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Why are you the SAHP... - Page 3

post #41 of 128
If I were to work full time in my chosen profession (teaching), I would make less than half of what DH makes. That makes it a pretty clear choice.

Plus, he'd go crazy because he can't lactate.
post #42 of 128
Lol, my DH would looooove to be a SAHD, although now he admits it's not as glamorous as he thought it would be (being a SAHP). Basically, I am the SAHP, b/c my DH makes more than double what I would make if I were working FT, and his job is also IMO easier (I get stressed out physically and emotionally from my job). Also, as someone else pointed out, I'm the one who BFs the baby. I guess I could pump, but I've never been able to pump very much, so I don't know if that would have worked out or not.
post #43 of 128
DH has much higher earning potential and i am nursing and can multi-task, he can't.
post #44 of 128
I'm the SAHP because I don't cope well with the world outside our home. Social situations either force me into complete and total withdrawal, or put me in a manic state that requires major psychiatric treatment. I've worked when I had to - when dh lost his job (Nov - Feb) - but I'm still dealing with repercussions from that.

It's just easier on our family for me to be home.
post #45 of 128
I feel that it is ideal for babies to have constant physical contact with their mother and breastfeed on demand. After that I don't feel it makes as much of a difference which parent stays with them. I still think it's important though that it is a parent or a really close relative/friend of the family that will always be a part of their life.

My youngest is 20 mo. and still very much needs me and nurses on demand. We homeschool. Now, after three kids it is just making more sense for me to continue because dh has a steady job and (though I made more money than him before we had kids) he makes more than I could now. When my babe is a little older I'd like to do something very part time while dh watches the kids. I'd still consider myself a SAHM though.

Oh, not to toot my own horn but I do think I'm better for the job because I'm more patient and I have more experience/education WRT to children and child development. That doesn't mean dh isn't a wonderful father and great with the kids....he is...I just techinically am more qualified for the job (resume-wise :LOL).
post #46 of 128
Hi, I'm new here and am excited about finding more about SAHP.

Dh and I have talked about this, and when our first arrives in Aug., I will be a SAHM beyond mat. leave for a couple of reasons:

1. Dh's salary is a double-digit multiple of what mine is (!) - not only does it make sense financially, but he makes more $ than me for a reason: he works looooong hours. If we choose to both work and put buggle in daycare (a decision I've been struggling with, so thank you mamas, for previous threads on the value of SAHMs!), we'd still have to contend with the house becoming a mess, neighbours calling the city bylaw cops on us b/c we'd never get around to mowing our grass, never paying bills on time b/c we'd never have time to open the mail, etc. :LOL

2. I'm more anal rententive. If dh stayed home, he would try his best, really, but I can organize the home - and make it more comfortable - more efficienty and effectively than he can. I say you use each partner's strengths to your family's best advantage.

3. Whenever I talk to mammas, the ones who tell me that they wish they could "afford" to stay home with their children rather than work will often have this wistful look on their faces that resonates with me more. When I'm 80 years old, I doubt I'll look back on my life and wish that I had worked more - I see myself wishing I had spent more time with family, more time exploring the outdoors, etc.
post #47 of 128

Very complicated answer

I was a SAH wife before I even became pregnant. I had worked in the past, even earning more than my husband before we were married; well, and even some years after. When we moved overseas, I didn't have a work visa and became a "leisure wife," just playing in the sun and entertaining guests.

When we returned to the States, I was pregnant, my husband had a job; and, frankly, I never liked any of my jobs and couldn't imaging spending a second away from my daughter to work for someone else. Besides, I had the breasts and wanted to breastfeed exclusively, on demand for the first year.

Now that my daughter is nearly 4 years old, I do work one night a week at the local art cinema house. I do this to have time to interact with people, get a free meal, and to get free movies and interact with adults. My boss loves to introduce me as "Dr." but I find that embarrassing because, really, I'm just a SAHM now.

My husband wanted to stay home and still would like to, but it just didn't work out that way.
post #48 of 128
My husband and I had no trouble agreeing that one of us should stay home, and deciding that it should be me wasn't a big deal, though I made it into a bigger one than it needed to be!

I wanted to stay home, and couldn't imagine that he didn't want to, so it took him a while to convince me that he'd never imagined a life that didn't involve working outside the home every day, and that's what felt right to him.

