Brooke Shields/PPD on Oprah - Page 3

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by lemon

I think she can only be writing the book to help educate. Or for her own therapy. If she was just interested in airing her dirty laundry for cash, she would have written many a tell-all by now.

As for the formula issue. I noticed that she took care to stress the breastfeeding aspect of her relationship with her daughter in the interview. That it was the one thing that kept her physically involved with her daughter during her most difficult PPD days, and that it was during breastfeeting that she began, eventually, to bond.

Really, I wonder if she didn't take the formula job to help perpetuate the great mom/perfect baby image she thought she needed to show to the world. Not that she would think formula made a great mom, but for those camera images of mom & baby radiant together.

When the first ad came out, it was something like "When I couldn't provide my baby the best, I did the next best thing" -- it wasn't those words exactly but it was something like that, and there was some comment by her that she was unable to breastfeed (no reason as to why) They ads in the book then showed how Brightbeginnings formula was better made that other formulas, providing more nutrients, and that baby's had an easier time digesting it. In the big scheme of things, they werent nearly as bad as stuff I have seen with other formula companies. I always saw the ads, while supporting a formula company, that Brooke was saying this was her second best option. And for her, it looks like it was.

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by lemon

Yes. This is an interesting point. On the one hand, I am sure that some celebs give lip service to natural birth because they think it is a more virtuous thing to claim to want. On the other hand, I imagine that the pressure of "expert" advice is heightened for a celebrity who can afford the "best" practitioners and is encircled with assistants, etc. reinforcing any medical advice she is given.

There are plenty of celebrity women who have natural births, and have them at home. Pam Anderson, Ricki Lake, Travoltas wife, and there are many many more. I know that Kate Winslet (sp) lied about having a natural birth when she had really had a csection because she was so ashamed of having had one and failed in that aspect. I don't think celebrities are much different than ourselves -- in fact, as I said I could relate to what Brooke said. I had built all these expectations into my birth, being a mother and into my baby that when it all fell apart, so did I.

Kim

[wasabi]

Originally Posted by OnTheFence

When the first ad came out, it was something like "When I couldn't provide my baby the best, I did the next best thing" -- it wasn't those words exactly but it was something like that, and there was some comment by her that she was unable to breastfeed (no reason as to why) They ads in the book then showed how Brightbeginnings formula was better made that other formulas, providing more nutrients, and that baby's had an easier time digesting it. In the big scheme of things, they werent nearly as bad as stuff I have seen with other formula companies. I always saw the ads, while supporting a formula company, that Brooke was saying this was her second best option. And for her, it looks like it was.

See this isn't how I recall those ads at all. What I remember is how bright and chirpy they were. I remember them being along the lines of "when it was time to switch to formula I had no idea what to choose. [said to the baby as she played with her]Mommy was stupid." I haveto admit I'm a little skeptical about this whole thing. I remember her doing tons of press after her baby was born and for months afterwards. She talked all the time about how great things were going and her BFing and babywearing etc. I remember thinking how wonderful it was that she was putting out this great AP image in the public eye. Then she started shilling for formula which was far more disappointing than if she hadn't previously been talking about BFing being great. I remember the wording of the ads I read and heard about made it seem it was time to switch which I felt could leave people with the misconception that after 6 months or so you have to switch. It certainly didn't say anything about next best that was only in the fine print at the bottom. Now I totally agree it's her choice to not risk taking a drug while BFing. I have no quarrel with her over that. But you don't have to get a job promoting formula. Likewise you can talk about your struggle with PPD without writing a book first and talking about PPD to promote it. I guess I feel like "wow this is a very different version than you told me previously. Which one is true and is it a coincidence that you haven't done much recently?" It just makes me wonder?

Is it that bad to imagine bad things happening to your baby? Not doing them just imagining them?

[EllasMama]

I was really glad to see Brooke Shields on TV talking about PPD. More people are finally starting to know more about PPD and depression in general, but every little bit of spotlight on it is helpful. And for women to think, "look, she's rich and beautiful and smart and it still happened to her" - I think that is good. Depression isn't something you can outsmart or pay your way out of.

