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just found out we're having twins!

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Hi, I was posting in the pregnant-people forum, but someone recommended i come here, because i just found out we're having twins! I'm 8.5 weeks, and I'm not having the reaction i wish i could have to this news....i want to be really accepting and ok with this -- maybe even happy/grateful for this unique opportunity -- but i'm terrified and i think DH is still a little in denial, and that's the only reason he's not totally freaking out as well. I really want to talk to some people who have been through this or who are just now getting twins news. I'm really scared about how we are going to deal with all the work of twins, and i don't feel ready (I know, i have some months to go, but still....). Are there other people out there at different stages of a twin pregnancy? Anyone i can talk to? I don't even know what i am supposed to be eating (or how i'm supposed to eat, when all i want to do is sleep all day).

K
post #2 of 29
First off, cogratulations and happy mother's day!

My twins are now seven months old but I found out at a similar time - nine weeks. We were together when we found out and both just started laughing. Twins? Us? It took awhile to get used to the idea but now I don't think we could imagine life without one of them.

I know a lot of people like Eliz. Noble's book but I can't recall its title. I read, and got a lot from, When You're Expecting Twins... by Barbara Luke. It's primarily about nutrition and gives a very ambitious eating plan. It's a quick read and talks a lot about taking care of yourself now to give your babes the best start possible. Another good book is Karen Gromada's Mothering Multiples. It's got oodles of breastfeeding info and practical advice, written from her perspective and experience as a LLL leader and mother of twins.

Are these your first? If so, what a great way to start!
post #3 of 29
Congratulations! It *is* really overwhelming, isn't it?! We found out at 5w pg (how ridiculously early is that?!) and were just floored. Do you have other children or will these be your first?

For what to eat (and various other twin stuff), I highly recommend Dr. Barbara Luke's book - When you're expecting twins, triplets or quads. Here it is http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

I think this book is so important for us twin mamas

Good luck! Twins are wonderful (of course!) and you can do this
post #4 of 29
Congratulations!

I so know how you feel right now. I could have written your post 2 years ago (my twins are 19 1/2 months old now). I was absolutely terrified. Dp and I never planned on having children. He was really ok with me getting pregnant unexpectedly, but when we found out it was twins, we were both in shock for a while. It took him until the babies were born, really, to understand what it meant to have two babies.

But it's really not as scary as it seems, once you've lived it. I promise. It's hard & challenging, but so, so, SO much fun. I can't imagine just having one baby anymore.

I also highly recommend Barbara Luke's book. She has lots of good info. on nutrition. I always had a hard time getting food in because I had severe morning sickness for the first 4 1/2 months (or so) and after that I just wasn't hungry because the babies took up so much room in me. I did a lot of protein powder on my food. I even got to like the taste of it after a while.

Another thing about Dr. Luke's book that I liked over all other twin pregnancy books was that it was the least scary. I found out we were having twins at 7 weeks & I read everything I could get my hands on. I really wished I hadn't because so much focussed on how things can go wrong in the first tri-mester. I was really stressed out about losing one or both babies. Dr. Luke's book was a calm, honest approach to a twin pregnancy, IMO.

And as for how you're accepting it now, don't worry. No reaction is bad at this point. You have plenty of time to adapt to the idea. One of the benefits of finding out so early, I found, is that you have plenty of time to mentally prepare for the crazy journey you're about to embark on.

Congratulations again. I'm not going through what you're going through now, but I've definitely btdt. If you want to chat more, pm me. I'd be happy to commiserate.
post #5 of 29
girl: boy: Congratulations, mama!

Sounds so familiar...in fact, the first words out of my mouth I cannot repeat here. I was terrified throughout the entire gestation. Lots of talking and planning kept my mind in the "I can do this" space.

Ditto on the Barbara Luke book. Our area had a university multiples program based on her studies that we were in.
If they have twins support groups in your area, that can be a resource during pregnancy.
Start a sign up sheet now for help
Doulas are great if you do not have a plethora of family.
I have a checklist I can send you of all our anal-retentive 'things to do'. Not that you need to do anything but rest and take care of yourself now!

You will do fine.
If you need anything, email me at twopeasinpod@ hotmail.com (no space). Really. I mean that.

Maya
post #6 of 29
to find local resources

http://www.nomotc.org/
post #7 of 29
Congratulations!

Sleeping all day is good! You're off to an excellent start!

I'd like to second everything Mamadawg said! I thought I was too old to even get pregnant and we never thought we'd have kids, much less twins. Mine are 15 months now & it's a blast! We just spent all morning playing with them.

Dr. Luke's book is great, she tells you exactly what to eat (although during my first trimester, I was too nauseous to eat much). I carried my twins 38w5d, and while some of that is no doubt luck, I also credit that book. Rest, stay hydrated, and eat as well as you can. Get used to going to your OB frequently. And then rest some more. Gestating is hard work.

Learn to take it one day at a time - this will come in handy later. Being nervous is fine, everyone is.

