Any other UCers in here?

[hottmama]

Any January moms having an unassisted pregnancy and birth? I am due Dec. 28 but supposedly most 2nd-time moms are 5 days "late" (compared to first time moms who average 8 days late) which would make me a January mama (for the second time!).
I have a 27 month old who was born with a CNM in a hospital, which is one of the few parenting choices I regret. I didn't have drugs, but she did break my water at 9.5 cm (to speed things up-uughh) and then I had an episiotomy which I'm sure could have been avoided if she hadn't broken my water and I'd had more time to stretch.
I am so excited to be birthing at home, with no one telling me what I should be doing or doing internal exams or checking FHT or any other intrusions on my birth. Anyways, wanted to start a UP/UC thread over here, although I frequent the unassisted birth forums as well.

[because]

I have a secret UC fantasy but we'll end up having a CPM or DEM at home like we did with DD, I'm sure.

I'll probably lurk on the UC thread...

[hottmama]

You should totally follow your instinct- it seems like in the UC forum there are always moms deciding to UC late in pregnancy after realizing that, as much as they like their midwife, they really don't want them at their birth. The more I read about unassisted birth the more I love the whole idea. I even gave up my plans of attending midwifery school due to my increased belief in UC (which leaves me without a career plan of any sort, but with a BA and my good looks, I'm sure I'll figure something out).

[because]

I just get so dependent during labor. Needing to be squeezed and reassured all the time. It would be so much for DH that it doesn't seem fair. At DD's birth, I had DH, both of my parents, two midwives, and a photographer and I kept them all busy...

My UC fantasy goes along the lines of not being so needy; maybe I just wish I were more independent or self-confident or....? I dunno.

[Arora The Explorer]

I'm due in December, but I'm planning a UC. Just thought I'd pop in...

Hmmm, so the average of 5 days late for a second baby. Hmmm, with my second I was a day early from conception. With my son, I was a day late based on conception. I must have pulled down the average a bit.

Anyway, Hottmama, I'll see you over in the UC forum.

Jessica, UC fantasies are so nice, aren't they? I think birth fantasy is so very important. Really helps us see what we desire. Perhaps UC isn't what you truly desire. Maybe your desires lie more in the neediness. This time may be very much different. I think second births are usually just wonderful!

[Persephone]

Well, if I am, then I'll be joining this thread. Got a faint line today, this calculator says I'm due Jan 19th, if I am. http://www.dietquest.com/pregnancy_calculator.asp (I like it because it asks you for your avge cycle length as well as your normal luteal phase.)

[hottmama]

YAY! Congratulations! 3 of us now!

[Persephone]

So, I pretty much intend to give birth all on my own. But being as this is my first, I want that woman energy around me. I have a good friend coming hopefully, a doula friend, and possibly an older doula woman. She's also training to be a midwife. My doula friend gave me a list of midwives who are pretty hands off. I'd love it if I had a midwife who just sat back and let things happen. So, I guess I'm not technically at the UC point, but I feel like I fit in here more than in just midwife assisted homebirth. (Homebirthing was never something I questioned. It's going to be at home, barring something going horribly wrong.)

[Rockies5]

Jumping in here...

as well. I'm always so shocked at how few women ever considered UC. :LOL

There is no such thing as an uninvolved mw. It would be nice, I agree...but it just goes against their learning for the most part and I think even the desire to BE a mw you have to want a sense of control. I think those that truely want to support women become doulas. Those that want to help women feel safe and educated at home, as well as provide back up to the natural process...become midwives. And I've never met a mw who didn't have a VERY strong personality, not that this is a bad thing. I happen to have a very stong personality myself I did have what I call a "partial" UC for our third. I had prenatal care and did invite the mw after I had started pushing. Then she comes in rattling tanks and has to do assessment and ht's and even my temp because of the law.....so it was a bother, but the best you can get with a professional there. I loced her, but thought she was unecessary to me and would be better off at someone elses birth.

Anyhow, yeah planning UC #2, not quite sure how the UP will go over on DH; I think it would allow him to be more 100% certain of UC again IF I had full prenatal care. This is how it worked out last time and he was BEAUTIFUL durring birth. I mean if MY baby were growing in HIS body I would have the same issues I don't really buy that prenatal care causes any harm (unless you're uninformed and just go on truth whatever the dr says w/o any self-education) I fully understand the subtle messages and can let them slide, and with four other children I just don't kow if I have the self-attention UP takes.

also wanted to add that I am a crybaby durring labor and want to be cared for. I don't however call this neediness so much as having someone great I can lean on (dh). If it weren't for him I'd have to be all stoic and controlling like always. I find birth very freeing in this. Otherwise I would never know what an awesomely strong dh I have

Anyhow, getting the monkeys into bed. Hope all have a great night. I'll check in later.

Carrie

[hottmama]

Carrie- I'm not a "sit around and look inside yourself" kind of person, so I'm doing some prenatal care on myself (B/P, listening to the HB with a stethoscope later on, etc). I don't think a midwife or doctor could do any more for me, so why bother? I know some UPers do not take BP or anything, but it's easy and comforting, IMO.