I haven't seen the formula ads but I will admit that I used to be a militant breastfeeding advocate. I was so militant that I couldn't admit it would be in my best interest to wean my child for nearly a year, starting when DD was 19 months old. One day I was fretting over this and my therapist told me she'd weaned her kids around age 2. I felt as if someone had finally given me "permission" to fall short of the breastfeeding ideal I'd set for myself. I've needed permission to fall short of many ideals, unfortunately. I wanted to be THE PERFECT MOM. I was...am...far from it, and those expectations have caused a lot of pain for me, just like they did for Brooke Shields. Back to my militancy, I have a good friend who had natural childbirths, worked with LC's, pumped for months, and even took meds to stimulate lactation, but was never able to breastfeed either of her 2 kids. Once upon a time I really didn't believe that there were more than 2-3 women on the planet who actually couldn't nurse...they were just too stupid or lazy or something. Well, my friend is none of those things but truly couldn't nurse. She cried when she had to buy formula and mourns the fact that breastfeeding didn't work for her. So I now have a very different view about breastfeeding than I once did.

Carol

[leosmama20]

I am sickened at some of the posts in this thread. Sickened and saddened. Sigh.

[bethwl]

Just wanted to let people know that there is a book excerpt in People magazine right now. The med that she ended up on was Paxil. It also appears from the excerpt that she did not hire a baby nurse until she had been seriously depressed for a while. There's a picture in the magazine of her holding her daughter a few months after the birth and her eyes are totally vacant; it's quite sad.

I didn't feel that immediate bond. I didn't feel dislike and I was happy, but it was almost like "who are you? You're my what??" After a 25-hour labor, three hours pushing, and having her vacuumed out with an episiotomy (grrr), I was lying on the bed, sore from the stitches and she was lying next to me and I said to my mom "It doesn't really seem like she's my daughter." Which I think freaked my mom out. Then when she was a few weeks old, my mother actually told me "I think you love your cats more than you love Annika," which was insanly ridiculous. Some people may have trouble letting themselves be so vulnerable at first around other people by showing how much they love their infants. It's almost a scary type of love, because it is intense and yet this is a person you don't even really know yet. I know I didn't gush over my daughter and coo at her IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. I was much more expressive in private, and eventually, the bond grew and now I am much less inhibited in front of other people. But that's my personality, I am quite reserved and sometimes afraid to show emotion when around others. For me, this got taken as a lack of love, because of the expectation of the bubbly, gushing mom. With that expectation, experiencing a crushing depression is crippling. I've had several major bouts of depression and was very vigilant in watching for it during and after pregnancy. I went on Zoloft at 6 weeks pospartum as a preventive measure and upped my dose at 3 days postpartum when I was crying hysterically for hours. Luckily, it didn't become a full-blown depression. But I know what it's like without an infant, it must be even worse at this already stressful time. And as someone said, it takes courage to describe these feelings, because people who do not understand depression may take you for a monster.

[guest9969]

Originally Posted by bethwl

I didn't feel that immediate bond. I didn't feel dislike and I was happy, but it was almost like "who are you? You're my what??"

:

I had so many miscarriages that I don't think I ever thought I was actually getting a baby. When ds sped into the world all I could think was, "Really? I have a kid?"

[wasabi]

In case it wasn't clear I am skeptical about Brooke Shields who I don't personally know but has basically lived her entire life in the spotlight. I am questioning in this particular case whether it's not possible that she is using this to make money. Sorry I do believe it's at least possible in this day and age of celebrity seeking.

[Doulaamber]

Is it that bad to imagine bad things happening to your baby? Not doing them just imagining them?

YES! I can't believe that a mama would even ask that question .

It it not fun to see images of your child dying. It is hard to sleep when you have dreams of your child being burried. It is haunting. It is freighting. And quite honestly, it can be a thin line to seeing those things happening and see yourself doing those things.

From what I have read, she signed contracts to do those commercials BEFORE the baby was born. Once you are in those contracts, it's not easy to get out of them.

Which one is true and is it a coincidence that you haven't done much recently?"

Do you think she made all that up? Maybe she wrote the book so that more women would know they aren't alone! Maybe she wrote the book for healing. Maybe she did write it for money. But really, I don't care. PPD is being talked about on TV. TONS of women saw that show yesterday and don't feel so alone now, like me. TONS of women saw that show and now have a name for what they are going through, and can get help. What can be bad about that?????

