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An interesting observation re: TV watching - Page 4

post #61 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
how exactly is she being harmed?
Seriously? This needs an answer? Really?

OK then...

ADHD, Obesity, Etc.
post #62 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by GriffinsMom
Seriously? This needs an answer? Really?

OK then...

ADHD, Obesity, Etc.
My child is not obese and does not have any psychological disorder. She was also not part of any research to prove this, so I remain unconvinced. And we are not the only family who allows TV (and sweets) and still somehow manages to have children without health problems.

Once again, I think I know my child a little bit better than anyone else knows her.
post #63 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
But, for families interested in unschooling, if it's what the child chooses, doesn't that trump all else? As long as the child has plenty of other things to choose from, if he chooses TV, shouldn't he be allowed that?

I want my children to do what makes them happy. L
Happy short term, or happy long term?


And why should TV be part of the "choice package" one's child has, anyway? What has, in the last 50 years, turned television from a mere novelty to something so sacrosanct that no proper unschooling parent should be without it?
post #64 of 173
And Greaseball, even though I keep responding to you, my original post on this thread wasn't about you or even about what you are saying. If that much TV works for your family, then I guess that much TV works for your family.

But the OP using other kids' interest in a TV set as a JUSTIFICATION for that much TV time is just unbelievable.
post #65 of 173
I do have to say, at the risk of being caught in the crossfire (jk) that in my experience...MY EXPERIENCE...so I am not making huge claims to what the whole country thinks....but in my experience, when we tell people we are not planning on letting our daughter watch any television until at least the age of 2...and then probably very limited (if even that)....almost EVERYONE we have told this in mainstream society (and even so-called *crunchier* people too) have really acted shocked, as if we were planning on denying our daughter the most basic of human rights or something...seriously...

So I can relate to this comment:

Quote:
And why should TV be part of the "choice package" one's child has, anyway? What has, in the last 50 years, turned television from a mere novelty to something so sacrosanct that no proper unschooling parent should be without it?
That just annoys me when I get that reaction...which hasn't been a rare reaction, it has been very common...
post #66 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
This has me curious, if you don't mind me asking a few more questions about it. How often do you have cake available in the house? Every day? What if they wanted it before meals, or instead of meals? What if they were getting noticeably fatter because of all that cake eating?
We have cake, cake mix, or the stuff to make cake available most of the time. We also have other snack type stuff available. Ice cream, chips, etc. They can and do eat it before meals or instead of a meal. Dd had chocolate chip mint ice cream at 5 pm tonight. An hour later she made a burrito. Weight fluctuates naturally during childhood (and both kids are in puberty currently...) so it would have to be a marked difference for me to be concerned. If I was concerned for their health I would say so, and I would try to get their thoughts on the subject.

Quote:
To me, "taking children seriously" (if that is what we are talking about) doesn't mean letting them eat all of the cake or watch all of the TV that they want to.
Yea we are TCS'ers. To me it means (among other things) that the children make their own choices about food and media.

Quote:
So, I took his hunger seriously. (Obviously certain parents would have said, "No! Meal time's over!" That, to me, is too controlling.)
You did take his hunger seriously and that's great. In our house that conversation would have gone down a bit differently.
Child: Mom, im still hungry.
Parent: OK, what would you like to eat?
Then the child could list off pretty much anything we had available and be welcome to eat it. Just like I could.

Quote:
Anyway, UnSchoolMa, if you care to share more about how it works at your house, that would be great.
Sure thing I hope I am not hijacking this thread by doing so though.
post #67 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by GriffinsMom
Seriously? This needs an answer? Really?

OK then...

ADHD, Obesity, Etc.
But surely you realize that not all children or people who watch TV have these issues, right? We dig TV, so we watch it. We also like to read, so we do that too. My husband likes to research family history, and I like to be online. We don't see huge differences in these things. We just like to do them
post #68 of 173
I personally choose to limit my son's TV - he gets to watch a show while I work out and also at night while he has his bedtime snack. He never asks for more and has never been really obsessed with TV. I think some kids are just naturally more drawn to it for whatever reason.
post #69 of 173
I limit my son's tv, and he has never asked for tv at another person's house.

My family of origin, all of them, have the tv on all day, and none of them ever really talk to each other. I hated it growing up. I didn't watch a lot of tv. At the dinner table, my family watched tv. My chair was the one with the back to the tv. Fun (and part of the inspiration for my sig line).

I used to be more lax with tv, but it was seriously making it hard for us to get out the door for other things. Sometimes my son gets upset (generally if he's tired) about the limits set on the tv, but he's mostly fine, now that he is used to a mostly tv free life.

I have also found that PBS kids has a lot less to offer him now that he is almost 5. They seem to have things more geared towards three year olds or older kids (in the afternoon).