We were making about the same amount of money, and we both had good career prospects, so that wasn't a significant factor.
post #49 of 128
When I was in college I changed my major 15 times because I couldn't figure out what I "wanted to be". Finally, on winter break with my son, I realized that the only thing I ever wanted to be was a SAHM.
post #50 of 128
I've always wanted to be a sahm. It worked out well for us because dh makes way more than I do and I think it's just easier since I'm nursing. I applaud women who woh and pump. I HATE pumping.
post #51 of 128
We've worked it out different ways along the way. Money has never been a major issue, which is probably why we've never had much of it. I knew I wanted to be with my son the first year and breastfeed on demand. But I started working from home about 10 hours per week when my son was 3 months. Then as our baby got older, it got harder to put in my hours, so dh worked 4 days per week and gave me 1 day to work. Then I went back to finish graduate school full-time and dh was SAHD. This was hard because ds would never take a bottle and was one of those kids who hardly eats. DH was bringing him to me to nurse, and our days were long and stressful. Now I have been SAHM for almost two years (although I did part-time consultant work from home for about 6 months before my youngest was born). I go through phases about how much I like being a SAHM, but I know its the best thing for my kids. DH is a great parent and a great SAHD, but just doesn't enjoy it as much as I do, or invest as much in it. I love being with my kids and it is hard to leave them, but I miss meaningful out-of-home work. DH is now working half-time and building a home business the other half. So next week I will start working 2 afternoons per week. DH will be available for this kids while I'm at work, but we're also working out some child care swaps to give us a little more time to get things done. We're hoping this will work out well.
post #52 of 128
Because I wanted to be.

When I had my first son (and before) I said I would work. Then I looked into his eyes and said no way. I went back to work for a month and trained people to do my job then left. My ex was military. I divorced him and moved in with what is now my mil and dh. I worked and went to school. I knew from after my first marriage there was no way I would marry someone that would not support me in being a sahm.

Until I looked into my first child's eyes I never new I could love so much.

Until I looked into my first child did I understand how easy it was to give up everything for someone else.
post #53 of 128
Because I believe that babies have a strong need to be with their mothers and I happen to be the mother.

For a couple of years after my DH and I married I was the primary income provider and he worked on his PhD. Right about the time my DH finished his coursework and moved into the dissertation stage we realized that arrangement wasn't meeting my son's needs and I decided to let DH take the lead in the next job search.

At this point my DH is earning more than I was so it also makes financial sense for him to be working full-time.

I still work a bit (WAHM with web based business) but my DD's needs trump my need to work.

--Kari
post #54 of 128
I lactate.

I enjoy it.

My mom did and I felt the need to be the one to do so also.

We decided together prior to marriage that I would, that he knew he wouldn't want to, and wanted to be the working partner.

I didn't like the work I was doing, wasn't being paid my worth.

Wanted to gain more education and figured I will do it while I am home with kids and then return to workforce in a position I truly enjoy.
post #55 of 128
In no particular order:

1. Dh has 5x the earning potential I do.
2. I LOATHE working for someone else.
3. We felt that it was important that one of us stay home w/ the kids.
4. I LOVE taking care of my family & my home.
5. We will be homeschooling.
post #56 of 128
#1 breastfeeding (like everyone else)
#2 i love being a full time mommy

though my income potential is hire, my husband is not blessed with ability to nurse. besides, i've always wanted to be a SAH. i do some contract work on the side to help out financially.
post #57 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by yummy-mummy
Whenever I talk to mammas, the ones who tell me that they wish they could "afford" to stay home with their children rather than work will often have this wistful look on their faces that resonates with me more. When I'm 80 years old, I doubt I'll look back on my life and wish that I had worked more - I see myself wishing I had spent more time with family, more time exploring the outdoors, etc.
:
post #58 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by weebitty2
I'm the SAHP because I don't cope well with the world outside our home. Social situations either force me into complete and total withdrawal, or put me in a manic state that requires major psychiatric treatment. I've worked when I had to - when dh lost his job (Nov - Feb) - but I'm still dealing with repercussions from that.

It's just easier on our family for me to be home.
That sounds like me, too.
post #59 of 128
when i was working it wasn't worth it kwim..........hubby's pay right now doubles what I was making LOL
post #60 of 128
Because if I worked and DH stayed home, I would bring in about 1/15th of what DH brings in.

That, and because it's been a dream of mine all my life.
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