[Red Fern]

Why is it that sometimes mothers judge each other so harshly?

Is it because they just dont feel confident themselves so instead of focusing on their own imperfections they just belittle those who dont do things exactly like them?
Maybe if we just started supporting one another more regardless of parenting choices there wouldnt be this intense need to hide feelings instead of seeking out some kind of support system.
The way I see it motherhood should also be a sisterhood, not an insane competition. And maybe our kids will be happier for it as well.
Bravo Brooke.

[DaryLLL]

Just wanted to let people know that there is a book excerpt in People magazine right now. The med that she ended up on was Paxil.

from kellymom.com

Paxil has low blood plasma levels in the mother, and a low transfer rate to human milk. It was undetected in the blood plasma of 7 of 8 breastfed infants in one study, all 16 of the infants in a second study, and all 24 of the infants in a third study.

[ChasingPeace]

Yeah, I read that about Paxil on kellymom.com, too. Nevertheless, my MW was vehemently against its use while bf-ing. She was of the opinion that there was not enough data on it, and she would not prescribe it except as a last resort, when nothing else had worked. I researched it as well, and was uncomfortable with it, too. Fortunately, as I said earlier, Zoloft worked for me, so I never had to try anything else. Other women might decide they are comfortable with it, and I respect their decision to take it and continue bf-ing or stop bf-ing. It's similar to deciding whether to vaccinate your children--we must decide what's best for our child's health and circumstances. I don't see how its helpful, however, to judge women when they exercise their own decisions about what's best for their health and the health of their babies.

[UUMom]

Didn't see Oprah, never saw her formula commercial, didn't know Brooke even had a baby, but I have shocked/amazed/not the least bit surprised at all the hatred focused on this one woman. Why does our culture believe being famous, rich and beautiful dissallows one from also being human? I think the attitude expressed about her using this to get back in the publuc eye, since she's been out of the mainstream for a few months, is especially cruel. Um, she had a baby and had post partum depression... Crikey. If I was gonna make something up to get back in limelight in our short- attention span culture, I wouldn't fabricate a story to the whole nasty world that I had thoughts of killing my baby.

[loving-my-babies]

I watched the show. (sorry for intruding, lol, I dont usually post in PPD but I saw this post and wanted to butt in) and she said she did breastfeed. She didn't say how long, though. And while I was watching, in the back of my head was always the fact that she did those formula commercials. But you know, maybe she doesn't see formula as a bad thing? I know tons of moms that DO breastfeed and think it is best, but see formula as a good thing. (not me, ofcourse)

Her story was heartbreaking. I can't wait to read her book. I think it takes guts to come out and talk about this. I tivo'd this show (well, ok, I tivo Oprah automatically everyday ) and I watched it a second time because it was so profound.

She also said she was going to TTC now. Does that mean, that she will have PPD again? (just curious, don't know much about PPD)

[SaraC]

I don't normally post here but I did watch Oprah and was pretty amazed at how candid and honest Brooke was about her feelings and experience. I cannot believe that some mothers would want to condem her for FF later on(if that is what she did--she never came right out and said that) if that was what was best for her and her family. I mean would you rather her continute to BF and not seek help for fear of not being able to find a med compatable with BF, sink farther down that road of depression, and eventually end up harming herself or her baby? Of course not! I would hope that one would want her to find out what helps her out of this depression, even if that means she has to stop BF. She was, IMO, very pro-breastfeeling, even going as far as saying that for her next pregnancy she will have a plan for the end of her pregnancy and post partum period that includes meds that are safe for breastfeeding.

As far as her feelings of not feeling an immediate bond, I can relate to that as well. I had a very traumatic homebirth transport with DD #1 and I didn't see or hold her for over 24 hours after her birth. At the time I felt immense guilt over trying for a homebirth, failing, and then anger at the staff after finding out that they had lied to me about my DD. When I finally did get to hold her I felt like maybe she wansn't mine. In my rational mind I knew she looked just like my family but my hurt, traumatized mind I didn't really know if she was mine. Plus breastfeeding was not going well and I didn't really feel bonded to her. It was only once we got breastfeeding down at about 8 weeks that I felt truly connected to her and was able to let my guard down. I never felt as Brooke did with her not even wanting her baby to live with them, but I can understand the irrational feelings one might have if they have had a truamatic birth.

