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changed a circ diaper today

post #1 of 50
5/5/05 at 9:35pm
Thread Starter 

well, I changed my friends little guy (the one who i couldn't convince not to circ) today for the first time.
He's 9 weeks old and the poor little thing still looked very purple and sore.
I love my friend but it was kinda hard to talk to her for a little while after that. I kept my mouth shut because what's done is done and I already came close to losing her as a friend over this, it just was very hard.
DH is circ'd I guess it's just that now that I have DS and have chosen not to my heart breaks for everyone that is.
Just needed to share

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post #2 of 50
5/5/05 at 10:47pm

My heart breaks for all the circ's boys (and men) too!

I think, for me, if I had educated a friend about circumcision and they did it anyway, I could not continue the friendship.
post #3 of 50
5/5/05 at 10:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer

My heart breaks for all the circ's boys (and men) too!

I think, for me, if I had educated a friend about circumcision and they did it anyway, I could not continue the friendship.

What do you do when it's a family member? I'm struggling with how to relate to my bro and SIL since their son's circ (after all the info I gave them!)

And I've never changed my nephew's diaper. That would kill me. In fact, I've never even asked to hold him. He's almost a year old.
post #4 of 50
5/5/05 at 10:59pm
Ugh, it makes you so sad, doesn't it? A few years ago I was babysitting a little guy for a neighbor, and his circ had been botched. He only had a button left, literally. It was heartbreaking.
post #5 of 50
5/5/05 at 11:28pm
I babysat a friend's son and he was 1.5 and his still looked like a wound.
post #6 of 50
5/5/05 at 11:42pm
Thread Starter 
after reading your responses, I realized strangly that I have not asked to hold him before either. The only reason why I changed his diaper is beause his mom was in mid change and her other DC needed her so I took over to finish the job. I don't understand why I havn't wanted to hold him, it's not his fault and I never even thought that could be the reason in fact I never even thought about it period. Strange.
Even so, it is hard to maintain the friendship after her having made the decision to circ. but I value other aspects of our friendship and am taking the good with the bad. The whole situation just makes me pray for a change in societies way of viewing circ.
post #7 of 50
5/5/05 at 11:47pm
i was speaking with the sil about this one afternoon--after i was invited to a briss. we both agreed that for some reason, though both our husband's are circed, the circed baby just looked really funny. she even commented that when she saw one she wanted to pull the foreskin down to cover it, it looked so exposed and vulnerable.
post #8 of 50
5/6/05 at 1:39am
I feel the same way. The couple times I've changed circed boys I have been upset for days afterward that I avoid it if I possibly can. It isn't the baby's fault so I try to smile and play with him when I'm doing the change but inside I just feel sick. The last time was last summer and the little boy was almost 3 and it still looked like a wound to me. It just looked so wrong. I just don't get how a parent can do that to their child.
post #9 of 50
5/6/05 at 5:41am
apmammaof2 and A&A and ................. and ..............

