Spontaneous Creation: 101 Reasons Not to Have Your Baby in the Hospital - Page 3

[Greaseball]

The midwives told me they wouldn't take it personally if I wanted to yell and scream at them. A doctor probably would have "noted this in my chart."

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by Greaseball

The midwives told me they wouldn't take it personally if I wanted to yell and scream at them. A doctor probably would have "noted this in my chart."

Oh you have no idea how lucky you would be just to have it "noted in your chart". I had a hospital birth, the OB on duty wanted to break my bags of water after I had been stalled in labor for a while. We asked him to step outside for a few minutes so DP and I could discuss it. He threw his hands up and started for the door, but on the way started yelling at DP as if he wanted DP to "talk some sense into me." I finally had it with his arguing with DP, and acting as if I wasn't in the room, so I said "Dr. K, my boyfriend isn't telling you that he won't listen to your advice he's just asking you for two F---ing minutes so we can talk about it first." Yep I said the F word. And he came flying across the room at me, stood over me, I was in the bed still he had just examined, started shaking and pointing his finger at me screaming at me "You shut your mouth you dirty littel girl, nobody talks to me that way!"

ps, I'm not a little girl, I'm 5' 8" & I was 33 when I had my baby. It was all DP could do to keep from decking the man. It took 3 nurses to litterally drag him out of the L & D room while he, my DP, myself, one of the nurses, and my best girlfriend were all screaming at each other. Well everyone was screaming at him, he was screaming back at everyone else.

[Arwyn]

He shoulda decked the *beep*.

But back to homebirth goodness: You're legally allowed to kick out anyone who's threatening you, pissing you off, or just generally detracting from the flow!

[Junebug]

You won't be hounded to vaccinate your minutes-old baby for a disease that is spread through IV drug use or sex !

[Aura_Kitten]

what everyone said! and artgoddess OMG ~ you should have walked out & sued his a$$!



mine...
* delivering on the toilet if desired
* being able to burn my fertility candle next to me, in my own hot bath, in a dark locked room ~ where i felt completely safe and unhindered
* having my partner catch our daughter!! what a great experience!
* no stench of hospital chemicals around us
* no exams
* no PRESSURE
* nobody telling me to shut up when i vocalized

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by klothos

what everyone said! and artgoddess OMG ~ you should have walked out & sued his a$$!

Well, I wasn't of the mind to have a home birth at the time. I was 6 cm dialated, and I went into calm, take care of it, mode. I just looked at DP and said "I'm 6 cm dialated, I'm obviously not going anywhere. This is a hospital there are other doctors here, I don't care if you have to go down to the ER and drag someone else up, but that man isn't coming near me ever again." the nurses who were all on my side, did a great job "coaching" me to let it go, focus on my birth and get through things. They called the OB I liked at my medical group, and told him what happened. He agreed to come over on his day off to deliver when he heard about it.

The birth wound up being wonderful actually. The good OB didn't get there in time, and the nurse, who was awesome, delivered my son. It was quiet, dim lit room, with my boyfriend, my best girlfriend and the kind nurse. My girlfriend who had been a coach at 5 other births before was so impressed with what an intimate setting it wound up being after all the drama.

I'm still not sure about home birth, but I'm thinking about it now that I've found MDC. I know I want to, at the very least, be at a birthing center next time. I've got a couple years of reding about all of your wonderful home birth stories to think about it

[Aura_Kitten]

phew, well it's nice that it had a happy ending!

[willowsmom]

You won't get a call saying..."I'll be there in 5 minutes...your baby has to come out NOW"...and then have an "emergency c-section" that later you find out was unnecessary...

[girlndocs]

Your birth attendants are under the employ of no one but YOU ... not a medical group, not a hospital.

Their #1 job will be YOU ... not hospital politics, not filling out paperwork, not watching 4 other women's fetal monitors at the same time, not minor janitorial work or getting coffee for doctors (yes, in some hospitals nurses are still expected to do this).

[girlndocs]

You won't be used as a teaching tool without your permission!

[applejuice]

Originally Posted by Greaseball

A doctor probably would have "noted this in my chart."

Sounds like a "Seinfeld" episode.

[~Megan~]

I read this a few days ago but just sent it to my mom and mil

[fourgrtkidos]

You get to keep your placenta, bury it under a tree , cook it and eat it, whatever..... without having to go through great amounts of red tape to get the hospital to release your "biomedical waste" back to you :

[fourgrtkidos]

anyone have something to add? did we get to 101?