I just think that Brooke did an amazing thing by telling her story. I think it sends the message to other moms that this can be a problem, that it can get serious, that even celebrites suffer from this and you don't have to suffer through dark times alone.

[DaryLLL]

Originally Posted by loving-my-babies

She also said she was going to TTC now. Does that mean, that she will have PPD again? (just curious, don't know much about PPD)

In the article that I posted, which I see is no longer available, it said that she has a 50% higher chance of getting it again.

I hope she is getting counseling to deal with the grief over her friend's 1999 suicide (which was still apparently not processed in 2003) and her father's death. I hope she can conceive and have a VBAC!

Now if we were talking about Britney or Paris I wouldn't give a crap, but Brooke seems like a decent person somehow.

[joesmom]

Originally Posted by Red Fern

Why is it that sometimes mothers judge each other so harshly?

Is it because they just dont feel confident themselves so instead of focusing on their own imperfections they just belittle those who dont do things exactly like them?
Maybe if we just started supporting one another more regardless of parenting choices there wouldnt be this intense need to hide feelings instead of seeking out some kind of support system.
The way I see it motherhood should also be a sisterhood, not an insane competition. And maybe our kids will be happier for it as well.
Bravo Brooke.

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by wasabi

In case it wasn't clear I am skeptical about Brooke Shields who I don't personally know but has basically lived her entire life in the spotlight. I am questioning in this particular case whether it's not possible that she is using this to make money. Sorry I do believe it's at least possible in this day and age of celebrity seeking.

Sorry, not sure I would expose myself for any amount of money if I was a celebrity in that way.

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by DaryLLL

In the article that I posted, which I see is no longer available, it said that she has a 50% higher chance of getting it again.

I hope she is getting counseling to deal with the grief over her friend's 1999 suicide (which was still apparently not processed in 2003) and her father's death. I hope she can conceive and have a VBAC!

Now if we were talking about Britney or Paris I wouldn't give a crap, but Brooke seems like a decent person somehow.

She is planning a repeat csection. She gave her reasons as to why. Which I cuold totally relate too. Not sure if she is evena VBAC candidate based on the problems she had with her uterus during delivery and her csection - I don't know enough about herniated uteri to say one way or the other.

[wasabi]

Originally Posted by OnTheFence

Sorry, not sure I would expose myself for any amount of money if I was a celebrity in that way.

You may not but there are a ridiculous amount of celebs who would. Good lord what won't they talk about or sell the rights to? When I can watch Carnie Wilson's bypass on tv, countless celebs have reality tv shows and most celebs sell their baby's first picture it's not at all hard for me to imagine someone would sell a tell-all book that admits to some rought stuff. I didn't see the Oprah show or read Brooke's book. I'm just saying she was out and about a lot when her baby was very young talking about how great it all was. Now she says she was barely functional. That seems a bit contradictory to me and this is someone who has been in the spotlight (and in my opinion was exploited as a child in the spotlight) all her life. I can believe her childhood experiences with exposure would make her more likely to expose herself. I mean what was Anne Heche's tell all about if not attention/money seeking. It is hardly the first time a celeb has admitted to somewhat shocking behavior in a book. Celebs expose themselves all the time so it doesn't seem all that reprehensible to at least question the timing of her coming clean about it in countless interviews at the same time as her book is being published but not before that.

Quote:
Is it that bad to imagine bad things happening to your baby? Not doing them just imagining them?

YES! I can't believe that a mama would even ask that question.

Interesting that I'm judgemental for questioning whether or not she is using a situation to make money but this isn't a judgemental comment? Nice. If it wasn't clear I wasn't asking if it was that bad to imagine doing bad things to your child. I meant being unable to avoid seeing all the bad things that could happen to your baby. Like I was nervous about carrying her over concrete because what if I dropped her and she was terribly injured. I was scared to go down the stairs in our house carrying her for the same reason. I was unable to keep the possibility of horrific accidents out of my mind none of it involved doing harm to my child. Clearly I would think that fantasizing about harming your child would be something to seek help for I guess I assumed that being overworried about things that were unlikely to happen was somewhat normal and that was what I was asking about. But thanks for telling me I'm horrible that's definitely why I came to this forum.