Blogs and privacy......

[fourgrtkidos]

My teen blogs on Xanga. He asked me not to read his posts. I had been. I was not passing judgement, he was not getting in trouble for anything he said in the blogs..... I just liked reading them. Yes, because I am a nosey momma who wants to know EVERYTHING about my 13.5 year olds life. He is growing up, not talking about as much to me and I just want to see what kind of guy he is away from mom and home, KWIM?

I would never have opened a dairy. But, this is published on line for
god(desses) sake. It did not seem like snooping to me.

Does anyone else read their kids' blogs???

[Dar]

Rain has a livejournal and a xanga. Actually, she has two or three livejournals and a deadjournal, too, but she mainly posts in her one livejournal and her xanga. Her livejournal is Friends Only, which means you have to be logged in to read it and be on her Friends list. Her xanga, which is newer, is public.

I did read her livejournal once, when she forgot to log out. I wish I hadn't, even though it was interesting. It was an invasion of her privacy, and she found out and was mad about it, and rightly so. A blog should be just as private as a paper diary, IMO.

I have a xanga, too. For a while I didn't want her reading it, but since we both had xangas and had some of the same subscribers it was hard... so then I decided to not put her on my subscribers list and just make anything I didn't want her to see private...

I think everyone should have a place for their private thoughts, although as a mom it's hard not to look!

Dar

[fourgrtkidos]

yes, now that he has said so, it will be private and I will not read it. when it was publically published I did not see the problem.

[UnschoolnMa]

I read both my kids' blogs but only because it is okay with them. My son doesn't update his hardly at all these days because he is too busy with his online community/RPG's.

[fourgrtkidos]

I think it is uncool for me to read it in his opinion because he is living a very grand sort of alternate life on line..... it is sort of a larger than life personality he has created.

is that healthy?

[PancakeGoddess]

which is he on? My son just downloaded the software for an online community called There - do you know anything about that? I looked at it, and it seems fun. http://www.there.com/index.html selfishly/protectively, I wish he'd stick with the mega-moderated Neopets, though.

[willowsmom]

I think that as long as the online journal is public...it's public. Period. If, however, they ask you not to...or it's friends only...well...then no. Although I would be VERY curious and nosy

My journals are all public. I'm pretty much an open book anyway. If my mom ever figured out how to use a computer and managed to read my journals..GREAT...saves me from having to talk to her...

[PajamaMama]

I'd read it. I wouldn't be able to resist. :

I'd keep it a secret though.

[PikkuMyy]

Well, when I was a teen (I'm 27 now) there weren't any blogs - not like there are today. However, one time I asked my mother not to read something and she did anyway. Later on, she let some comment slip that made me know she had read it even though she said she wouldn't. There went my trust in her! And she still hasn't gained it back.

Just a warning...

[sunnysideup]

It would be hard for me to resist reading it. Mostly because I think my kids are so cool--I'm interested in anything they have to say! But, if they did not want me to read it I wouldn't, and even if it was a public blog I would understand. I think that often it is easier to throw anything out for a stranger to read--who cares what they think , but kids want parental approval. The thought of a parent (or anyone whose opinion you value) reading what you wrote could stifle the creativity.

[fourgrtkidos]

Originally Posted by momoffour

It would be hard for me to resist reading it. Mostly because I think my kids are so cool--I'm interested in anything they have to say! But, if they did not want me to read it I wouldn't, and even if it was a public blog I would understand. I think that often it is easier to throw anything out for a stranger to read--who cares what they think , but kids want parental approval. The thought of a parent (or anyone whose opinion you value) reading what you wrote could stifle the creativity.

exactly.

I am not reading it anymore. I just love him so much and want to know everything about him..... but I guess that is what growing up is about, moving a little away from momma.

[cresorchid]

I personally find live journals to be a bad idea. I can't tell you many ADULTS I know who have gotten into "trouble" with friends and others because of what they have put up on these sites.