[Fluffhead]

Another interesting article....and I can tell you upfront, I have spent several nights in the hospital already for preterm labor (I went into labor at 32 weeks and my mw backed out of the picture until I hit 36 weeks which was a few days ago, but up to that point I had to see an OB) and they are all about their routines and "protocals". I'm not dissing hospitals and there are some that provide very excellent care, infact the one I have been in is partial hospital/birthing center and have CNM's on staff and etc....but the "routines" they follow are just that instead of going case by case. Here is the article

Hospital Risks

[1mama2girls+1?]

here is a compiled list of reasons so far:

1. unwanted drugs will not be pushed on you at home
2. Your baby won't get switched with another at home
3. You are used to the germs at your own house.
4. MW's don't carry Electronic Fetal Monitoring machines that strap you to the bed.
5. No one to tell you not to eat or drink
6.Your baby won't get its toe chopped off when the nurse is removing the ankle band.
7. your baby won't be given carbon monoxide instead of oxygen and rendered brain damaged.
8. You don't have to get in a car during labor (unless you want to! - does anyone want to?).
9. Privacy, Privacy, Privacy!
10. Less disturbance to your hormones and sphincters.
11. Get to hear the wind, rain, birds chirping, water flowing, kids playing while you labor.
12. Birth gets to be treated with the sacredness it deserves
13. no one yells at you to push/don't push
14. familiar smells, familiar surroundings
15. anyone you want in attendance
16. At home, your baby is not required to spend the night in a separate room away from your room.
17. At home, you can have your pets in the room with you!
18. at home no one will assault you perineum with an episiotomy rendering you sex-less for 6 weeks
19. Nobody will tell you, with a straight face, to "Get Some Rest" while at the same time coming in and waking you up every 2-4 hours to take your temp and BP ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!!!!!!!
20. Every time your husband uses his favorite towel you can remember your 10-minute old baby wrapped in it.
21. For that matter, while you are preparing the punch for your baby's first birthday party, you can remember when it held his placenta!
22. You can kick people out your home at will...
23. No nurses around to give your baby a bottle to "see if she will suck"
24. You know where the good food is kept
25. Your towels are big enough to go around a pregnant woman
26. Your pillows are way better
27. No one bled, vomited, pooped or peed on the bed or floor where you will give birth (unless you are related!)
28. There is no financial incentive at home for "saving" you from a birth "complication"
29. The only stranger you'll see is the postperson bringing baby fluffymail
30. you, and your relationship with your baby, will be treated with respect
31. No one will take off with your baby a few minutes after birth to do "tests" and "observations"
32. You can have your midwife stay right next to you through a 40-hour ordeal, instead of one who just stops in every hour to stick her arm inside you!
33. You can lock your bedroom door where you are laboring to keep people out.
34. You can have as many people in the room as you want, no policy you have to follow.
35. When you shower you actually have soap to do it with.
36. You don't have to share your room pp with a complete stranger and their baby.
37. At a homebirth your child will not be given a Hepatitis B shot against your wishes while you're too out-of-it to notice until it's too late.
38. At a homebirth your midwife will not harass you about circumcision.
39. At a homebirth no one will offer you a birth control shot 2 hours ppm
40.you don't have to get in a car to go home newly postpartum and it hurts to sit
41. No nosocomial infections
42. you can poop and pee on the home throne
43. You can make out with your partner during labor if you feel like it.
44. You don't need to feel uninhibited about nipple or clitoral stimulation.
45. You won't have to go through any red tape to get "permission" to labor/birth in water.
46. You can choose who gets to be around you and your baby -- and pick only people who you can depend on for the utmost respect.
47. You don't have to worry about a hungover resident puking on you during a vaginal exam.
48. You don't have to worry about some misogynistic of a resident hurting you during a vaginal exam because he's pissed about having been woken up and called in.
49. You don't have to do any vaginal exams at all unless you want to!
50. You don't have to have permission to push
51. Nobody will check to make sure you're legs still work. (A nurse did this hours after my unmedicated hospital birth)
52. If you want to take a walk around the neighborhood, you won't have to worry about scaring the other laboring women
53. You can cook, dance, paint, read, sing, garden, play on the net and phone all your friends in labour.
54. Your partner has to clean up your poo and you can remind them about it for years and years and years and years....
55. When someone asks where you're having the baby you only have to point.
56. You can sleep forever in the bed you laboured or birthed in and it's the same bed you conceived in.
57. Your other children can play in the birth pool with you
58: You do not have to share a room with someone who has an endless parade of visitors, when all you want to do is sleep.
59: You do not have to shuffle past said visitors to get to the bathroom after having given birth a few hours prior. (Meaning you get all the privacy you want!)
60: You can be alone with your baby in the dark if you want. (Yes, this was the rule at the hospital I birthed #1 at.)
61: Your husband can run out for takeout at your favorite place around the corner.
62. Big comfy recliner for nursing.
63: No nurses who dislike the CNM who delivers your babe in the hospital and make disparaging remarks about her before she gets there.
64: No IV with continuous fluids to make you all swollen after the birth.
65: You can return to MDC the next morning
66. You don't have to fake that you're not pushing so you can "accidentally" birth your baby in the water.
67. (My personal favorite from my last birth) You get to sandwich your sweet cuddly newborn between dh & yourself in your very own bed so you can all go to sleep - only an hour after her birth - with candles lit all night so you'll have just enough light for those first night nursings, and you gaze at her through that light in awe and beauty and peace. I'll NEVER forget that.
68. walking up and down your rural driveway at 2am, squatting with each contraction, being followed by your cats and dog each lap, and finally "pop" water breaks while squatting in the grass! knowing the entire cove is sleeping!
69. kneeling on the bed, facing the wall, using the headboard for leverage while pushing.
70. delivering a beautiful, baby girl in the bed she was concieved in and the bed her grandma was born in 63 years before. it's dd bed now!
71. having dh gush how beautiful, radiant, and confident you looked the entire time (not the cornered hospital look)
72. The midwives told me they wouldn't take it personally if I wanted to yell and scream at them.
73. You won't be hounded to vaccinate your minutes-old baby for a disease that is spread through IV drug use or sex
74. delivering on the toilet if desired
75. being able to burn my fertility candle next to me, in my own hot bath, in a dark locked room ~ where i felt completely safe and unhindered
76. having my partner catch our daughter!! what a great experience!
77. no stench of hospital chemicals around us
78. no exams
79. no PRESSURE
80. nobody telling me to shut up when i vocalized
81. You won't be used as a teaching tool without your permission
82. Your birth attendants are under the employ of no one but YOU ... not a medical group, not a hospital
83. You get to keep your placenta, bury it under a tree , cook it and eat it, whatever..... without having to go through great amounts of red tape to get the hospital to release your "biomedical waste" back to you
84. ut the "routines" they follow are just that instead of going case by case

