How to "make" dd pick up her toys?

[chel]

How do I get dd to help clean up her toys? She's great about somethings, putting away dirty dishes, dirty clothes, washing windows, mirrors, scrubbing floors, etc. Putting away her toys (dolls, crayons, paper-coloring, cutting scraps) is a huge issue for us. I have it set up that all she has to do is throw the stuff into bins. Ideally I'd like everything picked up before DH comes home. dd loves to sit in a huge pile of stuff. I'm trying the "only get one thing out at a time" but the second I turn my back a million things get out.

[Makaismama]

Clean Up

Have you ever heard the Clean up song. It works well with my son who is 23 months. it goes like this .... Clean up clean up everybody everywhere clean up clean up everybody do there share. We repeat it in a fun way until the job is done. it has worked so far. Good luck!! :

[mommyofshmoo]

My dd is much younger, but I had a few thoughts.

Firstly- whatever you do, I would try to get her involved with deciding it. Let her know the issues- you want the house to look nice for daddy and for your evening as a family. Help her understand how that would make you and dh feel. Ask her to help you decide how to get that done.

Some ideas to suggest if she can't generate any of her own....

Maybe she'd have an easier time if things were more organized and each thing had more of it's own "place." I tried doing the bins thing for a while, but my dd didn't get it. My dd does better when we have very organized drawers that things go back into very specifically.

On the other hand, if your dd is more of a messy person who enjoys the choas, maybe negotiate with her an area of the house that can be as messy as she likes- like maybe her room. Decide together that the "common areas" need to be put away by evening, but allow some space for her stuff to "be free."

Maybe your dd could decide on 1 or two toys and projects that stay out even after the cleaning.

Or maybe she would rather that you do the putting away and she could wipe the tables, or vaccum or sweep or whatever.

I do think that the best thing would be to ask your dd to generate the ideas first, though. People tend to get more behind a plan that they helped create.

[oceanbaby]

nak

messy toys only come out once the other messy toy is picked up

talk about responsibility that comes with having toys and in being a part of the household

if they don't get picked up, they get put away for awhile

[2much2luv]

Why is it that they don't want to clean up their toys? I have similar issues with my 3 and almost 5 year olds.
Have you tried taking toys away yet? I have been known to throw everything on the floor into a big ol bag and shove it into the closet for a long while. They actually didn't miss the stuff so it didn't reallyw ork, but it may work for yours.
Could you trade chores with her? I'm sorry I didn't see how old she was, but my kids love to do anything but clean up their own room, so I'll let them sweep and mop the kitchen/scrub the bathtub/etc. . . and I 'll clean their room sometimes. If she's little maybe you could let her dust or something while you clean up her mess. Then the mess gets cleaned, by you, but at least she's learning some give and take.
Really the only thing that works to get my dds to clean up the toys is if I get in there and do it with them.

[chel]

thanks for all the replies. I've tried the I help, but it turns into an I do all while she makes the mess even bigger. DH tried the pack up all the toys, dd doesn't miss them and is more than happy to get into my stuff, she can find something to play with no matter where she is. I have some serious OCD in my family and have 2 that are off the charts hoarders. dd is just like that. It's an "all trash is sacred" attitude. dd can be so creative with "junk" and just loves to have it piled high around her. dd really has the least amount of clothes, toys etc of anybody I know to help us both on this issue.

[tinaq]

I've noticed making it a game sometimes helps w/ my almost 4 yo. Setting the timer & racing the timer or if I pick up 3 toys, then you pick up 4.

HTH,
Tina

[kyliew]

I have spots for every toy that lives in this house. My DD (3.3) has shelves in her room for puzzles/games and they are to be strictly packed up once she's finished with them. In the loungeroom there are shelves for toys, and 2 toy boxes. 1 for dolls and one for misc stuff - this area is the "toy corner"

At the end of the day before bed, it's my DD's special job to clean up the toy corner and because it's a special job, she loves doing it. If a puzzle/game isn't packed up in her room when she's finished with it, then she gets a reminder and then if it's not packed up I put it away where she can't have it. Then later on when she can tell me WHY she should have it back, it's hers. (She never forgets!)

Anyway, this is working really well for us, we never have toys laying around.

[sunnmama]

I second the suggestion to make a game out of it. Challenge her, race her, etc.

Consider that she has too many toys available. Maybe rotate the toys, so that they are less out to make a huge mess each day. My 4 yo plays so creatively with the toys she has available, and it would be limiting to insist that she put one thing away before getting another out.