L.
post #70 of 173
Thread Starter 
"I have to be honest and say that I'm pretty shocked that a child who is not yet four is watching South Park."

My child has never watched South Park nor have I. I didn't say that they can watch whatever they want, I said they can watch as much as they like. What they are allowed to watch is limited.

"my problem with self-regulated TV watching, is, what do you do when you have a lot of kids?"

So far with my kids my daughter likes tv more than my son and when it is on and he doesn't want to watch he just doesn't. There is more than one room in the house.

"I would rather read and frankly so would she, she will sit and let me read to her for hours and be happy,"

My children love to read and we read to them many times a day. They both have photographic memories like mommy so they can quote the books back to us and they often "read" stories to each other.

"So, your kids watch up to TWENTY-EIGHT hours of TV per week, and somehow you're............ happy? about that? "

I'm not happy or unhappy about it. It is just another part of their lives. They are awake for 11 hours a day which equals to 77 hours a week. No it doesn't bother me that some weeks (not every week) they watch that much tv because the rest of the time they are doing other stuff.

"I feel guilty if my kids watch more than 1/2 hour of TV per day."

That is you and I'm me. If you feel guilty then you do what you feel is best.

"I'm in the middle of reading Unconditional Parenting and, from what I am gathering, the opposite of being a controlling parent ISN'T being an overly permissive one. In fact, being too controlling and too permissive are often the same side of the coin."

:LOL I'm sorry I have to laugh at that. Anyone who knows me knows I am not permissive. Just because YOU view tv watching as permissive doesn't mean I do.

"There is SOOOOOOOO much in their worlds that they are missing when they are in front of that box. You are not doing them any favors by letting them sit there that often."

Again you don't know our family and how we do things. My children explore they world. We are outside playing for more hours than we are watching tv. We read books, we do crafts, we go to playgroups, we sing, we dance, etc, etc. I don't feel I am doing them harm by allowing the to watch television. They've never been taught it is good or bad. It's just a tv and I don't give it that much power. Its just one activity out of many activities that they enjoy.

"My child is not obese and does not have any psychological disorder. She was also not part of any research to prove this, so I remain unconvinced. And we are not the only family who allows TV (and sweets) and still somehow manages to have children without health problems.

Once again, I think I know my child a little bit better than anyone else knows her."

Ditto.

"Happy short term, or happy long term?


And why should TV be part of the "choice package" one's child has, anyway? What has, in the last 50 years, turned television from a mere novelty to something so sacrosanct that no proper unschooling parent should be without it?"

I honestly do not believe my children watching television is going to make them unhappy in the long term. So when my son is 22 he's going to say, "Damn mom, I am a mess because you let me watch tv. I wish you'd controlled me and told me what to do all the time so I didn't learn how to regulate myself." TV is a choice in my family because I don't think it is harmful. So my children are free to do what they would like with their day as long as it is not harmful or hurtful.

"But the OP using other kids' interest in a TV set as a JUSTIFICATION for that much TV time is just unbelievable."

I don't need to justify my opinions and that is not what I'm doing. This is not the first time I've seen this that children who are restricted in their tv viewing ask for it all the time. Its like dieting - if I'm dieting I'm obsessed with what I can't have. So now I don't diet, I just eat what I want and it all balances out. If I want to have a chocolate bar I eat one. Its the same thing with TV for our family. If you want to watch go ahead. It is just part of your varied diet.
post #71 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
She was also not part of any research to prove this, so I remain unconvinced.
With respect, I've heard formula-feeding mothers say the same thing about the studies done on breastmilk benefits. Your child doesn't have to be part of the study for it to be sound.
post #72 of 173
For some reason, people get really upset if they think our children are being denied the things that are part of their own childhood memories.

Quote:
Originally Posted by captain crunchy
....almost EVERYONE we have told this in mainstream society (and even so-called *crunchier* people too) have really acted shocked, as if we were planning on denying our daughter the most basic of human rights or something...seriously...
I get the same reaction when I tell people we don't believe in Santa. People don't seem to understand that our kids will have cherished memories that will be just as wonderful as their own. We don't need to recreate our childhoods for our kids, but it's natural to want to share with them the things that we enjoyed. But, TV is just one more thing in the great wide world and the belief that watching it is a fundamental right is pretty funny, and one that I've encountered, too.
post #73 of 173
Thread Starter 
"But, TV is just one more thing in the great wide world "

Exactly, so why should I deny my kids TV watching? It IS just one more thing in the great wide world of my children's lives.
post #74 of 173
Heavenly,
I just wanted to say that I agree w/ what you've written here.
post #75 of 173
I don't have any time restrictions with the TV/video games. Total my kids probably watch/play a few hours a week. We don't have cable TV, so the only thing they ever really watch is PBS and there's only a few shows they tolerate. We have a large DVD collection and they'll often ask to watch a movie in the early evening, which is a blessing for me because I'm usually zonked.

