 7:30. She does not nap any more. I just yelled at her
I know what I should not be doing much better than what I should actually do.
My advice is that, if she is looking for attention, give it to her. If you say, don't touch and she does..... why not say... "I will eat you" and chase her?
I do not know what to say. I am in a middle of a mind change
Hugs to you!