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Getting ANGRY with bed wetting??

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I'm hoping to get a response that will validate my feelings here... I think I will.

My 6 year old wet his bed last night. He wets the bed MAYBE 2x/ year. I know that there are many children that wet the bed more often, for some it's even a problem... One that, in my opinion, is not their fault.

So I was talking with my best girlfriend and casually mentioned that Owen wet the bed. She made a remark that I must have been furious. I was blown away. I responded 'how could I get furious, when he's SLEEPING. He's not fully aware of his body while not being fully concious'.

She was now blown away. She said that any other mom would have not been happy. That if her 4 year old wet the bed, she would be very angry with him.

This breaks my heart for this little boy, but also makes me think, is her comment about me being too lax about things right?

Regardless of the answers I see here, I would NEVER get upset with Owen (or Caleb) for wetting the bed. If it was a regular occurance, I might get FRUSTRATED, but would NEVER NEVER NEVER make him feel as though he's done something "wrong" or "bad". I would not be too keen on allowing it to continue, but I would work WITH my child on finding a way to help him stop. I'm pretty sure that when children wet the bed, they're not overly thrilled, and feel somewhat uncomfortable about it, themselves.

How would you react/ How do you feel when your children wet the bed on accident?? Am I really alone on my position???

Warmly,
Emily
post #2 of 12
Hi, how are you? We don't live near you now but I remember when we did!

My 5 1/2 year old regularly wets the bed, but I expected it. My husband and his brother both wet the bed well into thier teens regularly and I have two cousins who did also. So I think it must be some thing genetic, they sleep too hard or have tiny bladders or something.

What I am surprised about is that my youngest started staying dry at night just before he turned two!

If its a regular occurance you just keep them in pull ups at night they don't want to wake up in a puddle, it is no fun.
post #3 of 12
no you are not alone. my seven year old is not nightime trained. he wear a pull up ant night and it leaks. i never get mad. it is just his body.
post #4 of 12
As upset as DD was that one time she wet the bed (so far), I'd never ever do anything or say anything to make her even more upset! I was too busy trying to help her feel better, telling her that everyone has accidents sometimes, to get angry with her.
post #5 of 12
My DD stayed dried at night even before she could stay dry during the day, but we've had a handful of nighttime accidents. No, I don't get mad either. Its a PITA, but its an accident.

I think your level of frustration and/or anger can be determined a lot by YOUR expectations. If you have unrealistic expectations for your child, then you're GOING to become frustrated and angry. I think this idea really plays itself out with nighttime parenting in general. People who expect infants to sleep for 8 hour stretches are going to get more worn down by nighttime parenting than those who can accept that waking every 2 hours through the night is normal and to be expected.

Yes, bedwetting can definately run in families. A friend has a DD, and they come from a long line of bedwetters. She really shows her DD how frustrated she is, and gives rewards for when she stays dry. She talks very openly about how her DD "pissed the bed again last night". It really bugs me. Its vulgar and more importantly, I think its really disrespectful to her child.
post #6 of 12
I'm with the other mamas....I wouldn't be furious either...My son is going on 6 and hasn't had a dry night...we're going to see a urologist in a a week for the workup because we've tried everything!
post #7 of 12
Totally a medical or environmental issue - not a discipline issue. And I am so sad for kids with parents who think otherwise.
post #8 of 12
Honestly, I think your friend needs therapy if she'd get mad at her kid over something they can't control. It's like getting mad at them for having a nightmare. That's just wierd.

My brother told me that about 1/2 the kids in my nephew's 2d grade class still aren't night-dry. (The moms talk, yk.) I hope your friend's kid is in the dry 1/2!
post #9 of 12
My six year old wears pullups. She can read, write, add, subtract and multiple but she cannot stay dry all night.

I'm thinking she will outgrown this before college.
post #10 of 12
It has been this (calendar) year that DD & DS both started not wearing diapers/"pull-ups" at night (they are 6 & 3.5).

I do not get mad when they wet the bed.

Okay, not last time but the time before when DS wet the bed I was pretty pissed. But that was because he had scootched up the bed close to my head and istead of peeing all over my shirt or pants like he normally does he PEED ON MY HAIR!!!!!

Is it too horrible that I just changed my clothes, put a towel down and went back to bed w/out washing my hair :

That yucked me out, but generally It happens. I get more irritated when it is obviously "their fault" (as in DS will swear he does not need to go to the bathroom before bed and then wets but will have a fit if we try to make him go ) but its just getting rare enough I don't care that much.
post #11 of 12
My almost 7 year old son still HAS to wear a diaper at night. He has been in underwear in the day since he was 2, but at night...forget it.
I don't ever get angry at him. He is more frustrated by it than I ever could be..why would I want to make him feel worse? (especially since his younger sister has been dry over night since she was under 2-meaning for the last 3 years he's had to see that she goes to bed in underwear, and he doesn't...poor little dude).
Back in September he had an accident at school. One of his friends was worried for him becuase if he has an accident HIS parents spank him, and he gets grounded! I felt so bad My son was shocked! (and I admit, I felt good that my son was shocked that this was a punishable offence).
post #12 of 12
I wet the bed every night until I was 10, and had occasional accidents until 14. There were no medical issues; it was purely psychological and stress-related. But my parents had no reason to be mad - from age 7, I would just put my sheets in the washer every morning, put them in the dryer, and make the bed. They didn't have to do any work at all. And I never wet the bed at anyone else's house, or while I had friends staying over, so there was no embarrassment factor.

Bedwetting is the least of my worries. Even if I am the one who has to wash the sheets, I find laundry to be one of the simplest chores ever, and I already do two loads a day.
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