I never just have the TV on in the background. And for some reason I am disgusted at having a TV on during daylight hours, it just bothers me.
post #76 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftField
With respect, I've heard formula-feeding mothers say the same thing about the studies done on breastmilk benefits. Your child doesn't have to be part of the study for it to be sound.
But I know formula is bad for my children, and I also know TV is not necessarily bad. Sometimes I just have to trust my own judgment and not that of doctors and scientists.

Quote:
And why should TV be part of the "choice package" one's child has, anyway?
Because we have a TV in the house and our children are members of our family. If we didn't own one, they wouldn't watch at our house. But we do, and I feel it would be unfair to not allow it when I can watch as often as I want. The reason I believe in unschooling is because I think my children are the experts on what they need to be doing and learning at the moment, not me. If I thought I was the one who knew best I would not be drawn to unschooling. When my dd decides that now it's time to paint, I don't argue, I get out the paints. Same as when it's time to watch TV.
post #77 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
Because we have a TV in the house and our children are members of our family. If we didn't own one, they wouldn't watch at our house. But we do, and I feel it would be unfair to not allow it when I can watch as often as I want.
ITA
post #78 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
Because we have a TV in the house and our children are members of our family. If we didn't own one, they wouldn't watch at our house. But we do, and I feel it would be unfair to not allow it when I can watch as often as I want. The reason I believe in unschooling is because I think my children are the experts on what they need to be doing and learning at the moment, not me. If I thought I was the one who knew best I would not be drawn to unschooling. When my dd decides that now it's time to paint, I don't argue, I get out the paints. Same as when it's time to watch TV.
I couldn't agree more.

I would no sooner say, "OK, you've already read 5 books today--that's it until tomorrow!" than I would say something similiar about tv/movies. It's all fodder for the brain.
post #79 of 173
And when you're reading a book, you're also "sitting on your butt." I didn't have a TV in the house when I was growing up and my parents always complained about me reading too much. After school, instead of running around the neighborhood playing with friends, I'd be holed up in my room with a book. I'd get so absorbed in my books that I'd miss the school bus. My mom would set limits on how many books I could check out from the library - no more than 10 per week, and they would all be read before the week was up. Some parents will always find something wrong with what their kids are doing...

And I know "studies have shown" that your metabolism drops when you watch TV as opposed to when you read a book, but I would only be concerned about this if my kids or I were overweight, which we aren't.

Funny how the parents who don't want their kids sitting on their butts for hours watching TV have no problem with them sitting around doing homework!

People seem to think nothing can be learned from TV. Haven't many of us learned something from educational TV? Why can't kids do the same?
post #80 of 173
Here is our deal. We have one, but we do not use it. It am not refusing my son TV. I do not have cable, but we have plug in and some videos. I simply offer more atttractive alternatives, and I let him pick. If he wants to watch TV, I might suggest reading, painting, walking to the park, making playdough, anything. Usually he will choose the later. If he was not being entertained, of course he would pick many hours of TV.

There are studies too much TV can be harmful, but I have yet to see one that shows lack of TV is harmful or that TV is beneficial to one. I keep asking, but no one delivers. Still not sure why.

I definitely think older kids are way different than younger kids. UnSchooln, I respect your POV on this issue as I often do, but your kids are older than the OP. The practices you have for a teen may not apply to a toddler. I made much more rational and thought out decisions at 10 than I did at 5.

I have seen the argument that I have it, the adults watch as much as they want so we let the kids. Why does this apply to TV? And not other things. I have wine and liquor in my house, and I drink it whenever I want. Should my son be allowed free reign as well? I have a sewing machine, and I sew as much as I want. Should my son be allowed to sew as much as he wants even though he does not fully understand it (like most toddlers about TV)? My poor analogies are to make the point that my 2.5 year old does not know the pros and cons of TV. Sure I let him choice within reason. I never deny him what he wants to eat (if that means popsicles for breakfast then fine by me) or wants to watch, but I always offer several other options. He might he prefers to take a walk over watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I think choices are important.

The way I look at it from the OP, 28 hours is a lot to watch TV IMO. From the 77 waking hours, the kids are spending almost one third of their waking hours watching TV That leaves only 2/3 of the waking hours (49 hours) to eat, bathe, spend time with parents, playgroups, go to the park, play, do art activities, read, etc. That seems like so little time. Especially since my son helps me do a lot of things, like do the laundry (well he carries the quarters). Meal preparation (which my son helps with) and eating for us takes 3+ hours a day so that would leave us with 4 hours to do everything else. To me that would give the message to my son TV is as important as everything else since we spent as much time sitting in front of a box learning superficially. I would rather be teaching him for those 4 hours a day.

I guess I am thankful TV was not important in my house growing up (1 small common area TV without cable for 7 people) so I can continue to pass that down to my children.
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