Do you give allowance?

[Pigpen]

We just started giving allowance to our boys aged 6 and 4. At first it was attatched to a chore list but that didn't really feel right. I did it that way b/c that's what I've seen others do. That lasted a week :LOL Now we give a weekly allowance with no strings attatched and they can do whatever they want with the money. I'm curious about what others do...I was going to create a poll but haven't a clue about how to do that! So, my questions are...

1. Do you give your children an allowance?

2. Are there conditions? chores, good grades, etc.

3. Do you restrict what they can buy? Do they have to put it in savings?

I'd appreciate knowing why you choose to do it the way you do...

[UnschoolnMa]

1. Do you give your children an allowance?

No we don't. They have access to the same funds we (Dh & I) do at any given time. My dad does send them an allowance because it was important to him to do so. They enjoy it, he enjoys it, and all is well.

2. Are there conditions? chores, good grades, etc.

There are no conditions set by Dh and I for them to have/get money. The only condition is does the budget allow for it. We have no chores or grades so that wouldn't work for us anyway :LOL

3. Do you restrict what they can buy? Do they have to put it in savings?

They can spend the money they have any way they wish to. We may offer an opinion on a purchase they have in mind or something, but the actual decision is their own.


I'd appreciate knowing why you choose to do it the way you do.

We believe that the money our family has belongs to our whole family, children included. The money is theirs as much as it is ours.

[arwenevenstar]

We were just talking about this last weekend for our elder, he's now 5. We weren't sure of the approach to take.
We didn't feel the chore approach was right as it implied we were bribing thim and he does do small chores already so I wouldn't want him to feel he got money for them. He might get extra if he helps his dad with something on top of his little chores.

With regards to him spending it, well, I am not so inclined to just let him spend on anything because
a. We weren't going to give much, so he might not be able to actually "buy" anything and we don't like him having sweets, so those wouldn't be an option.
b. We felt it was important for him to learn the value of money and the feeling of having to save for something he REALLY wants (helped out by birthday and Christmas money)
c. He is exposed to enough flimsy plastic crap from parties etc, without him having the opportunity to buy more

So the conclusion we came to for our boys was we would give him a dollar a week to start with and have bought him a piggy bank (mean I know, but start small and then we can increase). He already has his eye on a wooden pirate ship ......100 week's worth of savings poor kid !!!(so we'll help him out in the end)

I have no idea if this is the "right" way to go about it, but it feels right to us.

[LovemyBoo]

1. Do you give your children an allowance?
My son gets $2 a week. He can also earn extra money by doing extra chores around the house that aren't ordinarily expected of him.

2. Are there conditions? chores, good grades, etc.

Yes. He must pick up his room and help me clean his bathroom. This must be done by Friday evenings if he is to get paid. The deadline is flexible, though, if other things come up.

3. Do you restrict what they can buy? Do they have to put it in savings?
No, I don't restrict what he can buy (well, no Playboy magazine until he's considerably older, but you know what I mean ) He does not, yet, have to put any money in a savings account as it's only $2 a week. As he gets older and gets more money we may implement a savings program, though by the time he is in his teens I will not put any restrictions on his money.

I'd appreciate knowing why you choose to do it the way you do...

I want him to learn the value of money and how it feels to earn it. Some people may say that we pay him to do things he should be doing anyway. Well I make HIM pay for things other parents may pay for themselves. He must buy his own sugary treats, any toys he wants when it's not his birthday or Christmas, he pays for his hot lunches at school (I used to put money on his account for him to use but he abused the privilege so now he must use his own cash) if he wants them, among other things. He recently borrowed a yo-yo from a friend and broke it due to careless use. He had to buy his friend a new one with his own money.

For me, giving him the allowance keeps me from having to say "no" a lot. You want candy? Sure, buy it yourself. You want a new beyblade but don't want to wait until your birthday? No problem, use your money. As far as the yo-yo example, I think the lesson of taking extra care of borrowed things meant more b/c he had to spend money he had earned. At the other end of the spectrum he seems to take very good care of the stuff he has bought and not so much for the stuff given to him. He also gets a big kick out of eating and sharing the treats he bought himself. He likes having his own money, counting it and keeping it in his wallet. I think he's learning some responsibility and it's working for us.

[Willowrose]

1. Do you give your children an allowance?
We do not give our boys an allowance, they are still pretty small.
Our older son has a few small chores....he takes out the garbage. Thats *his* job. He loves doing it. He also learned to set the table for dinner, so some nights that is another chore for him. Both boys also have to help clean up toys when they are finished. They both love this as well.
These are regular "family" chores. Meaning, they do this as a member of our family. These chores will not get compensated by allowance when they are older.
However, they will get opportunities to earn money or special treats by doing other things. Maybe helping with yardwork, washing the car, etc...(when they are older, of course).
We hope to teach our children that as an important member of our family, each person must contribute in their own way.

