Was your mom a SAHM and how does she feel about you being a SAHM? - Page 3

[annethcz]

My mom was a SAHM, and she completely supports my decision to stay at home. Honestly, I think she'd be disappointed if I WOH full-time and had my kids in daycare.

[katebleu]

my mom was a SAHM until i graduated from high school. my brothers were 16, 13 and 9 (i think) and she joked that the family gave up the live-in maid so i could go to college. that wasn't really what she thought or how she felt about staying home. she was always very proud and bit defiant about being a SAHM especially in the 70's-80's when more women were going back to work.
she's very proud that i'm staying home. and has been one of my biggest suporters because she knows how it can be. which has been a great help.

"yay gramma" - lucie goosie

[mamawanabe]

Originally Posted by mamawanabe

My mom was a stay at home mom. She doesn't really have an opinion on whether I should be one or not, but she does worry that I'll be somewhat bored/miserable (I guess because she was a little).

Now, MIL is a little ambivalent too, but for an opposite reason - she was a sahm and likes the idea of her dils not being able to handle being sahms. She once told me with a note of self-satisfaction that sara (fake name - the wife of dh's brother who woh part-time) would go stir crazy at home full-time. My MIL is great, but she stakes her self-esteem on weird little things . . .

[elmh23]

My mom wasn't a stay at home mom, but wanted to be. She was a single mom with no help (she finally got child support from my dad when I was 19!) so she couldn't. She loves that I stay home with Sarah.

[janerose]

We've been very lucky that both our families are VERY supportive of me being a SAHM. If anything I think I'd seriously get hassel if I decided to go back to work. Especially if that decision meant placing dd in daycare even part-time!

My mom was a WOHM. She worked FT as a nurse my whole life, and just recently (last month) went per diem. Having a child of my own has really made us talk about stuff like this & I realized that she ideally would have worked part-time while we were little but just wasn't able to do it as my dad made VERY little money as a factory worker. She has said on numerous occasions though that if my Gram hadn't been able to care for my brother & I that she would have had to stay at home & just found some way to make it work. Daycare wasn't an option for her at all.

My MIL has been a SAHM all along. Actually, now she's a WAHM because my IL's own a business & she does all the paperwork part from home. She has a BS in education though & has many times gotten the "you're wasting your education" line. That's one I'm very blessed to have never heard from either of our families either. Since she had an education & made the choice to stay home she is obviously very supportive of our decision to have me do the same.

Holly

[sincitymama]

My mom stayed home for a couple years. Actually she couldn't have gone to work, as she was too young to drive or have a legitimate job :LOL but she liked being home with me. She was a single mom though and had to go to work as soon as she was able. Luckily there was lots of family around to help take care of me Like my grandmother would work a m-f 9-5 job then watch me nights and weekends whil emy mom worked jobs like waitressing and whatnot. When I was schoolage, an aunt ran a home daycare so I was still taken care of by family(surrounded by my other cousins too ).

My whole family is quite supportive of sahm-ing. Plenty of the women have had outside jobs also, but staying home is understood to be a very tough, respectable job. It's nice to have so much support. It's also nice to be able to vent a little here and there and have people understand, tell you they remember, how they got htrough those otugh times with young ones, rather than tell you that daycare and a full time job will solve all your issues.

My husbands family is a little different. They aren't openly disrespectful or anything, but are mostly hte type who seem to believe that earning cash is some kind of moral issue. Even if oyu hate your job and your family doesn't need the money to survive, it's lazy to not have paying work. So different from my family, where sure, it's lazy to never do anything with your life or whatever, but they understand that it doesn't always mean cash.

My mom particularly is very supportive of our choices. If there is something she doesn't understand, she asks. And listens to the answers! Usually once she hears our reasoning behind something(not vaxing, homeschooling, etc..) she's cool with it. It's a nice change from my IL's, who if they don't understand or agree might ask a question or two but not listen to the answers and then just never bring it up again. If the topic comes up, they just get quiet.


I htink the only thing my family would worry about with me is that I won't ever make time to continue my education or anything like that, that is just for my own fullfillment. I'm a high school drop out who only ever had lame retail jobs I didn't like but paid the rent, then I turned up pregnant(and SO not on purpose). So I can see why they worry about that, me not meeting my potential(iam a smart cookie ), and try to remind them as it ocmes up that I do have plans for college and owning a business and stuff, it's just not time for that in my life yet. I actually am quite grateful for this time off from the 'working world' to be able to sit back, hang out with my son, explore different interests in my own way at my on pace, and make my plans. I will have plenty of time for those goals when ds is a bit older, right now he's 17 months and still just little.

