What have you done for YOURSELF lately?? support

[FireWithin]

Laurel's thread has had me thinking about my own similar struggles and the accompanying inertia.
Sometimes it is really easy to forget about your own needs while so busy taking care of such needy humans. Babies, tots and children need us so much - how can we ignore those needs.
I think the important thing is balance and remembering that your needs as a human are important also.

This is important for any mother, SAHM, WAHM or WOHM. I do think that SAHM have unique issues, which is why I thought to put this thread on this forum. Without a personal outlet I think it is very easy to get "lost" . SAHMs don't have outside work to feel a sense of accomplishment apart from our vital mothering.

I am hoping that this thread can help us keep motivated about taking care of ourselves. And, help us fight the inertia that focusing on others and being removed from the outside world can do.

At first I was thinking of intellectual pursuits only, but realized that other non-mothering pursuits are just as important. I am also not suggesting that art of mothering isn't a hugely important thing or that women who are fully satisfied with that alone, at the moment, are lacking. I just realized that I need to keep "me" going also. I also think that it is important to model this to our children.

[Mallory]

Since the past almost two years that I have been a single mom, I hardly ever am without my children, I usually have to fit it in with them.

Some of the things I do

Run- usually around the park while my children are playing there, I love running!

Cross stitch-again with my children at home!

Call a friend and chat- I live in the middle of the country and have friends on both coasts, so there are only a few hours in the very middle of the night when I can't call someone.

Slowly working twoards being a lactation conslutant, but in no hurry.

Having been a teacher, and at one time determined to open my own school, I also really enjoy learning about curriculums, homeschooling ideas, ect. We are also going to start latin this summer and I am excited about learning latin.

Strangely enough I have come to like the doing the dishes- My boys are getting old enought that they know if they come ask for something, have a fight, ect while I am doing the dishes my response will be to tell them to help me first then I will help them. So what it usually means is I get 20 or 30 minutes of quiet to just think or relax, I think the warm water helps too!

[MomInCalifornia]

I go to the health club every day for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. The kids both come with me, but they go to child care there. Abby LOVEs it and gets to do music, dance, play with other kids, do games etc, and Ethan is held and played with by one of the great child care workers. I exercise and then get in the spa. Sometimes I shower and get ready for the day as well, depending on the time and our plans for the day.

I recently attended a Doula training 3 day event. Ethan obviously came with me, but it was still something that was really for me and fulfilled part of a long term goal for me.

This Saterday I am attending a 2 hour womans bruch at church with my mom. The kids are going to have some special daddy time, which I think is important for them, and I will get some time to nourish me as well.

I try to scrapbook one night a month with friends.

[Lucky]

I run, to keep my sanity, 5 days a week.

Last wknd, I went bra and panty shopping,(Finally!!!)

I meet my girlfriends for coffee, lunch, walks, and/or pedicures weekly. (we take our nurslings along, but it's totally for the mommies. )

[FireWithin]

My DH just signed up for two college courses for the summer. We both agree that they are really important for his career. This will put a strain on the family, but I am in full support. BUT - I am jealous. I would love to take a class. It is just not possible.
So- what am I doing for myself?

I have decided to focus on reading non-parenting books that will keep me learning. Up until now, I have focused on parenting books. That isn't a bad thing at all, but I am ready to put my attention on other things. I've read A Year of Wonders and am reading another book by the author Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women Geraldine Brooks. I have enjoyed by a lot. It is helping satisfy my desire for academia.

I have been missing my career. Someone mentioned maybe I could start a baby signing class at a nearby Gymboree. My goal is to get my resume updated by Sunday and request some baby sign curriculum from the library. I can do this by sunday.

I will report my progress later. Wish me luck.

[maria423]

Hi! I am new to this forum and think it's a great idea!

Anyway, I am making a point to do more things for ME lately. Some things I do:

- Exercise - I try to do this at least 3-4 times a week, outside jogging if the weather's nice, inside treadmill if it's not.

- Read - Every night before bed (and during the day when I'm nursing ds and dd is napping). I read about 1-2 novels a week.

- Write - I WANT to do this. I have this idea for something I want to write, and I NEED to set aside a chunk of time every day to work on this. It's always on my mind.

[Mallory]

- Read - Every night before bed (and during the day when I'm nursing ds and dd is napping). I read about 1-2 novels a week.

I forgot about this, but reading is more like breathing for me- I read more like 4 or 5 novels and a couple non fiction a week. I used to read as I nursed my children to sleep and I always felt like I got cheated out of my time if they fell asleep too quickly :LOL They don't nurse now (they are 4 and 5) but still go to sleep next to me reading with my flashlight

[angel04345]

I like this thread its good to think of yourself now and then! I like to take HOT showers! I get to be alone with no one hanging off my leg! No one asking for Juice no one asking for a story or a movie or to play outside! I stay in there as long as I can! I also love to scrap book! I don't do it often but when I do my daughter is usually the subject of it! I also occasionally get a sitter and spend a night at home with my husband or go shopping with friends! Of course those outings require spending money!

