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[Marlet]

Who here talks with the other parent? I don't mean the occasional hello to be polite but an actual conversation type talk....you know the kinds that let people know whats going on.


I didn't think I would really. Usually seems to be the case but I have talked to DSS's mom on the phone and now by email. Kind of nice not to avoid them. :LOL

[Katt2005]

I really want that kind of relationship. But so far its not that. But yeah, I'm hoping for it down the road.

[magnoliablue]

I do. I pretty much have since we have been together, but their marriage has been over a number of years, and she is remarried herself. I think when the exes have moved on into other relationships, it is a lot easier, than when the exes are alone. I think it is just a security issue, really. I do not feel threatened by her, and vice versa, and it also helps if everyone acts like grown ups. I know, sometimes thats hard,lol.
She and I meet halfway when my stepson comes down, we discuss anything he needs to get done such as homework, etc, if he is sick, we discuss meds, pretty much everything.
My fiance also talks to my ex and his gf as well, though my ex is a little more difficult at times, but then again, not as much time has passed since our divorce, and there is still a great deal of bitterness on his part.
I think it takes time and patience to build a good relationship with someone's ex, but I also believe it is something that is VERY important for the children involved. Everyone should be on the same page as far as parenting the children, and at least make an effort to communicate, even if you're never buddy buddy.

[Flor]

Originally Posted by magnoliablue

I do. I pretty much have since we have been together, but their marriage has been over a number of years, and she is remarried herself. I think when the exes have moved on into other relationships, it is a lot easier, than when the exes are alone.

Yep. Things seem smoother since she's gotten happier. It used to REALLY stress me out to talk to her but not really anymore. We don't talk often (though dss is there part of each week now) I don't hesitate to pick up the phone and tell her something or ask a question. That has taken a few years, though. It was much uglier at first.

[SillyTreeFairy]

This varies a lot to how happy she is. It drives me crazy because I basically have to give dh a list of things to remind her of or discuss with her which drive me crazy because he forgets half of it anyway so he'll have to bring it up again later. These are things that range from I dropped sunscreen off at school to who did she sign up to attend his school function, etc. Since I do the pick up and drop off at school on my own, I'm the one who knows a little a bit more of what is going on to ask her about.

At his once a week sport practice or game, I try to bring little stories up that are cute, b/c she handles the other stuff better if it comes from dh. We actually got a letter from her attorney once b/c I talked to his teacher. Actually, it was kind of fun to help dh craft a response to that one. There was no need to involve our attorney, since it was just ridiculous. Fortunately, the school realized that I am dh's abassador since he works about an hour from his school. They encourage my speaking with his teachers because they think it is important that both of dss's families be involved in his life. (I loved how they said families instead of parents). I got a bit off track, but since I do most of the school stuff sicne we bought a house in between where dh works and dss lives, and I work where dss's mom lives, it sure would be easier if I could just talk to her instead of telling dh ... make sure x,y, z, etc.

However, when dh & I set dss up with an e-mail account, it has been huge help with little communications with her. For example, he wanted her to be able to cook one of his favorite easy dishes so I had him e-mail her and at the end I attached the recipe with a note from me saying dss wanted you to have this. She has responded REALLY well to things like that and it has given me a little hope. I just feel as much communication as possible is important, and I hope that someday she'll start sharing more. Now the question is, is that hoping for too much?