Update on my CONDOM post

[razzledbrat]

WOW!!! I am truly amazed as what my first post started. I havent been able to check out the replies for awhile as my computer decided to go nutso on me. I did get to read the first few and was going to respond after I had "THE" conversation with my son, lol

Anywho.....I was gonna jump on here and post another thread about my 13 year old step daughter (we have custody of) wearing T Bar undies, but seen the tons of responses to this post, ha! I'll post about my sd later!

There are soooo many! I kinda scanned thru them so I'm gonna throw out a few answers to you

First I'd like to say a big fat THANK YOU to the responders out there who support my decision about being open with my kids and thank you for "having my back" when other posters tried to "down" me.

Thank you all for all the responses and glad to see I caused such a stir with my first post cause....it wont be my last

1. Um...yes...that was my first post on this board
2. No...I did not know there was talk about condoms on another board and that is not what I was posting about
3. After talking more with my son....I found that he DID try to puchase them on his own and the clerk refused. I'm sure this embarrassed him to no end, therefore he dont wanna try that again! Heck...I wouldnt. He is 15, but his is about 4'11" and weights about 90 lbs! Yep...petite lil guy, ha!
4. I did talk with him more and did talk to him about std's,heartbreaks,honesty,trust. I basically gave him a choice....its "car parts" or diapers! lol
5. I also did mention to him how happy I was that he was able to come to me to discuss this (even tho I almost puked)
6. I took him to planned parenthood, so we could get ALL info & brochures needed (to back up moms speech, lol) and a variety of free condoms. If he's gonna be a "big boy"....lets do this right! ha!

I think thats it for now! Like I said...I havent had a chance to read ALL of the responses, but a few caught my eye!

Anywho....thanks again for helping me out and I definately feel like I did the right thing...Thanks!

Razzledbrat!

[Ruthla]

Sounds like you did a good job on teaching him this stuff!!

Great that the PP near you was able to get him a variety of condoms- the last time I asked at PP they didn't carry the kind my then-dh needed (Trojan Magnum.) I'm not sure how much penis size is related to genetics (is he likely to be around the same size as his father??) but if my ds came to me in 12 years asking me to buy him condoms, I'd probably buy him a few kinds INCLUDING the size his father needed.

You know, that's one conversation I am NOT looking forward to having- a discussion on penis size with my son!!! Fortunately, he's only 3 years old at the moment, and the last conversation I had with him about genitals consisted of him telling me "I have a penis. You don't have a penis."

[paquerette]

Originally Posted by razzledbrat

he DID try to puchase them on his own and the clerk refused.

Gah. Is that even legal? I'd raise a fuss with a manager.

[sarahmae1]

Sounds like you did a great job! I hope that my boys and I are able to be as open and honest with each other when the time comes!

[JenniferC]

You go mamma! It sounds like you did and are doing a great job. I only have a wee girl child, but girls should be prepared with condoms too when the time comes!

[Momtwice]

I'm glad things are going well on the communication front.

WARNING! Consumer Reports says that PP's condoms are NOT GOOD!
Break too easy they say. Here is an article, they are at the bottom. Is that like a generic/store brand? Do they offer others?
http://www.consumerreports.org/main/...3Ecnt_id=19263

[PoppyMama]

[PikkuMyy]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Fortunately, he's only 3 years old at the moment, and the last conversation I had with him about genitals consisted of him telling me "I have a penis. You don't have a penis."

:LOL :LOL :LOL

[Arduinna]

Good Job Mama!

[Gendenwitha]

Originally Posted by razzledbrat

3. After talking more with my son....I found that he DID try to puchase them on his own and the clerk refused. I'm sure this embarrassed him to no end, therefore he dont wanna try that again! Heck...I wouldnt. He is 15, but his is about 4'11" and weights about 90 lbs! Yep...petite lil guy, ha!

I'll always remember a friend of mine in high school who was on the paper was interviewing a guy in his 20's who contracted AIDS as a teen. This young man too had tried to buy condoms and been refused by a store clerk. --Something you might want to mention to the store manager if you do say something to them.