2. Are there conditions? chores, good grades, etc.
No, see above

3. Do you restrict what they can buy? Do they have to put it in savings?
If they ever did receive a weekly allowance, we would teach them the importance of putting some in savings, giving some in Sunday School and using the rest for whatever they wish. Of course, we would not allow them to buy anything we don't agree with.

[Pigpen]

Thanks for the replies everyone. We didn't give much thought to the whole allowance thing at first but I like to see how my children have responded to it. They saved enough to go to the toy store and were quite proud to buy thier own toys. My older son had bought some candy the week before and shared with everyone he met :LOL I've been reading about chores from Sandra Dodd http://sandradodd.com/chore/intro and has me re-thinking the idea of connecting chores to allowance, re-thinking chores altogether (along the lines of UnschoolinMa's response).

[AngelBee]

My goal is as a family to pay bills and come up with a family budget. Children will be in charge of paying for ALL of their own expenses....such as sports fees, outings, shampoo, toothbrushes, etc. They are also responsible for there own spending money, savings, charity contributions. We will not set an amount for those things, but will encourage by example.

Once the money is gone...it is gone. Just like for dh and myself. If they spend 50.00 on a new vidoe game and don't have money for new undies...oh well. Have to wait until the next pay day.

They only thing that is a requirement is attending the family budgeting. We all work together as a team to school, keep the home, and run the dance academy. So everyone has a spot in payday!

My hope is that this will allow them to experience having money and responsiblity as well as seeing what it takes to care for the family. It also gives them a sense of independance as they never have to ask for money from us.

[chefkath]

WEll, we haven't really started allowance yet with DD - we do give her a couple of dollars to spend at the Farmers' Market each weekend, as she loves to pick out her own veggies and give the vendor the money herself. But DH and I have talked quite a bit about how we plan to handle the whole money thing, so I can tell you what we plan to do when the kids are a bit bigger:

1. Do you give your children an allowance? We do plan to give them a bit of money to spend when we can, depending upon how our household finances are going. There will be weeks or months in which we don't have extra money for the kids, just as we don't have extra for ourselves. And there will be times when we're doing OK and everyone can have a bit to spend on him/herself. DD and I already talk a lot about the budget and what it means to live within our budget - she actually understands it quite well already. When the kids are older, they'll be a part of creating the budget each month so they'll always know (and have a say in) where the money is going.

2. Are there conditions? chores, good grades, etc. No, absolutely not. We don't have assigned chores and won't have grades, so neither of those will be applicable anyways. But we won't ever regard allowance as a reward.

3. Do you restrict what they can buy? Do they have to put it in savings? We won't restrict what they can buy. We'll encourage them to put money into savings if there's something costly that they're saving up for. We save money together as a family (for future expenditures like education and travel) and we donate money to charity each month as a family. So the kids are a part of that - but we won't give them money of their "own" and then mandate that they donate or save it.

I'd appreciate knowing why you choose to do it the way you do...

As a child I was very limited in the things I was allowed to purchase with "my" money. So I often shoplifted things as a kid, or swiped money from my parents' wallets and bought things on the sly. I certainly didn't learn to be careful with my money, but I was great at being sneaky and dishonest. So I've always known my kids would have free rein with their money. As for savings - my parents never saved money, and they were always in debt. I was years into adulthood before I really learned to save and not to use credit. I want my kids to see saving as part of life, and not to see credit cards or debt as normal. That's why I think saving together as a family is so valuable - mandating that kids save money makes it feel like a chore to save; doing it together makes it a natural part of life. As for the chores/grades thing.... we don't use punishment or reward in our house at all, so it isn't really an issue. Given the frustration I have with the materialism/consumerism in our culture, it would feel especially unhealthy to me to use money to control my kids' behavior.

[dharmamama]

We don't give our kids allowances yet, but we probably will when they get older (if we can afford it). They will not be tied to chores or behavior or anything else. Chores will be done because members of the family pitch in and help out, not because there is a monetary incentive. The children will have to save a certain percentage and donate a certain percentage to charity. We will not necessarily restrict what they can buy, but we will talk about and overrule (if necessary) items that go against our values. We will not allow our children to purchase and bring into our homes things that pertain to violence or are unnecessarily sexual in nature (such as the shorts/sweatpants with words on the rear end that are popular now), and we will not allow music in our house that degrades women, gay people, etc. I'm sure that each item the kids express interest in will be evaluated on its own merit.

The way I see it, yes, it is the children's money, but we have family values that pertain to all members of the family, and individual members won't be allowed to violate them just because it's their own money. If my husband went out and got a freelance job and earned his very own money and brought home porn, I would throw it out in a second and not feel the least bit guilty! (Not that my dh would ever do that!)

Namaste!

[Alkenny]

1. Do you give your children an allowance? Yes

2. Are there conditions? chores, good grades, etc. Yes, my DD does dishes "most" everynight...I do pitch in just for the heck of it sometimes. DS empties the trash (again, I'll do it sometimes to be nice if they're busy with homework or other activities) and helps out mowing the lawn.

