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OMG!! What has DH Done!!!???

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
Dh just got home from "running errands" and this is what he came home with:
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y67/gaiamom/buster.jpg

I dont know whether to strangle him or hug him. I know he's trying SOOOO hard to cheer me up because of Tate, but good lord, I just dont think i'm ready.....its only been 2 freakin days!!! Give me a break man, can you just let me be sad and get over it before doing something like this!!?? :

I feel bad for being such a bitch and now i've hurt his feelings really bad But i'm just not ready. Am i being silly? I cant even look at this dog with out feeling bad and i'm not even sure why. I dont even want to mess with it right now. I know i'm being awful....I just want Tate back

Am i being stupid or should i just try to put on my happy face and love this poor ugly dog?
post #2 of 47
OMG!!!!!
Buster is adorable!!!!!

I do understand how you feel....Perhaps Buster can help you grieve? Don't worry about putting on a happy face...no one will think ill of you...

Your feelings for Tate absolutely are important and matter...He should have talked to you...but since he didn't...go hug on that squishy little face and cry into him. I think he'll let you.
post #3 of 47
Thread Starter 
A part of me really does want to do that, but mostly i would just feel like a traitor if i did. I know that sounds so dumb. Maybe its because i didnt get a say in it, or get to pick him out.....i just dont feel that closeness with him like you do when you see an animal and fall in love with it and want it with all your heart. I dont feel that at all...it just feels like someone elses dog
post #4 of 47
I know that it's only been 2 days...and your heart will hurt for Tate for a long time to come...but from what I've seen of you...you have so much more room in your heart for another puppy face...you know? And I think that Tate felt that love from you that night...and he might want you to love someone else who may need it...you're not a traitor...and it doesn't sound dumb.

And just because you haven't fallen in love with Buster right away...isn't a bad thing. It's ok...and you're not a bad person. Don't think of him has "taking Tate's place" that's impossible...think of him more as a shoulder to cry on...
post #5 of 47
Oh Honey, He is ADORABLE. Think of it this way. Men's way of solving problems is to fix them. He thinks this is a fix. He was REALLY just trying hard to make you happy and No Buster won't take Tate's place, but it will ease your soul to have his fur to cry into.
post #6 of 47
He's a really sweet looking pup and I'm sure your hubby got him with the best of intentions. Not to hurry you through your grief, but to try and help. Most guys have the need to fix problems, not just listen to them. I'm sorry about your doggie, it's so hard to lose a part of your family
post #7 of 47
aww, miss gaiamom, I don't know you but I'm so sorry for your loss. Tate had such a lovely air about him. I agree, two days is too soon. But alas, what's done is done. There must be a reason Buster is with you. He wouldn't have come at any other time.

Maybe we can think of a story about Buster that would help you love him.
Let's see.

Buster was born not so long ago, along with 1 brother and 2 sisters, in a back alley behind a dumpster. His mom was homeless, having been "set free" when her family moved into an apartment where they couldn't keep her. The family of dogs was found by a little boy who was scared to death of dogs. The little boy for some reason fell in love with Buster - he was the smallest of the bunch - and tried to convince his mom to keep him, but they didn't have a yard and didn't want him to have to be an indoor dog. So off to the pound they all went.

Buster watched as all his siblings, and his mom, went off to new families. The other dogs in the pound told him that if he didn't find a home soon, he was going to have to stay there forever. Buster couldn't imagine living in a cage for the rest of his life!

Buster slept a lot in the pound. He kept having this dream that there was a little grey dog, telling him there was a home out there for him and it would find him soon. When your DH walked into the pound, Buster's heart just leapt into his mouth, because he knew this was going to be his home! He looked up, and waited, and his eyes met your DH's...

He'll be patient, until you can find the room in your heart for him. Cause he knows this is the home where he's meant to help.
-danielle (who gets a little carried away sometimes)
post #8 of 47
I'm going against the grain with this one.