[maria423]

Angel, I stay in the shower as long as I can too!

[Cranberry]

I like to go to the library ALONE and browse!

[HelloKitty]

I joined the tea swap here on MDC and also a Mother's Day swap. It's a little something that's all mine to do and give me a little lift each time I get a package.

[OTMomma]

I"m enjoying this thread. I feel like I'm stuggeling right now as a person. I feel like I'm being totally defined in life by my roles as wife and mother. Since the first of the year I have had a strong drive to create, and I have been quilting, crochetting, and sewing like crazy. That is something I have for me, but I'm searching for more. I wish I could figure out what would really help me feel fullfilled, and come up with a plan to make it work.

[mamarhu]

I second the reading and showers for precious alone time. Even though my kids are older, with homeschooling we don't have the built-in babysitter of school. I am taking online college classes, at least as much for recreation as career goals. I am such a nerd!

[julielenore]

I make tme to go on the computer, even though there are so many other things I should be doing.
Every night my dp watches the kids so I can go for a bike ride. It is my time of quiet, being away from the house, being alone,and my time to think. I am also getting much needed exercise. :LOL

[mmace]

Like Mallory, I've been a single SAHM now for almost two years, so time without kids is very, very rare. My oldest two get on the bus at 7:15, and the younger two usually sleep until 8:00 or so. I love having that time to sip a cup of cappucino (instant, but still yummy!), read, check email, pray, sometimes call a friend - just enjoy beginning the day with some peace and quiet. I also have some time to myself after everyone is in bed, and I cherish that time to unwind. Seems a little sad that the only time I get to myself on a daily basis is when the kids are all sleeping.

The one BIG thing I have going on is a yearly trip with girlfriends. Interestingly enough, these are all girls that met online! Last year was the first trip - we all met at one friends house in Boston, this year we are headed to another friends in Minneapolis. I can't even begin to tell you what a huge step it was for me to go - everyone else was leaving their kids with a loving spouse, I was leaving mine with my parents for part of the time and their dad the rest of the time. It was a *huge* thing for me - I'm admittedly a bit of a control freak, and I'd never left them for more than a couple of hours. But after last year, I know how renewing it is for me, and I can't wait to go this year!

[taliasully]

non mom girlfriends,

Seeing I am a relatively youngish mom, my non-mom girlfriends keep me feeling in touch with the rest of the world. I love to hear how they can care so much about fashion , parties etc, I feel younger after being around them, this month I also had to choose between a yoga class for me or doing tumlbling with my son, which I know he would love, I chose yoga, I love the class and feel proud to have put myself first BUT still have that tinge of guilt when I see the other mommies coming out of tumbling with thier kids

[rainbowmoon]

I take long leisurley soaks in the tub at night (complete with candles and chocolates on occasion) when ds is asleep.

I bought myself a dozen pink roses 2 weeks ago

I am getting a pedicure this weekend.

[Elphaba]

...

[crunchy_mama]

Like OTMamma I have felt a creative surge lately and am feeling so lucky that I am able to stay at home so I can work on my creative side- which honestly I have never done. I have several craft projects in the work right now; making a slip cover, decorating lil' man's room, scrapbooking and I am wanting to expand my sewing skills- which are admittedly very weak(I am working on how to sew a straight line!!). I also am going to explore making some wool diapers- I found a super easy pattern yesterday.

I exercise regulary, I started yoga again and am doing spinning classes. I take these at 6 am and dh watches lil' man. This is about 4 days a week I also take walks with lil' man sometimes.

I take nice long hot baths whenever I can, I have dh watch lil' man, often these are the only baths I get. I usually bring a book in there with me.

I do a lot of reading on-line, I can usually get lil' man to take one of his naps at the computer chair.

I am wanting to start reading more, maybe even fiction.


DH and I are working on training to become NFP teachers and I am about to start the process to become a LLLL. This is more to keep my brain active.

I wish I had started taking time sooner because I was sooo stressed when lil' man was a newborn, however I think a lot of that was just figuring out how to be a mom.

[Mama Bee]

I feel these days that just about everything I do is for someone else.... comes with having a DP in school, a three year old AND being 9+ months pregnant!! :LOL

However, I did something this morning I never, ever do... I went and got a pedicure. My Mother Blessing is tomorrow and I didn't want to have yucky winter feet : and lord knows I can't reach my feet to do it myself!

I'm really hesitant to make predictions about the future because of the Little Bean on the way but my intention is to exercise daily- run, join a class.... something that is just for me. I'll have to do it wicked early in the morning so it doesn't conflict with DH's daily run but I think it's important. I also have intentions of becoming a Birth Instructor and would like to start work on that towards the end of the summer. But again, who knows what the future has in store.

It's nice to see so many Mamas making an effort to take care of themselves. It's encouraging!