My ds is 2 3/4 and has recently (just this past week) begun spitting in my face. Awhile back he went through a phase where he was spitting just for the heck of it, and at no one in particular, just because it was fun. We ignored the spitting and he stopped doing it. This is different. This is deliberately spitting at us in the middle of tantrums, or in an effort to be funny, or when he's not happy with us for some reason. He also did it to his 5-yr-old cousin the other day. The more upset she got, the more he spit at her. We were in the car, and I was driving on the freeway, so I could not stop to intervene, and all my efforts to tell him to stop did not work. Also, he has started hitting and kicking me and dh during tantrums. This is something he has not done in a very long time because we had worked to teach him that you can be angry, but hitting or hurting others is not OK. Before, it was like the hitting or kicking was more part of him releasing his anger and not specifically directed at me or dh. Now, he is definitely angry, but his actions are more deliberate and purposefully directed at us. I feel like this time around, he "means" to hurt us.
I do not know how to handle this. I do not like being spit on (or hit or kicked, for that matter). It is really hard to control my temper in these situations, though I feel I've done a pretty good job of staying calm. I just don't know how to find a non-punitive way to teach him that this is unacceptable, and the gentler things we're doing don't seem to be working. If I tell him to stop, or tell him he will have to go in another room, or that I"ll be leaving the room, he just gets mad and spits or hits more, trying to get as much of it in as possible before I remove him from me.
I do not know how to handle this. I do not like being spit on (or hit or kicked, for that matter). It is really hard to control my temper in these situations, though I feel I've done a pretty good job of staying calm. I just don't know how to find a non-punitive way to teach him that this is unacceptable, and the gentler things we're doing don't seem to be working. If I tell him to stop, or tell him he will have to go in another room, or that I"ll be leaving the room, he just gets mad and spits or hits more, trying to get as much of it in as possible before I remove him from me.
: ) was when I was squatting in front of him, trying to talk to him, and he spit right in my face. It felt like such a huge violation - so disrespectful (so I violated him back... ugh.).