to this i add:

85. having your toddler offer you her favorite security device by running across the hall
86. knowing you will be home to greet your school aged children when they get home from school.
87. having your toddler sit in bed and stroke your hair to help ease you through contractions

[my5girls]

With my first delivery, I had a "precipitous" labor, which was under 2 hours start to finish. They had these lovely medical students come in to see my delivery, which consisted of one mild push, because my labor was "unusual". The med students standing there wide-eyed watching this...same with my second delivery. I had to share a post-partum room with DD #3 and DD #4 was born in a birthing center attached by a hospital; that was pretty nice...

Anyway, here's my list:

1. No med students watching your "unusual" labor and delivery (fast or otherwise);

2. No nurses doubting that it's time for me to deliver "even if" I'm a first-time mom only laboring for 15 minutes in their care...when she FINALLY looked, DD #1 was crowning!!!!

3. No sharing a bathroom with another post-partum woman (stranger) and her stupid DH who SHOWERED in our bathroom. YUCK! :Puke

4. No nurse trying to shove an IV in your arm, change you into a hospital gown and ask you when contractions started AS YOUR BABY IS CROWNING! :

Despite those issues, I WAS lucky enough to have hospitals where my babies stayed with me all the time, I got them right away, etc. I was also able to deliver in any position I wanted, not lying down. However, I'll see what I want to do in the future; home birth is sounding very very wonderful!

[wendy1221]

With my first, I had a very fast labor. I was only 2 when I got to the hospital, but I was pushing 2 hours later. There weren't any med students, but I think every single friggin nurse on the floor came in and checked my cervix b/c they were all amazed at how fast I was progressing.

Then w/ my 2nd, I got to the hospital and they refused to call my doc, insisting I was in early labor as I had only been having contrax for 1 hour. I completely flipped out and insisted they call her! Then I realized no one had checked me, so that's why they didn't believe me (plus I took Bradley and was breathing deeply with my eyes shut through my contrax) and they said it was because my birth plan said I didn't want any unnecessary cervical checks. I yelled at them at that point that of course they could check me once, just not every 10 f'ing minutes like they'd done w/ my first. And my dh chimed in that he was sure I had started transition in the car. I was at 9. And my labor stalled. Still contracting, no dialation. I'm sure it was from all the stress. I ended up w/ an epidural after being at 9, still contracting like transition, for 4 or 5 hours.

I have this to add to the list:

92. no one will insist you're in early labor when you've CLEARY been in transition for the last 20 minutes!

93. No one will feed you only food that you're allergic to, because you probably won't have any in your house. (I am allergic to milk, eggs, and tomatoes. I didn't get one single meal I could eat at the 2nd hospital I gave birth in. I usually ate the fruit and everything else had something I was allergic to in it. The first hospital brought me a list of food I could choose from, and it was a big list. I REALLY hate the hospital in this town! It has absolutely no redeeming qualities other than it's closeby!)

94. My dh will not be treated like an insignificant post whose opinions don't matter at home. He is my partner in every way. I never knew a true partnership like this existed. It makes me cry to think about it. He is very quiet and softspoken. Absolutely the sweetest most nurturing man I've ever met. And SO supportive. But in the hospital they ignored him until he yelled at them. It takes a lot for my dh to yell and he's off balance for hours or days. That was not fair to him. Btw, he is SO excited about our upcoming homebirth. I think he read more info on homebirth than I have and he thinks everyone should do it. LOL! Maybe he can talk my BIL into it. My sister wants a homebirth so bad!

[cottonwood]

Have these been mentioned?:

Much more unlikely that someone will threaten to call CPS if you decline a procedure.

No fear of teetering on the edge of a high, hard, narrow hospital bed with your feet in stirrups!

And... no fluorescent lights! (A big one for me)

[WinterBaby]

Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds

And... no fluorescent lights! (A big one for me)

and I thought I was a freak for having an issue with them... at least I'm not the only one