[Aurora]

I am here! Planning our 2nd UP/UC.

[hottmama]

I'm so glad there are a couple of you in here who are on UC #2! It's hard to sit around doing nothing while everyone else is going to the dr., getting ultrasounds, etc. etc. I know it's better for me and the baby, but it's not very exciting. :LOL
I keep coming up with "reasons" why I need an U/S. THe latest is that I'm about 1cm dilated- what's up with that? (I'm not going to get an U/S, it's just my craziness).

[Persephone]

Well, a friend of mine who was going to be my doula got pg, and is due the same week I am. And I think she wants the same midwife I do. So, I think I lost my doula and midwife in one fell swoop! Looks like I'll prolly be going UC just by neccesity, now! I didn't want to do it that way, if I was going to UC, I wanted it to be because I wanted to, not because I had to. But, I'm not insured, so paying for anything would be out of pocket, and UC is cheap, and both my labor support people are unavailable (I think), so... looks like UC for (almost) sure. I have to talk to my midwife again before completely deciding.

I am nervous about it though... To get a birth certificate, I have to prove the pregnancy, don't I? And a care provider can do that, right? And what if I do have to transfer? who will care for me at the hospital? Someone I've never met, who will likely cut me open? And then we have to pay for the HOSPITAL! Oh, I feel queasy. Is it the nerves or the pregnancy? :LOL

[hottmama]

Persephone- do you qualify for medicaid (you do if your income is less than $28K a year)? I am going to apply for it just as a backup in case of emergency. However, I have to have a dr.'s note saying that I am pregnant, and I don't particularly want to see a dr., so I haven't done it yet.
I think if you don't have a care provider's not that you were pregnant, a couple witnesses can swear to it instead. Really, there's no way they're going to deny you a BC.
If you have to transfer, it's going to be an emergency, and you'd likely be stuck with whoever was there even if you had a normal provider.
I'm starting to think I'd like a doula, for massage/etc. I think I may ask my friend who's a masseuse if she could massage me during labor. I'm expecting back labor again, as I have scoliosis and my spine is all funky.

[Persephone]

There is a possibility I can still have a doula. Doulas can prove the pregnancy, as far as I can tell. And if I have a doula with me if I have to transfer, that would be pretty cool too. Yep, I'm just going to have to get me a doula!

[Sweeney]

Persephone- I understand! My best friend is due the same day as me (Jan. 6thish), and although it is cool to have someone to share pregnancy with, we've lost each of us having the other for support at the birth. We were also a little worried since we were both looking to interview the same homebirth MW. But so you know, when I explained the situation to said MW she said that she usually takes about 3-4 births a month anyway and what are really the chances of both of us going when we're due? My friend and I are also fine with the possibility of going unassisted if the MW can't make it, especially since it's January- SNOW! The other cool thing about this MW is that if a hospital transfer becomes necessary she goes with and acts in a doula capacity in the hospital. Very cool, since lay-midwives are alegal here in Ohio.

But I've heard of a good doula locally who will just sit in the corner if you want at your UC....

BAH! The inability to make decisions appears to be a sign of pregnancy with me.

Time for more soul searching and interviewing!

[Persephone]

Sweeney, that's great! And thanks for the reassurance. This doula is a new friend of mine, and the frienship is still shaky. I wouldn't want to lose her as a friend over something like this. The midwife emailed me today, so I guess I still have a chance. She's also a doula and an RN, so I'd feel great with her if I had to transfer. As much as I like UC, and the ideas behind it, I feel that for me this is the best way to go.

BTW, I lived in Cincy until last year, where abouts are you? I lived in West Chester. I didn't know a lot about the AP/ birth scene there though, cause I wasn't so into it then.

[Rockies5]

Just dropping by to say hello. I have also started a winter homebirth group for those that want to join. there are only 3 of us currently, so small and sweet. So inviting the winter hom/UC mamas

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homebirthwinter2006/

[MamaTaraX]

Originally Posted by Persephone

This doula is a new friend of mine, and the frienship is still shaky. I wouldn't want to lose her as a friend over something like this.

Lose me? How on earth would you lose me over something like that!? Silly girl! You can't get rid of me that easily *muwahahahaha* I'm just itching to see which one of us pops out a babe first. I think it'll be me.
Oh, and incase anyone wonders, I'm the "doula friend" of whom Persephone speaks. I think it's pretty cool to have a friend due at the same time as me AND to attend her birth (even if it'll probably be with a newborn on my back)
Namaste, Tara (who honestly had no intentions of being due the same week assomeone who wanted me to doula for them!)

[Persephone]

lol! I think it will be you too, Tara. It's pretty well known that first timers take longer, isn't it? Or is that just longer labors?

Anyway, I too think it's cool that we can go through our pregnancies together! Very fun! And even if you're there with a baby on your back, and without your "doula hat", you'll still be a great help to me and Chris, I think.