Journaling ought to be private in my opinion. It's a way of getting things down on paper that have been bothering you or keeping a record of personal matters. Most of the time we write in our journals or diaries because we don't (yet) feel comfortable sharing some of that information with others. Which is why it can be risky emotionally to put things on a live journal.

Of course, some blogs and live journals are simply to update people on what is happening without having to e-mail a dozen people. I think it depends on the purpose of the journal/blog.

All the same, I don't read others' live journals. I know some friends who have live journals and that is their choice. But I can say pretty easily that since I wouldn't read a friends live journal even if told it was ok, I wouldn't read my child's live journal either. Even when people allow me to read their journals, the fact that it is a journal makes it feel like an invasion of privacy to me.

[PancakeGoddess]

Originally Posted by cresorchid

I personally find live journals to be a bad idea. I can't tell you many ADULTS I know who have gotten into "trouble" with friends and others because of what they have put up on these sites.

yea, you know, i never really understood that. I keep a blog that is more of a homeschooling record and grandparent-updater. I don't enter private thoughts or things that i think my kids might not like having made public.

[willowsmom]

If people don't realize how public online journals really are...then they deserve to "get in trouble". It doesn't take a genius to figure out that your thoughts and words may "get into the wrong hands." My journals are public...because I don't have anything in them that I wouldn't say to someone's face. I don't care of someone reads my private thoughts...because there are times when I can't find the words vocally about how I'm feeling. The people who read my journal, be it friends or family, KNOW where I'm coming from...because I don't make any bones about saying how I feel, WHEN I'm feeling it.

[willowsmom]

Originally Posted by PikkuMyy

Well, when I was a teen (I'm 27 now) there weren't any blogs - not like there are today. However, one time I asked my mother not to read something and she did anyway. Later on, she let some comment slip that made me know she had read it even though she said she wouldn't. There went my trust in her! And she still hasn't gained it back.

Just a warning...

My mom did that too....and STILL brings things up (I'm also 27)....we don't have much of a relationship.

[UnschoolnMa]

My blog is public and everything I put there is what I don't mind the public reading. If I bitched about something there then it's how I really feel, etc. Many have that public/private option for diff entries too I think.

[emomama]

my mom used to pry into my diary when i was a teenager. fast forward to the present: once when i checked my xanga site at her house, she dug through her history to find the address and was reading without telling me... not that i minded her reading, but she was still sneaking around just like she did when i was a kid and when she read something she didn't like, instead of calling me to talk about it, she tattled to my dad who tried to discipline me via email like i was still a teenager they needed to parent. really irked me.

if my mom had come to me when i was a kid and told me she'd been in my diaries because she was concerned about me being in trouble or that she just missed having good communication with me, i think i would have understood, or at least i know i would have understood now that i have kids of my own. but instead when confronted about it, she told me it was her right to read anything that was in *her* house, etc. and the fact that she still hasn't grown out of that really bothers me. ah well.

so, kudos to you mama for respecting your son's wishes. although, i'll admit, if i ever thought something was seriously wrong with one of my kids and they weren't telling me, in their best interest, i would definitely pry and not feel a whit of guilt about it. i respect their privacy, but until they're out of the house, i'm still responsible for their health and well-being.

i think everything *feels* larger than life when you're a teen so it would make sense that he would write that way. i don't think it's unhealthy. all that journaling is probably great practice for writing skills too!

[NiteNicole]

Originally Posted by benjalo

which is he on? My son just downloaded the software for an online community called There - do you know anything about that? I looked at it, and it seems fun. http://www.there.com/index.html selfishly/protectively, I wish he'd stick with the mega-moderated Neopets, though.

I have a friend who is very wrapped up in There right now. I had no idea they allowed younger people - it seems mostly about hooking up. There even seems to be a virtual sex industry element that people are using to make real US$. I'm not sure exactly how big an element this is, but I thought It was worth mentioning.

[PancakeGoddess]

ick. thanks... he played around with the trial for about a half hour and said it wasn't for him. I don't know if he clued into the hooking up... I'll have to feel around a little. Either way, he's back to neopets :-)