post #10 of 50
5/6/05 at 11:14am
A lot of times it *is* still a wound when they are 1 year or more. Doctors are doing more loose circs now and the leftover foreskin they are leaving is re-attaching to the glans like it should be. If the parent would leave it alone it would eventually natually seperate (sp?), but they are usually instructed by doctors to forcefully retract at every diaper change and apply neosporin or another ointment like that. The forceful retraction causes bleeding therefore the "wound" look. Sad isn't it?
post #11 of 50
5/6/05 at 11:39am
wow...i didnt know about just haw awefull it is! how bizzare! wow it is just such a strange demented idea to start with. I am just sitting here sort of blown away, i guess i just never thought about it really, I'm looking at my little guy and can not imagine having a piece of him cut off, especially his precious little widdler! *sigh* just another area of absolute nonsense we seem to be in the midst of...I guess im angry now grrrr!
post #12 of 50
5/6/05 at 11:53am
my nephew is intact but i think his mother did the forced retraction thing. he is 5 months younger than my ds and fully retracts. i remember he was very red and swore for a while. but yeah, she does it with every diaper change... i think she thinks i'm weird cause i barely pay attention to it when i change my ds's diaper... boy:
post #13 of 50
5/6/05 at 11:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by acp
my nephew is intact but i think his mother did the forced retraction thing. he is 5 months younger than my ds and fully retracts. i remember he was very red and swore for a while. but yeah, she does it with every diaper change... i think she thinks i'm weird cause i barely pay attention to it when i change my ds's diaper... boy:
Have you pointed out to her that she is scaring him for life? She can cause some major problems if she continues this. *Most* men that have gotten infections and problems later in life and get circumcised is because they were forcibly retracted as infants. Ask Feebee or Frank for more info on this.
post #14 of 50
5/6/05 at 12:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathryn
Have you pointed out to her that she is scaring him for life? She can cause some major problems if she continues this. *Most* men that have gotten infections and problems later in life and get circumcised is because they were forcibly retracted as infants. Ask Feebee or Frank for more info on this.
i don't think she realized that she did it. i think when it initially happened, it was an accident. now, i think she feels he is full retracted and so she is making sure "to keep it clean". i'll mention it to her though....
post #15 of 50
5/6/05 at 5:20pm
Thread Starter 
Poor little guy. It's a great thing she decided not to circ, it's just too bad she didn't learn how to take care of it. I too NEVER even touch the little thing unless he's had a poopy diaper or something, sorry tmi.
My mom asked me the other day why I don't even wipe it off with wipes at changings (she didn't agree with us not circ'ing), and I just told her I didn't see a need to clean it unless it's dirty!
post #16 of 50
5/6/05 at 6:38pm
apmammaof2,

i'm a minimal wipe user myself, so i understand. and it has worked so far: no full blown diaper rashes to date!

my nephew's mom actually taped the penn and teller thing for me and she was very happy she didn't circ, i'll be sure to find some more info for her though about leaving it alone....
post #17 of 50
5/6/05 at 7:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathryn
A lot of times it *is* still a wound when they are 1 year or more. Doctors are doing more loose circs now and the leftover foreskin they are leaving is re-attaching to the glans like it should be. If the parent would leave it alone it would eventually natually seperate (sp?), but they are usually instructed by doctors to forcefully retract at every diaper change and apply neosporin or another ointment like that. The forceful retraction causes bleeding therefore the "wound" look. Sad isn't it?

Is THAT why my nephew STILL screams at every diaper change? I've never had the heart to ask.
post #18 of 50
5/6/05 at 8:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
Is THAT why my nephew STILL screams at every diaper change? I've never had the heart to ask.
Most likely. Doctors tell the mothers that if they don't retract it the skin will be adhered forever and will "look funny" (as if it doesn't already?). They tell them the only reason the baby is crying is because it feels like brush burn under the remains of the foreskin. They tell them if they don't retract what's left they will get infections and UTI's and on and on and on...
post #19 of 50
5/6/05 at 9:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by acp
apmammaof2,

i'm a minimal wipe user myself, so i understand. and it has worked so far: no full blown diaper rashes to date!

my nephew's mom actually taped the penn and teller thing for me and she was very happy she didn't circ, i'll be sure to find some more info for her though about leaving it alone....
http://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/peron1/ is superb in that regard.
post #20 of 50
5/6/05 at 10:40pm
I am new to this discussion but I'm reading here lately to learn should I ever birth another son.

I read this thread yesterday and wanted to say something and did not--however, it bothered me all day so I want to understand.

1. How does this make you lose friends?

2. Why does it make you not want to hold the innocent baby?

I don't understand that at all.
We don't vaccinate our son--I've poured tons of time and passed out info to educate my friends and all of them have chosen to vaccinate--I seriously disagree with them but I wouldn't allow it to ruin my friendship.

I just need help understanding--because my little boy was circ--I didn't hear of this side of the story until right before he was born--I didn't have time or resources to make any sort of decision. I would be so sad to think that someone wouldn't have wanted to hold my precious baby because of my decision.

I am not arguing--I am 100% really trying to understand.
Thank you
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Health › Circumcision › changed a circ diaper today