3. Do you restrict what they can buy? Do they have to put it in savings? Nope, they can spend it any way they wish, but once it's gone it's gone.

I'd appreciate knowing why you choose to do it the way you do...I know this can get to be a "heated" discussion, tying allowances with chores and all...BUT, we see it as we don't just get money given to us niether. We have to earn it, so they have to earn it. JMO

[RubyWild]

My daughter is 4. She does help around the house, but she doesn't even know what money is. I was never given an allowance. I doubt we'll give one, either. If she wants to earn money, she can do stuff like I did.

Pick raspberries and sell them to the neighbors
Wash the neighbor's dog or feed it while they're on vacation
Babysit

I think it's important to learn the value of a dollar eventually, but, at the same time, no one is getting paid to do dishes or mow the lawn. Those are simply the responsibilities of life and of being in a family. And, personally, I think young children don't need to learn about these things. They think they need money because of all the advertising they're exposed to in most American homes, but 10 or 12 is a better time to take on those issues, IMO.

[mommyofshmoo]

My dd is very young, but she understands money in terms of quarters- that buy gumballs and other candy from machines.

I'd like to get her started with an allowance, a bank account, saving and budgeting very young. I wouldn't dictate what she should buy, but I would like to staart early enough to influence how much she saves.

I like the idea of eventually having my kids keep track of their own budget for activities, toys and maybe even clothes. Frankly, it would be less work for me if I can simply budget a monthly expese per child and have said child deal with distributing it (with my help, of course.)

I think this teaches about math, planning, relative value, etc.

Living within your means is one of the most important thing you can do in this life. It is important for happiness, family, your future children. It's funny- I don't have such strong feelings about recreational drugs and premarital sex as I do about money! That must make me really shallow.

[EnviroBecca]

What we will do when our son is older is very similar to what my parents did with me (except for the amount): Beginning at 4 or 5 years old, when he begins to show interest in using money, he will get $1 per week in the form of 2 quarters and 5 dimes. He'll have 3 different banks: 50c will go into Spend, 30c into Save, and 20c into Share.

Spend money is his to use whenever he wants, on anything he wants and is allowed to have.

Save is to be saved toward a long-term goal of his choice. When he's saved $50, he can open a bank account.

Share is to be donated to a charity of his choice. Buying something from a charitable organization (like Girl Scout cookies) qualifies.

This allowance will not be contingent on chores, grades, behavior, or anything else. He'll have some routine chores that are unpaid, as well as the opportunity to earn extra money by doing occasional big chores. Each year after his birthday, we'll discuss his allowance and decide whether to raise it and whether he'll take on new expenses. By the time he finishes high school, he'll be buying his own clothes, toiletries, lunches, school supplies, and other basics as well as recreational stuff.

This system worked really, really well for me and for my brother; we're among the most budget-efficient people I know. My partner has good money skills now but feels he had to learn them on his own, no thanks to his parents who handed him random amounts of spending money at irregular intervals and bought all the necessities for him.

[dharmamama]

EnviroBecca, that sounds like a fabulous system!

Namaste!

[mommyofshmoo]

envirobecca-

I am going to copy this down and use it as a blueprint for how to handle allowances.

This system even makes me want to adjust how I save and spend!

I am pretty good with money- basically because I'm terrified of debt. My husband is not so great and is always in some kind of debt (not serious debt, but it seriously effects his happiness- an mine.)

I really want to help my dd learn good habits, as my dh always blames his parents' bad example on why he is bad with money.

[L.J.]

My boys get an allowance which I started because they were constantly wanting everything & not appreciating what they have. I also want them to learn about saving for things instead of "buy now, pay later" - which is their father's method of keeping himself in debt!

They get $1.50 each week. They put .25 or .50 into savings each week and the rest is for them to buy whatever they want.

I have not attached chores because I feel that keeping the house tidy and clean is everyone's responsibility.

I do not limit what they buy, but I ask a lot of questions to
ensure they understand that they are spending all of the money or ask about something they say they've been saving for and then let them buy what they want.

My oldest wanted to buy a very expensive $35 stuffed bear. He was "saving" for it when he found a $10 bear. He decided that was a better purchase and he'd still have money left over.

My youngest also saved for about 6 weeks for something he really wanted (and he's 3). So, I'm feeling good about the way it's all being handled.

[SabrinaJL]

1. Do you give your children an allowance? Yes.

2. Are there conditions? chores, good grades, etc. Yes, they have specific chores they are asked to do.

3. Do you restrict what they can buy? Do they have to put it in savings? Nope. They earned it, they can do what they want with it.

I'd appreciate knowing why you choose to do it the way you do... We buy them everything they need, but we feel it's important for them to know that everything they WANT won't just be handed to them. They need to earn it, just as DH and I do. They don't have to do their chores if they don't feel like it. I don't hound them about it. If they don't do it, they don't get paid. Simple as that.