He's a really sweet pup, I that face, but I agree that it's too soon. Parvo is very contagious and your house is contaminated. 3-6 months MINIMUM for the virus to die off. From my humane society contact, she is saying all of your floors should be bleached. Any furniture that Tate touched should be sanitized in some way. If nothing else, you should take this puppy to the vet IMMEDIATELY and have it vaccinated. Tell the vet that he has been exposed. The virus does not die for a long time, it lingers up to 6 months.
post #9 of 47
I think that was increadably sweet of your dh Gotta love a guy is thoughful

I think that a dog who looks like that will win a person heart.

We got a dog after I mc, helped a lot IMO to help me keep my mind busy.
post #10 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoAida
I'm going against the grain with this one.

He's a really sweet pup, I that face, but I agree that it's too soon. I would worry about the parvo virus being in your home still, and this puppy contracting it. 3-6 months MINIMUM for the virus to die off. From my humane society contact, she is saying all of your floors should be bleached. Any furniture that Tate touched should be sanitized in some way. If nothing else, you should take this puppy to the vet IMMEDIATELY and have it vaccinated. Tell the vet that he has been exposed. The virus does not die for a long time, it lingers up to 6 months.

I second that...
post #11 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoAida
I'm going against the grain with this one.

He's a really sweet pup, I that face, but I agree that it's too soon. I would worry about the parvo virus being in your home still, and this puppy contracting it. 3-6 months MINIMUM for the virus to die off. From my humane society contact, she is saying all of your floors should be bleached. Any furniture that Tate touched should be sanitized in some way. If nothing else, you should take this puppy to the vet IMMEDIATELY and have it vaccinated. Tell the vet that he has been exposed. The virus does not die for a long time, it lingers up to 6 months.
: :

Parvo lingers.
post #12 of 47
Quote:
Am i being silly?
well, kinda
your DH is trying to cheer you up
It's a really sweet gesture & I'd love it if my DH did that
Well, he has brought home kitties he's saved thru his work
I've lost a pet & got another PRONTO & a few times not.

Don't hold the fact that YOU did not pick him hold you from getting close. He'll grow on you

Buster is a sweetie & he needs a great home - YOURS. He's not meant to replace Tate - just an addition

Quote:
Buster slept a lot in the pound. He kept having this dream that there was a little grey dog, telling him there was a home out there for him and it would find him soon. When your DH walked into the pound, Buster's heart just leapt into his mouth, because he knew this was going to be his home! He looked up, and waited, and his eyes met your DH's...
by troymama

OMG - : that is so SWEET : :

How can you not love this story
Bravo Danielle

Gaiamom - please don't be mad -
why, would you take Buster back? I think you would not...
the parvo only lives so long ... - just sanitize everything well where Tate was... Ask your Vet what you need to do in regards to Tate's presence in the home...
I've had 8 dogs (4 mine & 4 rescues) in semi close proximity with little or no problem.

Unlike others - WHO can say if it's too soon. If you think it is then you will have the validation with those that think it is. If you don't you will see the other side (like me) that think it can be a good thing.

Since Tate's passing was tramatic for your family, this may be what YOUR faimly needs to re-coop.
in the end, it's your heart that can open to this poochie
I think he's a cutie-pie
post #13 of 47
Also, I really *do* think pets do better in a home when the person who belongs to them picks them out. I think when we "fall in love with" or "click" with a pet it has to do with intuitive signals that their personality is a good fit, and I think the human-pet relationship is much smoother with a good fit.

I would be pretty pissed at DH if he brought me home an animal, no matter how cute it was, as if it were a box of chocolates or a bouquet to cheer me up. KWIM? It goes completely against how I feel about animals.

