Is it getting harder to take care of your other babes?

[Fluffhead]

No text really....the title sums up my question. Is anyone else struggling to take care of your other children because of how your pregnancy is making you feel? I am feeling SOoooo guilty because I am just not able to spread myself between two kiddos AND an unborn baby (being on bedrest isnt helping my cause) and I have to wonder if this is common or just a problem I am dealingwith? I feel like there is so much left undone...I didnt even get to finish sewing the diaper stock for our baby which has me half panicked...exhausted from the moment I get out of bed...and guilt over not being able to give my other kiddos the attention they are accustomed to having. Hmmph...thanks for letting me vent anyhoo.

[Chloe]

((marsupial))

Yes! I feel that way. I am not on bedrest, but the way I feel is not helping! Tired and big LOL and grumpy.

[Mama Bee]

Originally Posted by marsupial

Is anyone else struggling to take care of your other children because of how your pregnancy is making you feel?

Yeah, I feel this way, too. The weather has finally turned nice here and DS is just itching to go to the park and go for walks, etc. It would be no big deal but his idea of going to the park is for me to climb on the play equipment with him and go down the slide, etc. His idea of a walk is me chasing him up and down the sidewalk as he tries to climb people's front stoops, etc. At this point, I feel like I am just barely making it through daily activity much less throwing in extra 'field trip' type activities.... going to the zoo, the museum, riding the carousel at the mall (we live in DC). Playgroups are a little easier but it's still me chasing him around! I just don't have the energy & I'm not even on bed rest! :LOL I feel like such a loser. I don't remember feeling this 'pregnant' with DS. Lucky for me (and for DS, too, I guess) my MIL is flying in tomorrow to stay until after the baby is born and DH is finished with finals. I'll feel so much less guilty once she's here to chase DS and take him to do things.

Hang in there, Mama!

[slightly crunchy]

I feel this way too. Since about 36 weeks I just have so little energy. I have to force myself to go outside when he wants to play. Then all I feel like doing is sitting on the grass and falling asleep! Walks are really hard as we stop every few feet for something or other. I can walk fine but it is hard on my back to just stand still and do nothing. I haven't been able to manage any big outings by myself with ds for a while. We do the fun "field trips" on the weekend when dh can go with me and help chase after ds or carry him when he gets tired.

I feel like I am whining but well, you asked!

[Debstmomy]

This is going to sound bad, as my two are older,but yes it is getting harder with that too.
While homework is always a battle, lately I do not feel like fighting it. DS is having a hard time reading & that makes homework so stressfull.
DD & DS fight and sometimes I just let them, as long as it is not physical. I am too tired to manage it, which I know I will totally regret.
Lately I have been loaning out DD to friends with smaller children, she is a GREAT mothers helper, so that I just have one. (Then there is no fighting.)
So while mine aren't little it is getting harder to parent them these days. Many days I just wait for DH to get home. (Bad Mommie!)

[annakiss]

I've been viewing my entire pregnancy as a time to forget what I wanted to accomplish with my parenting and just know that we're doing our best. DS watches a lot of television as a result. I just haven't had the energy basically at all for the last eight months. And I've even had bursts of energy here and there, so it's not like I was on bedrest and unable or debilitatingly sick for months on end (except in the beginning). I'm just a slacker, is what it comes down to. :

[MamaFae]

OMG yes! And with DH gone during the week over the last two weeks I am wiped out! I am so glad he is on the train on his way home from the airport.

I need to recharge. I think the hardest part for me is lifting my 2 yr old. He is so darn heavy! I am trying to teach him how to climb up onto the changing table himself to help me out!

Picking up their toys is also a pain in the back litterally. So I figured a way out of it. I have them pick up everything off the floor and put it on their bed! That way I don't have to bend and can still help them clean up their room.

I am also starting to anticipate the arrival of little girl much more now, and wanting to focus on her, so it is hard to let that go and focus on the boys. I feel bad about that since it feeds my temper and my reluctance to play with them. But, now that daddy is home (or will be in about 30 mins) I feel like I can handle things better.

Blessings,
N~

[mightymoo]

Count me in - I'm exhausted and I have been going to bed shortly after DD and napping with her, but its not enough it seems.

