Poor SAHMs - Page 3

[Greaseball]

Different states have different rules, and in some places a social worker must visit your home before approving you for food stamps to make sure you don't have a bunch of nice stuff you could sell for food. Looking for signs of abuse may be part of it too; someone told me that was why WIC required all kids to be stripped naked at appointments. We had a public health nurse visit our home after dd1 was born; they make no bones about the fact that their mission is to prevent child abuse. I didn't mind this because I like blowing everyone's stereotype of the low-income mother - being one who breastfeeds and doesn't spank, for example.

But definitely find out if they are required to visit your home...if not, obviously I'd prefer they stay out...but then I do have nice stuff that I refuse to trade for food! :LOL

I didn't need a birth cert to get foodstamps - just a photo ID, current address, proof of income and proof of how much I paid in rent and utilities.

[emomama]

well, if all my kids' toys qualify as nice stuff, then we're in trouble because we have a bunch of it! :LOL seriously though, we're pretty stripped down here except for my husband's computer which is how we make money, so i'm not too worried about them thinking we have anything of value to sell. we've pretty much pawned everything we could already.

we're obviously not abusing our children, my house is mostly clean and we're bf, etc., so i guess i shouldn't be so nervous, eh? i guess it's just the thought of someone coming into my personal space to evaluate my performance as a mother that instantly puts me on the defensive. i guess i'll just have to wait for my appointment to find out exactly what they want from me... it just bothers me that she wouldn't tell me on the phone what the meeting was for in the first place.

[Greaseball]

i guess it's just the thought of someone coming into my personal space to evaluate my performance as a mother that instantly puts me on the defensive.

IKWYM...that's one of the reasons I stopped getting WIC. It felt like they were trying to find something I was doing wrong. After the pediatrician told me what a good job I was doing and how healthy dd was, WIC would say she was too skinny, that extended nursing was harming her, and that I was teaching her bad habits. Later I found out that in my state children have to have "health risks" to qualify for the program, so they were most likely fudging data just to keep us enrolled...

[RyvreWillow]

Hmmm...it doesn't sound right that the caseworker "has" to come to your home...we've never even met ours in person, as a phone interview is an option (but you have to ask for it).

When you fill out an application for foodstamps or medicaid, it should come with a paper briefly explaining your rights, such as how to request a hearing if you think you've been wrongly rejected for state services.

As far as where to get the applications, i asked at the health department, during a WIC appointment (i stopped going about a year ago, because i decided i didn't like the program), and they had them there.

I also think it's odd that they would make a child strip at a WIC appointment; although they made us do some strange things (constant blood tests for things they hadn't been exposed to), that was never one of them.

[RyvreWillow]

weebitty2, that is freaky about our life stories, hahaha!

I am seriously considering the salvage yard for the Prizm; i'm thinking maybe they'll give me a little more if i go ahead and bring it while it will still roll onto the lot, lol!

We're looking for a *shudder* minivan, or at least a larger station wagon anyway, because even though i think maybe Ryvre can forgo the carseat by the time baby #3 is born (he will be 4 years old, so not legally obligated to use a carseat), it will still be a tight squeeze back there.

[Greaseball]

OK maybe this needs its own spinoff thread...but what about poor SAHMs who homeschool?

Right now I can fire off the old "But if I got a job I'd only be working to pay the daycare provider!" (Even though I could earn more...but no one has to know, right? ) But it's going to be very hard to use that argument when the kids are school-age and I just won't put them in public school. We'll be a one-income family whose income could double if only the lazy wife would get a job...

[skueppers]

Originally Posted by Felicitymom

For those who make us feel guilty for doing it... their outburst toward us are really a mirror for them and their own guilt for not doing it. (whether they know it or not).

I don't really agree with this. Sure, I think that may sometimes be the case, but I think there are lots of people whose values are just different.

I've encountered plenty of people who seem to genuinely believe that it's better for women to work outside the home, because it illustrates to their children that men and women are equally capable in the workforce. People who really do seem to think it's more important to provide children with some kind of formal (and expensive) "enrichment" activity every day than it is to have time with the kids. Many of these folks seem to honestly think it's important for their children to learn the "independence" and "social skills" that they get from being in daycare from a young age.

Obviously, I don't agree with them, but I think dismissing their ideas as being motivated by guilt misses the bigger, and more frightening picture: having both parents work outside the home has reached a point in our society where a substantial number of people have actually started viewing it as a superior child-rearing method to having a parent stay home.