what is wrong with punishment and consequences, generic answers? - Page 6

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Happy Mother's Day, everyone!!!

s

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

Happy Mother's Day, everyone!!!

s

Thank You
And to you too!

[annettemarie]

I am confused. When someone starts a thread, do they somehow have ownership of that thread? Do they get to decide what is and is not an acceptable answer? With the exception of the Activism forum, where debate is not allowed, it was my impression that threads sort of wander where they will, and, as long as it is still in the general vacinity of the original topic, it's all good.

[PM]

So, if you feel *in the moment* that you will be meeting your child’s needs *in the moment* by punishment that’s what you do but don’t punish because of some future lesson you want them to learn.

So wise! Excellent point! But, damn! That sentence is so terribly constucted! :LOL

4) For the 15 yo who rode down the hill and killed himself on his bike - maybe his parents always imposed limits on him, so he didn't develop his own sense of judgement.

Thanks for deconstructing all that, EllienC. I had wanted to come to do it, but I never got the time.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by ParisMaman

That sentence is so terribly constucted! :LOL

Hey! :LOL

[heartmama]

I couldn't read every reply, and a lot are missing?

But to answer the title question~

We do have expectations, both for practical living and for how we treat each other. I am not going to get into a semantics debate over logical/natural/ etc. but, we are all to treat each other respectfully, and clean up after ourselves. If someone isn't living up to that, we figure out why and it gets resolved. Nobody is allowed to continue being disrespectful, but it's hard to summarize how we resolve it, since it's a very intuitive process.

I think for me, what feels wrong with an arbitrary punishment, is that it doesn't really address the actual situation.

I am all for resolving conflicts, and the expectation that everyone commit to it, but I do think it has to about the actual problem, dealt with in the present, and not some abstract set of rules and punishments that we hit each over the head with to express our unhappiness.