Have I veered too far off topic? :LOL

[merpk]

Until I was maybe 3. After that she worked full time, and went to grad school at night for multiple masters degrees.

[Jennisee]

I *think* she stayed home w/ me the first year, but I'm not positive. I know she was working when my brother was born when I was 2, and has always worked since then. I know she didn't handle being a WOHM very well, IMO. She treated her children like live-in maids, cooks, babysitters, and told me often that she didn't have to clean up after herself (as in clear her plate from the table, put her coat and shoes away, that sort of thing) b/c she had a job--that was my responsibility b/c I didn't have a real job like she did. And I'm not really sure what she thinks of my being a SAHM. Can you tell we don't talk much?

My dad walks a strange line. He has given me many lectures over the years about "doing whatever makes you happy." But, he also asks when I'm going to go get my PhD (I have a masters). Um, we live in the middle of nowhere. Where am I going to go, Podunck University?

[mags]

Originally Posted by Jennisee

My dad walks a strange line. He has given me many lectures over the years about "doing whatever makes you happy." But, he also asks when I'm going to go get my PhD (I have a masters). Um, we live in the middle of nowhere. Where am I going to go, Podunck University?

Lol, same here. My parents, esp my mom bug me about getting my MS degree, but we live in the middle of no where like you. I would have to commute over an hr and a half each way, which I'm not willing to do at this pt with a toddler and another baby on the way.

[virgo mommy]

My mom was a SAHM, so i just naturally thought that's what i would do, i never really questioned it, and my whole family is very supportive,

but i hate it when people give me those sympathy looks when i say i am a SAHM like they were sad for me or something : not my family but people i would meet, etc...i don't feel like i'm giving up anything by staying at home....i LOVE it and i wouldn't have it any other way and neither would dh or dds

[Goldenlover]

my mom was a SAHM and also my dad was due to medical reasons for them both

My mom never got the chance to see me being a mom since she passed away 19 days before Jayden was born

[GOPLawyer]

My Mom worked yet fully supports and encourages me staying at home. My Dad, however, was not thrilled that my education was being "wasted". Let's just say he's now seen the light and is fully behind me.

[OnTheFence]

My mother was a SAHM, and she believed that at all possible children should be at home with at least one parent while they were young. If you had to work, she thought that a grandmother, aunt, or cousin should care for the children. She was very opposed to day cares. When my mother had to work due to a divorce, an older cousin took care of me or my grandmother.

[~Megan~]

No she wasn't (and thank God!) my grandmother had in home day care though and we stayed with her. We got a much better deal than if my mom was SAHM.
If she was well rested she was a great mom and did it fine but I can't see her doing it all the time. She was definitely more about quality than quantity.

I think she sorta regrets it but also recognizes it was necessary for her to work. Not only her personality but my parents divorced when I was a toddler so she worked because she was single and it was her only choice. Then after she married my step dad she continued to work and my grandmother cared for my baby sister. My brother was born a few years later and my dad was unable to continue to work because of very serious health problems. So she's glad she worked.

She also respects my choice not to work and I think she thinks it a good idea. Of couse she wants me to live to close to her so that when she retires in 4 yrs she can babysit for me. No, thanks.

[Doodlebugsmom]

My mom was a SAHM until I went to kindergarten and she and my dad got divorced. She has worked as a social worker ever since and the hours worked out so that my sister and I spent about an hour in an in-home daycare after school. My mom, step-dad and dad are all very proud that I SAH. They think my kids and I are lucky to be in this situation. They don't feel like I'm wasting the education that they paid for!

[cks321]

My mom was a teacher before she began to have kids and my dad was an engineer and made a lot of $$$$ so when she had my oldest sister she quit and became a SAHM (considering my dad made 6 figures a year it didn't do any damage on their income anyway) it sucked though becuase when I was 5 my mom found out my dad got a woman who worked in his plant pregnant....good job daddy...and they got divorced. The problem was she didn't have a teaching certificate or whatever for the state we lived in at the time, and couldn't get a job. So she ended up taking over a donut shop that my dad had bought has a "hobby". But she thinks me being a SAHM is great, but she says that I should finish my school so I have something to fall back on so if (god forbid) my dh and I get divorced I will have something to support myself with.