[julie128]

Sounds like the conversation one of my high school friend's parents had with him.
Did you talk with him about the emotional aspects of sex? Sometimes adults get so wrapped up in pregnancy and std's that they forget about the emotional stuff.

[CaraboosMama]

Originally Posted by julie128

Sounds like the conversation one of my high school friend's parents had with him.
Did you talk with him about the emotional aspects of sex? Sometimes adults get so wrapped up in pregnancy and std's that they forget about the emotional stuff.

Can I 2nd this & also add that a few volunteer sessions together at an AIDS hospice is a great way to go. Average condom use results in about 75 - 80% effectiveness at protecting against pregnancy - and you can't get pregnant every day. AIDS isn't just a few days out of the month like ovulation - it's available every day of the month. It's hard to make that a reality to a 15 year old, but worth a shot. Also, if you feel comfortable discussing it w/ him (or if your DH does) talk about other ways to be intimate besides the big 3 (oral sex, anal sex, intercourse) sorry if this is a bit graphic. I used to a lot of work w/ teens & even though our dd is only 17 mths, we have talked about how we will discuss these things w/ her. You would be suprised at how more & more teens are engaging in unprotected oral & anal sex to avoid pregnancy it's a conversation worth having, no matter how embarrasing

just my $0.02

[Starr]

I agree with the above that its always a good idea to mention that there are side effects to other ways of fooling around as well. I think at their age their biggest worry is getting pregnant, yes they are wary of STD's but IMO after talking with kids their first concern is babies. I don't know if they think all STD's can be cured eaily or if it just seems that they are immune to them. But either way I would bring it up.

[johub]

I would be furious at the store clerk too!

I wanted to comment about your mention of your 13 year old s/d s underwear choice.

My dd is 13 and when I found some contraband thong underwear in her laundry I freaked. I cut them and threw them away.
To me they were sexual (in my grown up mind)
After talking to dd I found out that all of her regular underwear shows through her DANCE leotard and all the dancers wear thong underwear.
And after talkig to DH he told me that I have no business trying to prevent her from growing up. And even if I did, forcing her to wear different underwear really isnt going to help my cause any.
And so I ran out and replaced the underwear I threw away
BUt I did tell her that she ought to have discussed it with me about changing the rule rather than going behind my back.

Joline
eta
p.s. I dont know your story but I hope this helps! LOL

[nonconformnmom]

Joline! I'm laughing at your thong story (I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you ) That is such a human reaction; I can totally see myself doing that, too. How wonderful that you feel secure enough to share that story here.

I see many posters on this thread suggested a trip to planned parenthood (which I think is a great idea). I just thought I'd share that my experience with planned parenthood when my teenage daughter asked for birth control was less than stellar. I identified at least three barriers to obtaining birth control in one visit to PP. I'm glad that there is such an organization as Planned Parenthood, but as I understand it, each PP office is different in how it is run and managed and, in my small town at least, PP is no guarantee of helpfulness to teens who are sexually active.

[Curious Me]

Originally Posted by paquerette

Gah. Is that even legal? I'd raise a fuss with a manager.

Huh???? Please tell me you're joking......

[johub]

Yeah, there is no age restriction on the purchase of condoms. So it is age discrimination to refuse to serve.

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by Curious Me

Huh???? Please tell me you're joking......

If my daughter or son were refused a legal purchase, yes I certainly would be having a conversation with the manager.

[AntoninBeGonin]

Razzledbrat,

Great job to both you and your son. I'm always glad to see a teen who's interested in taking responsibility before they have sex.

As for the clerk who wouldn't sell your son the condoms, yes, I also think you should talk (not confront) the store manager. Just let him/her know what happened and you aren't pleased. Just my **2 cents** (We need a 2 cents smiley on here!)

~Nay

[Curious Me]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

If my daughter or son were refused a legal purchase, yes I certainly would be having a conversation with the manager.

Aghghghghghghhhhhh!!!! Thanks to your reply, I realized that I completely incorrectly read what paquerette wrote!!!

I agree, I agree!!! I totally agree! I'm sorry paquerette.