I am Barbara Ellen Herrera, Licensed Midwife, Certified Professional Midwife - mother, lover, dyke, student (again!), business owner, Disneyphile, Orlandoan, Net addict, Jew-by-Choice, long-time doula, Certified Childbirth Educator, former La Leche League leader, photographer... and Writer (blogger, author, writer). Most of the time, my name is Writer.
If you met me: You'd smile, but would probably be annoyed off and on through the friendship, though. I'm rather soap-box-y when it comes to women's rights, especially in birth and mothering. People who know me either love me or despise me. I love me. (And that counts for a lot, doesn't it?)
You'll never guess: How much people's opinions mean to me, make me cry, make me smile - stress me out. As hard as I try to not care, especially with people I couldn't care less in spending time with or who annoy the crap out of me, I still sigh that people don't "see" me for whom I believe I am. I remind myself that everyone has their own walk and many walks are counter to everything my walk represents, but it's still incredibly difficult.
Writing is a compulsion and I do it because I would die if I did not. I was in jail once (well, twice, but this was the first time) and did not have anything to write with so began "typing." I wrote entire chapters of books in there and continued once I could barter for paper and pen several days later. Besides being able to get my fix, my phantom typing kept the other inmates away from the "fuckin' crazy bitch" in cell 2. Nice side effect.
No one knows this, but... *thinking* I'm thinking there isn't one thing people don't know about me. I think I am so blathering and so expository, there cannot possibly be one thing I haven't shared - from incest to alcoholic family members to bi-polar disorder to depression to serious eating disorders to vanity to marriage pains to mother-fears.
My favorite person in history is Sacagawea (by far!) because she was 14 years old when she embarked with her 2 week old son Pomp on her back to guide the Lewis & Clark Expedition across the country (and back!) - keeping them alive in many, many situations that would have otherwise killed them. She, the only woman on the trail, represents the strength and power we all, as women, possess. I use her as an example in my teaching quite often. (Many women in our culture whine a lot about harship and discomfort; Sacagawea, I suspect, did not whine much.)
Have you read _Running With Scissors_ (and _Dry_ and _Magical Thinking_) by Augusten Burroughs? His work is so maddening and so hysterical - it offers the potential possible in essay/memoir-writing. I passed it by many times in the bookstore until I heard, in one day, three people say the words (not even in relation to the book) and figured it was time to buy it - so did and devoured all three in two days!
Oh, and I have been published many times in many avenues. I wrote a book of (very) short erotic lesbian stories (Amazon.com me!), have collaborated on several books on Disney and food (I did food writing for many years until my gastric bypass 4.5 years ago), am regularly published in Midwifery Today, have been in Compleat Mother, many local magazines, but have giant aspirations to be heard when I write about birthrape and birth trauma. I'm in school right now working towards a Master's in Psychology so I can accumulate bunches of letters after my name so mainstream people/magazines/press will hear me better.
I'm verbose. Bet that fact is a total shock. *snortylaugh*

I can't believe I didn't know you all were here until tonight. Goodness, I best get to my homework.
Barbara E. Herrera, LM, CPM
San Diego
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