Graduation gift for ds's girlfriend?

[doctorjen]

I really need help on this one. Ds has had a steady girlfriend for 3 years now. He is 16, and a junior, she is 17 (will be 18 in July) and a senior. She is graduating in 3 weeks. I hate to admit, but we have not gotten along well over the time of their relationship. A lot of this does not have much to do with the girl herself, but more with issues we've had with ds involving dishonesty. Her parents have encouraged them to have a more serious relationship than I have been very comfortable with, especially back in the beginning when he was just 13 years old. In general I get along great with his friends, except this girl. In fairness to her, I haven't been overwhelmingly friendly to her, but she hasn't really ever showed any interest in getting to know our family, either.
Anyway, they are reaching an age where more and more I feel his relationships are his own business, but the girlfriend is not crazy about dh and I from past issues, and we have a rather distant relationship.
Nevertheless, she is graduating highschool, and it seems rude to ignore that, so I'm trying to think of an appropriate gift. Anybody have any brilliant ideas?

[Unreal]

hmm...when I was that age...hmmmm..
tickets to a concert (although that has the potential to be weird...you buy her tickets and she doesn't take your ds....you have no recourse, they were her gradutation gift, ya know?)
gift card to a store like target or one of those you can use at any store in the mall things...but that is kind of bland...

What is she into? Does she read? Is she into music? Sports?
Is she going to college in the fall?
What was one thing you had wished you had had when you left for college your freshman year (besides a never-ending, bottomless pit ATM card...man that would have been awesome!!!)
I think for me, target gift cards and calling cards would have been the most valuable. But I went to school halfway across the country from home....it would have been different if I had stayed local.

I'll keep pondering (and stop babbling..... )

[TiredX2]

I'm not sure how this would work for you, but I would get her a nice card & take her & DS (and DP) out to a nice "adults" only dinner. If you haven't done this before it would be a nice thing to show her that you acknowledge her as an adult *AND* you anknowledge the seriousness of her relationship w/DS.

[umbrella]

Wow, I think both of those are neat ideas.

Concert tickets would be neat.

Also a welcoming dinner would be a really nice gesture (although, it may be uncomfortable). Considering she was 14 when the relationship has started, I would most defnintely put the responsibility for your distance on the grown-ups. A young person wouldn't really know what to do other than follow your lead. Expecting her to have been better than you is a bit much.

Of course, the old stanby grad gift is money.

[darkstar]

What about a gift certificate for dinner at a nice restarurant. Or a "spa" certificate, like manicure, pedicure, facial etc.

Concert tickets would be cool, or a gift card. Lets see when I graduated from High School my BF's parents gave me $$. Which was nice, but it was spent right away.
Good Luck

darkstar

[doctorjen]

Sigh. I think maybe a gift certificate to a restaurant? Or to like the container store for college stuff?
As for what her interests are - mostly my son! This is one of my big beefs (which although I'm venting about here, I do not gripe to ds about this) about their relationship. From the time she met ds, her life has pretty much revolved around him. She dropped out of the school activities she was in, and pretty much goes to all his stuff, calls him every night, and hangs with his friends.
I know I could definitely have been more welcoming to her along the way, but it was pretty hard, especially when they were so young to be very encouraging of this relationship. Her parents, on the other hand, have always strongly encouraged this relationship, and her mother especially seems to think that having her life revolve around some boy is wonderful. They think my ds is "so good for her" and her self-esteem, whereas I want my daughters to develop self esteem about their own selves, without needing some guy to validate them.
She is going away to college next year. I have high hopes she'll develop some of her own interests, and either decide she's outgrown the high school relationship - or grow enough that they can have a more adult relationship. Does that make any sense?

[shelbean91]

You could get a gift certificate to the college bookstore- or something from her new school- tshirt, whatever. Or a nice photo frame with a picture of her and your ds. Even going away, at first, she will think about him all the time, most likely.

I understand wanting to have her keep her own life- I got into a few big fights w/my high school boyfriend when he wanted to keep me revolving around him instead of doing my own thing. We ended up dating 2 1/2 years altogether and I broke it off when he went to college- I wanted more freedom, he wanted more togetherness.