Ds got squeezed today...and the other boy got slapped :(

[Cutie Patootie]

We were in Macy's this evening shopping and this little boy who looked a little youger than my ds...21 months...ran up and sqeezed his neck and cheeks very aggressively with both hands. Thankfully, dh was standing right behind ds and pulled him back and lightly pushed the other child the other way or it would have really hurt him. Ds looked so confused. Anyway, the mother ran up apologizing profusely and then promptly hit the little one's hand a few times...saying "no, no, no" while dragging him off. I was so concerned with ds that I didn't really focus on the mother. I wish I had said something, but all I managed to get out was, : "He is just little, it happens". : Why didn't I say something else about her hitting him. Ugh! I don't even know what I could have said, but it could have been something at least to make her think. Also, the grandmother continued to apologize over and over again...and I just said, "it's okay, it's okay"...but it wasn't okay, it is never okay to squeeze and pinch someone even if it was another little one. I don't want ds to think it was okay for someone to pinch and squeeze him ever. What should I have said instead for ds to hear? Does ds think his mama and daddy think it is okay now for someone to hurt him? Or am I just a hormonal basketcase because I am 9 months pregnant? : And why do parents think it is alright to hit their precious babies?!

[Cutie Patootie]

59 views and not one comment...
anyone?

[farmer mama]

I think you did a fine job. What could you have said to her that would have changed her disicipline techniques? If you ever figure it out let me know because I have been in the same situation and not known what to say. Your dh stepped in and stopped it, and that probably meant a lot to your ds as far as whether or not it was okay.

[Red Sonja]

Originally Posted by farmer mama

Your dh stepped in and stopped it, and that probably meant a lot to your ds as far as whether or not it was okay.

ITA.
to you and your DS, and to the other little boy!

[PuppyFluffer]

It's so hard to see another child hit! I have not had this situation come up with our dd but when it happens, I think after I make sure my child is ok, I will explain to her that, in our family, we don't hit and hurt each other. I will try to explain that I feel sad for the little child that was hit. Basically, I want to convey that I am concerned that my own child is safe and ok and that my concern extends to another child too.

[CB73]

I agree with PP....just check in with my own child if he is not hurt, and about what is okay/not okay in our family, and express some sadness for the other child.

About others hitting their kids? Maybe it is partially the pg hormone thing, but I feel like weeping on the spot whenever I see such things in the streets. Even just rudness and what *I* see as irresponsible parenting...makes me so, so sad.

[Cutie Patootie]

Thanks mamas.

Originally Posted by CB73

About others hitting their kids? Maybe it is partially the pg hormone thing, but I feel like weeping on the spot whenever I see such things in the streets. Even just rudness and what *I* see as irresponsible parenting...makes me so, so sad.

This is exactly how I feel. Every little act of disrespect and unkindness I see to children sends me weeping like a fool.

[dziejen]

I'm glad your son is ok and I am sad too for that little boy. It is hard when they are young and don't understand and you are right, these things do happen. Unfortunately by hitting him they are certainly not showing him not to hurt others You did the right thing, especially not expecting someone to run up and do that to your son. I imagine it all happened quickly and was quite a shock. Unfortunately another mom I know uses physical punishments (hand slapping among them -- nothing overly violent but certainly not ok in our family) and her dd was always the most physically agressive child

[KnitterMama]

ita w the pps...also on the "what to say" front, i might say something like "it is never ok to hit a child" and probably follow it up with "violence does not prevent violence" or something to that effect. i bring up these short retorts b/c i know it is difficult when you're in the moment to come up w/ an eloquent response to that kind of behavior, and also it is not always necessary to avoid being blunt especially in a situation like this imho.