Also, maybe it is time to reconsider this power struggle. We have a similar situation here (dd helps out with lots of household chores, but does not consistently clean up her toys). The way I see it, she is helping to clean up lots of *my* messes, so what is the big deal if I clean up hers? The message in our family is "we all contribute, we all help each other". So I clean up her toys when they bug me (cause they sure don't bug her!), and she helps out with lots of other little jobs. No biggie!

[captain crunchy]

I second the suggestion to make a game out of it. Challenge her, race her, etc.

Consider that she has too many toys available. Maybe rotate the toys, so that they are less out to make a huge mess each day. My 4 yo plays so creatively with the toys she has available, and it would be limiting to insist that she put one thing away before getting another out.

Also, maybe it is time to reconsider this power struggle. We have a similar situation here (dd helps out with lots of household chores, but does not consistently clean up her toys). The way I see it, she is helping to clean up lots of *my* messes, so what is the big deal if I clean up hers? The message in our family is "we all contribute, we all help each other". So I clean up her toys when they bug me (cause they sure don't bug her!), and she helps out with lots of other little jobs. No biggie!
__________________________

(emphasis mine)

I couldn't have said it better! The whole thing was good, but the bold is what sticks to me too! I totally agree!

[lifetapestry]

In our house, we do Montessori (clean up one thing before other thing comes out), but this only applies to toys/artwork/etc that he can't get to by himself, or things that we play with in our kitchen corner where the kidsize table gets quickly over run.

In his playroom, where everything's on shelves, I will ask him to pick up his toys one time "with me." If he doesn't do it, I go do something else and he continues doing whatever he wants. When he finds me a short time later to ask for something (to paint, have a snack, whatever), I say "yes, after we've finished picking up the playroom." Now that this has been implemented for well over a year, that's what we do (and it takes maybe 3-4 minutes). I feel that this teaches him cooperation (we talk a lot about cooperation rather than "good" behavior)-- he also knows what compromise means. No power struggles, it's totally his choice-- he can either choose to live without painting on the easel or he can spend 3 minutes picking up his toys first.

I reserve taking toys away for throwing them, otherwise disrespecting them, etc. I can't remember the last time I had to do this.

Karla

[mommyofshmoo]

So am I the only one who thinks it's a good idea to ask your kids to try to come up with solutions?

Even my 2.5 year old can sometimes come up with solutions to problems. It's not rocket science.

[sunnmama]

No, mommyofschmoo, you are not the only one. I think it's a great idea! And it works really well a bunch of the time here, too.

[UnschoolnMa]

Originally Posted by sunnmama

Also, maybe it is time to reconsider this power struggle. We have a similar situation here (dd helps out with lots of household chores, but does not consistently clean up her toys). The way I see it, she is helping to clean up lots of *my* messes, so what is the big deal if I clean up hers? The message in our family is "we all contribute, we all help each other". So I clean up her toys when they bug me (cause they sure don't bug her!), and she helps out with lots of other little jobs. No biggie!

[rubysmomjess]

Originally Posted by Makaismama

Have you ever heard the Clean up song. It works well with my son who is 23 months. it goes like this .... Clean up clean up everybody everywhere clean up clean up everybody do there share. We repeat it in a fun way until the job is done. it has worked so far. Good luck!! :

We sing this song!!!

This has worked for us, too. Dd1 will now sing it to herself while picking up her toys. And the other night at a frineds house she was singing and cleaning up with out being asked. I think you make it a habit (making it fun helps too) and the power struggle ends.

Ohh and I like the idea of everyone helping cleanup everyone else's messes (wonder if this will work with my dh too ).

[mamamillie]

I agree w sunnmama; the mess bothers you, so it is your problem...
I deal w this as my ds loves to help but does not clear away his toys. He says "I want to live in a mess." I don't, so I clear away. Cleaning up messes is definitely a big part of a mama's job. If we model doing it joyfully then they will be more likely to want to join in. If they know cleaning messes is a drag (from our modelling), then they will not be interested. I like to ask ds for his help, and if he is agreeable, then try to make it into a fun game. If he doesn't want to help, then okay. I almost always put on a fun record when I go to clear the mess, because it sets an upbeat mood and reminds me to do the task w joy. I definitely wouldn't want to make such an elemental part of our living together into an adversarial thing!
Because he says he "wants to live in a mess," I am inclined to leae his room alone. But when it gets so bad that he is basically unable to play in there, or it is bothering me badly, I will ask him if he wants me to clean his room. ANd I give him the gift of a clean organized space. He is usually very glad to be able to play freely in there again.
Good luck!