Quote rang true for me

[zaftigmama]

Hello. I recently read a quote and I can't remember where. Could have been here at MDC, Mothering Magazine, Brain, Child - I have no idea. It could have been on the Penn and Teller Bullshit show actually. But I read (or heard) a statement saying that once you see an infant that is intact, all circumcised penises look wrong. That is so true for me.

My nephews are circ'ed, and when I worked at a daycare, I think every boy in our class was circ'ed - it definitely seemed normal. The majority of men I have known were circ'ed as well, I never really thought about the procedure or reasons for it (other than it was expected for religious reasons if I had a son).

My son is intact and in my playgroup more than 50% of the boys are intact - such a pleasant surprise! Having seen my son's penis countless times during baths or diaper changes, it does look normal - that doesn't surprise me. What does surprise me is the shock I feel when I change the diaper of a friends baby who is circumcised, or my nephews diapers. It really surprises me every time.

I had so many comments from ignorant people about how ugly my son's penis would be if I left him intact and how 'icky' (nice clinical term) foreskins are. I wish all moms-to-be could see how normal an intact penis is, and how un-scary foreskins are.

That's another reason hospital circumcisions get done I'm sure - the babies are so new. If you had to wait a month or 6 weeks, I bet not nearly as many parents would bring their babies back into the hospital. It wouldn't seem necessary. The doctors are aware they have to mutilate them when they are brand new, or they'll more than likely lose their chance.

There's just so much ignorance and denial about this issue - it's so distressing. Seeing and hearing from more and more mamas who are leaving their babies intact is such a blessing!

Take care,

[njeb]

Unfortunately, for me that's only true for babies and small children. Adult intact penises still look strange to me because my dh is circ'ed.
I attend a Pagan festival in the summer which is clothes-optional. All the men I've seen there have been circ'ed except for one. Fortunately, almost all the babies and toddlers are intact!

[Quirky]

Andie, I couldn't agree more. My last resort circ argument is "at least wait until he's old enough for general anesthesia." I figure by that point (6 months?) it will be a non-issue because they'll be so used to the sight of their son's normal penis.

[Patchfire]

I just had this experience last week at the park, when another mother was changing her one year old. I happened to look over, and freaked out for a split second - 'omgosh, part of his penis is missing!' - and then realised 'omgosh, it's because he's circ'd and Jacob's not!' Talk about an eye-opener! Dh is circ'd, but it's hard for me to compare a tiny baby and an adult, so the difference between ds and this boy at the park was more immediately obvious to me. Shockingly so...

[susienjay]

Shortly after my son was born I was watching a friend's 2 yo boy who was circed. I had changed this boy's diaper before but this was the first time changing it since I had my son. I was so upset after doing one diaper change that I made my dh do the next 2 changes. It just looked so incredibly wrong. When my son was first born it did look a bit different to me but it only took a week or two to get used to it.

I really wish they would make parents wait at least a couple weeks if they want a circ done. Most parents haven't had much chance to bond with the baby before it is even done and if they had to take the baby back into the doctor and be there for the circ they wouldn't do it. I also think a lot of parents just let the nurses do the diaper changes so they never get more than a glimpse or two at their son's penis before it is circed. I know I've talked to parents that said they didn't change a single diaper in the hospital.

[jessjgh1]

Very true, circed penises now look unnatural to me- it is jarring and disturbing.

We delayed the decision (on circ'ing) because breastfeeding was problematic. I can totally see that some mothers may not really 'see' what a natural penis looks like before the surgery is done. I don't feel that I really looked and I spent 2 1/2 days at the hospital

First, I was so exhausted, it didn't occur to me to look. Second, his hormones caused his scrotom to be very swollen (which is normal) and that was more eyecatching than his penis. Also, we had not decided what we were going to do so I think I was afraid to look. My dh got the first diaper lesson (thanks to the nurses, I think they try hard to get dads to do that- ), my mom also whisked ds away whenever he needed a change, too.

When I finally realized that I really hadn't looked, I made it a point to look and see what the fuss was all about :LOL Of course, he looked perfectly normal to me. I think it resolved me to fight harder to keep him intact.

I really have not seen that many naked kiddo's. So when I do see a circumcised baby, it is always a real shock.

Jessica

[wendy1221]

I agree w/ you. When I was in college, I worked at a child development center (they weren't a daycare or a preschool. It was run by 3 mamas who got their early childhood degrees in the late 60s and they were AWESOME!). I remember being in the dorms and looking at porn type stuff (not movies or anything, but like a deck of cards, etc) and discussing how gross the intact men's penises looked.

I got pregnant w/ my first when I was still in school and working there. Well, after changing a few diapers there and asking questions, I started to really wonder about circumcision. The circ'd penises truly did not look right to me after the first few times changing diapers. Most of the boys were intact. The ones that weren't were all Jewish except for 1. Then I took the Bradley Method (and I'm so grateful for the one mama there for telling me to take Bradley and for all 3 of them for being so supportive and helpful to me during that hard time). And of course you get a lot of anti-circ education there, at least at the one I went to. My refusal to have my ds circ'd was one of the things his dad tried to say was my fault for why we eventually split up. Whatever. He was a jerk, that's why we split up. But I'll tell ya, he fought tooth and nail to have my baby circ'd and everyone at that hospital just looked at him disdainfully. Their circ rate was less than 10% and they really seemed to frown upon it. In fact, the first ped we saw told the jerk he'd have a hard time finding a doc to do it if he ever got me to agree and that since we weren't married, *I* was the one who got to make the decisions about the baby. Ha! LOL!

[utahandy]

so true the first time I saw a penis was at 13. I was babysitting an intact baby boy. Mom said make sure you don't pull back his forskin when you cange him. "Ok" I said (I had no idea what a forskin was). I remember stairing at him when I changed his diaper and thinking now what am I not soposed to pull back. It all just looked like one peice nothing to pull back. I put a diaper back on hopping I haden't pulled this mythical forskin back.

Any way a few months later my sister had a baby that she cut. I saw her changing his diaper and yelled across the room whats wrong with his poor penis. My sister getting defensive of course said nothing his circ. just isn't healed yet. Me " his what isn't healed". her "circ. it has to be done to keep the penis clean. In all my 13 Y/O wisdom I said well I've seen a penis that wasn't circed. and it looks alot cleaner than that. And then walked away. Later of course I had to explain to my Mom when I had seen any other penis.

Next time I babysat I admitted to Bev I had had no idea what a forskin was But I didn't think I'd pulled it back. Then asked her about circ. She was so nice about explaining it all to me gave me her reasons for leaving her boy how he was born ect... Anyway that was when I decided if I ever had a son he'd be intact too. I've always thought circed penises looked so naked and sad.

I'm almost ashamed to admit that lookes is the main reason I decided agenst circing. I didn't do any of my own reserch on it till 3 or 4 years after Ds was born. I am glad I left him alone though.

[A&A]

I think that was a quote on Penn and Teller.