This is probably a really difficult spot to be in, gaiamom I hope you figure out what you're going to do, and I'm so sorry about Tate.
post #14 of 47
Just to make sure you see it. Please get this dog vaxed IMMEDIATELY! Read my post above.
post #15 of 47
Oh mama. He is so cute. I know how hard it is to loose a dog. I had to put my great big mastiff to sleep a month before dd was born. And he had been with us for 2.5 years. When we were done saying our goodbyes to my big bear the vet told us about a dog that needed a home. I freaked out saying that it was too soon to get another dog, how could she even mention something like that. You know what...to this day, we still havent gotten another dog. I wish we would have as our other dog would be so much happier with a companion. And possibly that is how you will feel soon too. I know it is soon, but this might be for the best. Make sure you take this sweet pup tp the vet for parvo shots etc. Keep a close eye on him. You will grow to love him too

darkstar
post #16 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlndocs
I would be pretty pissed at DH if he brought me home an animal, no matter how cute it was, as if it were a box of chocolates or a bouquet to cheer me up. KWIM? It goes completely against how I feel about animals.
Same here.
post #17 of 47
Ohhhh. so sorry for your loss- hug your dh- and do not worry about hugging the dog right now if it does not feel right- he will wait for you to come around....
WOW...
I hope it works out for you- and buster is really cute- what eyes?
He is not there to replace your dog tate- he is there to be buster- and there will always be room for Tate in your heart.
Hugs go out to you mama....
Emilie
post #18 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoAida
I'm going against the grain with this one.

He's a really sweet pup, I that face, but I agree that it's too soon. I would worry about the parvo virus being in your home still, and this puppy contracting it. 3-6 months MINIMUM for the virus to die off. From my humane society contact, she is saying all of your floors should be bleached. Any furniture that Tate touched should be sanitized in some way. If nothing else, you should take this puppy to the vet IMMEDIATELY and have it vaccinated. Tell the vet that he has been exposed. The virus does not die for a long time, it lingers up to 6 months.
Well, I thought about this too, since we do have another dog Dixie. She has been vaccinated but our vet suggested we bleach or throw away EVERYTHING! I'm an anti-bleach fanatic, but still went out and bleached all the floors in my house (we have painted concrete which made this easy) and threw away every towel, blanket, prefold Tate laid on....which is so sad. I also took the clothes we wore while tate was here and put them in the garage after I washed them, just in case. I know this pup wont be in the garage, but my vet suggested we do this and keep them there until 2 weeks after buster's last set of shots. Dh also made sure he got a healthy pup, he's been with his mother for the last 9 weeks, shots, dewormed, and all vet records with a clean bill of health, not around any other animals but his mom, dad, brothers and sisters. He got him from a girl who wanted a new boxer pup so bred her 2, kept 1, and sold the rest. He said everything was really clean and he was kept in good conditions (in her house). Still I know he's not clear till after his last set of shots, but please rest assure, I'm going above and beyond as far as taking precautions....I'll be damned if I go through that again.




Danielle.....can you hand me a tissue please...that was so sweet :
post #19 of 47
gaiamom, I'm sorry if it seemed like I jumped on you, I wasn't meaning to.

It just worried me a whole lot thinking that you might have to go through it again. I'm glad you are getting it all taken care of. Hopefully, Buster will not contract it. Some people just don't know how contagious parvo can be, I'm glad you have talked to your vet. All the best to you.
post #20 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlndocs
I would be pretty pissed at DH if he brought me home an animal, no matter how cute it was, as if it were a box of chocolates or a bouquet to cheer me up. KWIM? It goes completely against how I feel about animals.
.
oh NOT ME... I would totally LOVE my DH for trying to make myself & my home feel better... how kind even tho it might be a little irrational but what A KIND GESTURE...
we are such animal lovers here & you'd be surprised over how much you can bond with a dog you don't know
Anyway, being pissed is not gonna solve anything at this point, right.

Take the gesture for what is was intended for You have one sweet guy there - sure he maybe should have waited or talked to you but he did what he thought would help you in the NOW

take our Rescue Foster dogs - each was so different. I did not hand pick these dogs - they came from kill shelters from all over the U.S. - all I saw was a photo.
They were so loving & we fell in love with EACH dog (about 12 total we fostered)
We did not have in-person dealing with any of these fosters.
The love that grew between my family the the fosted dogs was enormous...
I still keep in contact with each & every dog we fostered that was adopted
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