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Sugar-Free or Trying-to-be? It's May! - Page 11

post #201 of 202
i had eating disorders all thru my teens (did not eat anything for years)
early adult just ate like crazy for a year
then moved my obsessions into eating only organics and got a better balance
then pregnancy just made me sugar crazy
and then up till recetnly, like i said it was my coping with not having a life outside of dd and her needs (really no life at all)

i come from a family of drug addicts, alcoholics, and diabetics, and over eaters/emotional eaters.....(there is some genetic connection between these issues and sugar issues)

so i have a lot of genetic and observed behaviors to work thru....

plus i am small (like 5.1 feet tall) and so i can't gain any weight and still look ok, b/c i have no where to put....

liek today i ate 2 sandwihces for lunch (humus adn sprouts on live grain bread) but i was full after the first one...the other one was just b/c it tasted so good.....
but i had worked for hrs in the garden (tilling my hand) and i just wanted to eat it. even though i felt like i did not "need" it hunger wise

that is what has also been confusing, sometimes i have not been hungry but felt like i just needed more nutrtion....maybe i am just exp'ing a new cleaner version of hunger? i am still breastfeeding and since i am dairy and sugar free, sometimes i just feel like i need fat...so i eat nuts, and spread garlic infused olive oil on bread!

and for me: i take it one day at a time
but someday
when i am really clean and ok
i want to eat a brownie (or at least a bite of one)

but if i even entertain that thought a little too much then i inch closer to convincing myself that that day is today!

and then i am eating sugar 24/7 before i can blink my eyes
post #202 of 202
June thread:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...72#post3217772
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