It was just the logical choice for us I suppose. We knew for sure that one of us would stay home, or maybe we'd work a part time job each so one of us was always with him or something. We also plan to homeschool which affects the plans we make regarding ds. I never had any kind of career or calling or anything, just a series of crappy min. wage jobs in retail. Dh is a software engineer, and those corporations tend to have decent insurance policies and things like that that are important to us. Like unlimited sick time, so if I'm the one who's sick he can call out and it's ok.
We also knew I'd be nursing for at least a year or so, and figured that it would be much easier if ds simply had access to me most of hte time instead of worrying about bottles and pumps and finding time to pump on my shift on the salesfloor.
Now that ds is older the nursing could be worked around pretty easily, but my husband loves what he does. He's been writing code since he was 7 and is really good at it. I've seen him learn new programming languages literally overnight, more than once. While he is a great parent and loves his time with ds, he would not want to give up the fulfilment he gats from the challenge of his work. And I've found that while I'm not hte greatest housekeeper ever, or a gourmet chef, I love what I do. I have more patience for having a toddler up my butt all day :LOL and care more about taking care of our home. I like trying new recipes and having our 16 month old hold the dustpan when I sweep, even if it takes twice as much time and effort to actually ge tht estuff to the trashcan without landing back on the floor.
So I guess at the beginning our genders played a role in the decision, since I was the one lactating. But htis arrangement suits our personalities better. I like being home and having a slower pace to the day, don't mind doing hte same thing over and over and over and over.....(diaper changes, handwashing, vacuuming, etc..) and dh is better at being on the go more, new clients, new challenges, just generally a faster pace.
I hope I've answered the question in my rambling paragraphs