Promoting competition between siblings

[dharmamama]

One of the best ways to get my daughter upstairs to brush her teeth and get ready for nap (both of which she is quite resistant to) is to say, "Who can get upstairs and get started brushing their teeth first?" Both kids make a mad dash for the upstairs bathroom, and usually my daughter will start brushing her own teeth (which is usually a huge struggle in and of itself). My daughter always wins (she's older and more coordinated, and I often help her out by asking who can get there first while I'm finishing up my son's diaper change because winning isn't the issue with him, it's the mad dash that's fun).

I started thinking, though, that I don't want to promote competition between my kids, so I need to stop doing this. I thought about asking my kids if they can get upstairs before me, but that's still promoting competition.

Can anyone think of a way to promote cooperation in getting upstairs and ready for nap that's as much fun (apparently) and as motivating as the "Who can do it first?" approach? Perhaps asking them if they can do it in under a certain amount of time? They might be a little young for something that abstract.

Namaste!

[mamaduck]

I tend to suggest that they try to beat their own score. "You run upstairs and I'll time you."

[Lila Sue]

My girls & I pretend to be robots & I sing a repetetive song with no words and a good beat (da, da, da, da, da-da-da...do, do, do, do do-do-do...you get it) We bop along to the beat and just get it done. Sometimes I vary the beat & that's their cue to either slow down their movements or speed up. This works best when used for only one thing (in our case putting on pj's) and executed with genuine cheer on my part.

I also do it the exact same way every time. If I just plop one of them on the stool in front of the sink without inviting them to "step right up to the tooth-brushing station" they will jump down and insist I do it properly.

I think the robot thing works so well because they're vaguely interested in robots, but its not their favorite thing, so they don't have the desire to explore it fully. Plus, robots just do what they're told. I don't think they'd be nearly as cooperative if they were pretending to be cats.

[Tigerchild]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

Can anyone think of a way to promote cooperation in getting upstairs and ready for nap that's as much fun (apparently) and as motivating as the "Who can do it first?" approach? Perhaps asking them if they can do it in under a certain amount of time? They might be a little young for something that abstract.

My recall is total crap (it's been a really bad day) so I can't think of anything off the top of my head BUT there is a GREAT book called "Siblings Without Rivalry" that has some great suggestions about that kind of thing. I don't remember the authors' names (I bet someone here knows though), they are 2 women. But if you can snag a copy at your library, it's a really cool book and a good idea generator.

[L.J.]

A simple change in language and you can say....
"Let's see how fast we can all get upstairs."

[kim76]

I don't think they'd be nearly as cooperative if they were pretending to be cats.[/QUOTE]

This is really funny and cute. Thank you so much for posting. It's true that they definitely need routine. I think you should cut/ paste this anecdote and put it in their photo album or scrapbook. It's such a slice of life.
Kim in Maryland