I feel bad that I'm really less engaged, but I also know that its only for a short while and its probably not terrible for her to get used to the idea that mommy can't be at her beck and call all day long before the baby shows up.

[fireflies~for~me]

YES and I feel like I am being impatient with my sweet little guy

[rockergirrl]

yes yes yes. I am now 39+ weeks and it has been SO hard lately. Not only do I not have the energy to play with my DS as much but I feel like I have not been as patient as I would like as well. He is going through some rough 3 1/2 year old emotional meltdowns and I just have not been able to take it lately. I will cry at night because I worry if I can't handle one how on earth will I handle two. It is SO hard and no one warns you when you get pregnant the second time how different it is because you have other children. I just keep telling myself that I am doing the best I can and it is short term.

[tiffanyblitz]

Originally Posted by Debstmomy

This is going to sound bad, as my two are older,but yes it is getting harder with that too.
While homework is always a battle, lately I do not feel like fighting it. DS is having a hard time reading & that makes homework so stressfull.
...
So while mine aren't little it is getting harder to parent them these days.

Me too, me too!!

Ds is 10 (almost 11), so I don't have to pick him up, or chase him around the park, but there are SUCH exhausting struggles... We homeschool, and are getting less and less accomplished as the pg goes on. (Luckily we're enough ahead that we're still fine to finish the year and call it quits at a reasonable point).

I agree with annakiss, too - this is a time to take a deep breath and realize that "good enough" really is...

- Tiffany in AZ

[udonandbroth]

Yes, yes, me too... it's been so hard this last month, esp. I just haven't wanted to move at all. And I feel like such a jerk for having my kids more or less fend for themselves. It used to be 1hr. tops for tv but this limit has grown to more like 2 or 2 1/2. When I was younger I always swore that my household would be tv free but now I'm like 'thank god for PBS'. And the bending over, ugh. I am also trying to train the kids with helping out more (setting and clearing the table, finding their socks and shoes, picking up toys, etc.) and that helps a little. I would help even more if dh would actually pick up His socks, clothes and toys (beer bottles, dishes, papers, books etc) Not that things are going to get any better because very soon all I will really want to do is sleep and hang out with the baby!

[Cutie Patootie]

I am feeling so sad about this. Dh and I are both SAHP. For most of this pregnancy I have had a hard time sleeping at night and dh has been getting up with ds (21 months) every morning. He takes him out and they have big fun all morning long and I am so jealous. I get up around noon and put ds down for a nap. Sometimes I lay back down because I am still exhausted. It just stinks. In the morning ds sits up and pulls my finger trying to get me to get up with him. He tells me about his 'broooom brooms" (cars) like he's trying to entice me. It makes me so sad to say, "mommy is going to rest awhile". I hate it. I miss my little guy and I can never get back this time with him. It doesn't help that I am slightly emotionally from all these raging hormones...yeah, only slightly ey? :LOL

[Fluffhead]

oh my....did you say emotional? What in the heck has happened? The last weekend has been a roller coaster...granted I am worn out from bedrest (read: bored and frustrated bc I cant get anything done) but the smallest thing DH says sets me off in tears and I have had so much guilt in the way of my other two kiddos because I feel like I just havent been there in the way they are used to. Anna's post made me feel a little better because it is true...I am doing the absolute best I can possibly do right now....but that mother-ridden guilt inside screams "its not enough". Wow but it helps to hear Im not alone in the hormone department. I wasnt sure if it was hormones or side effects from the Terpatuline. Thank you so much mamas for helping me feel a little more normal through your posts.

[LinzluvsGJ]

Yes definately... despite the decent weather, Grace has been inside an enormous amount and watching way too many shows on TV the past week or so... I'm just so exhausted and having a lot of lower back/hip/pelvic pain that makes it hard for me to walk around the house, and keeping up with her outside by myself is not even an option... she runs straight for the street or to do something she shouldn't, then if I can catch her, she throws a fit that requires carrying a kicking and screaming toddler back home, which I don't have the energy to do either. So I've been trying to have Gregg take her outside the best I can (he is in a class for work this week and doing a lot of studying) and feeling kinda bad that she's missing this part of spring, but there's not a whole lot I can do physically to change that.