As a matter of fact I'll tell you the biggest secret - sometimes being a mommy really, really sucks! So if part of you is saying, I'm not sure I'm going to love this - don't worry, there will be moments when you won't love the work! But you will love your children, more than you can possibly imagine, and that will carry you through. I can testify to this b/c I'm the least domestic, least baby-oriented woman around -- and I LOVE being a Mommy!

For now, if you don't have it, get cable TV! I never watched so much television in my life as when I was pregnant! I was in pain all over & couldn't move around very well, so laying on the couch was how I spent my days.

Some more advice for down the road:

- If it's at all possible, arrange to have some help during the first few weeks/months after they're born. If anyone offers, LET THEM HELP!

- Get prepared early, like during the 2nd trimester. You might be put on bedrest during the last trimester, so don't put things off until then.

- Buy used. My Hubby was terrified about expenses until I came home from the thrift store w/a big bag of clothes I'd bought for $10. I did a lot of thrift store & garage sale shopping & bought utilitarian clothes for most of the first year (onesises & sleepers). Both of our cribs were used, along with the changing table & most of their toys. Friends, family & co-workers were incredibly generous & bought the "cute & fun" stuff, I stuck with the necessities.

- Get a copy of Dr. Sears "The Baby Book". It's full of wonderful medical info & advice on your newborn. Don't read it all now, just have it on hand for later. You probably won't need most of the medical information, but you'll want to have it at 3:00 a.m. when your baby has a fever & you're panicking!

- I also loved Vicki Iovine's books on pregnancy & the first year. It's soft advice, mostly funny, but made me feel better.

- After they're born, sleep when the babies sleep!!! Do not do housework! And whenever you have enough visitors to cover for you - get out of the house on your own & let them watch the babies! Even 45 minutes away can really help! Those strategies were the key to my sanity during the first months.

Good luck!
post #8 of 29

Twinshock is normal!!!!

So - you've moved from the pregnant-people forum to the pregnant-WITH-people forum and you're wondering why you're terrified? :LOL This phenomenon is universal and is called twinshock. Expect it to come in waves over and over throughout your pregnancy (and yes DH will feel it too and often at different times than you ) and continue as the babies grow. I think I'm finally over it - mostly. My girls are 19 months old.

I cannot recommend Dr. Luke's book highly enough. Again, it is When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads. Make sure to get the current edition, which also includes - ta da! - recipes! I also highly highly highly (etc) recommend her website nutrition service at www.drbarbaraluke.com. I purchased the service and found a counselor, mentor and friend in Dr. Luke. She even called me several times while I was in the hospital with complications. She is a gem, a true gem, and she really has done so much to help twin moms-to-be.

Another book to get early and refer to often (I still use this one) is Mothering Multiples by Karen Kerkhoff Gromada. Check out her website at www.karengromada.com. At some point you may become terrified at the prospect of breastfeeding twins, and she gives both reassurance and practical tips. Her site also includes a fabulous photos section of moms nursing twins.

Rest, eat, and allow yourself the luxury of cancelling EVERYTHING tiring or stressful in your life that you can cancel. You're going to be fine, you're totally normal! Welcome!
post #9 of 29
Congrats on your twin news!!!

If you look back to February on this board, I wrote a strikingly similar post when we learned of our twins at the "routine" 18 week ultrasound -- I think I was in shock -- real, serious shock -- for several weeks (all I could say, again and again, was "Holy sh*t" -- this from a person who doesn't curse very much. I just couldn't get beyond that phrase). The women here are amazing and gave me lots of good advice and encouragement -- so you already have a great resource.

And once that initial shock wore off, I read too much (add my name to the list of those loving Dr. Luke and Elizabeth? Noble's books) and started to worry worry worry about all that could go wrong. Now, I am 31 weeks pregnant and finally the excitement is starting to sink in -- what an amazing miracle it is to have TWO little ones growing and becoming people inside of you.

I can't give any advice yet on how life works with two newborns, but as far as pregnancy goes -- eat a LOT and rest a LOT and drink a LOT of water. When people offer to help, take them up on it. Even if it's stuff like folding your laundry, taking an older child to a park, making a meal. It's hard to ask for help but I have needed it so much already in this pregnancy.

Also -- go easy on yourself. I was frustrated that I wasn't able to do as much as I could with my first pregnancy, that I would get so tired so easily, that seemingly "easy" things like going to the grocery store or cooking a meal could completely wear me out. Then my OB reminded me just how hard your body works gestating twins -- he said something that your circulatory system alone works at 95 percent just sitting when you're expecting twins (I could be remembering the details wrong, but you'll get the gist of it) so any time you try to do more, of course you're going to get tired. That helped me be more gentle with myself and not expect as much of myself as I usually do.

Finally, check out a local twin club. I didn't click with a lot of the mamas there (very pro formula, CIO, etc) but by paying my $25 a year dues, I have a card that gets me 10 percent off (or more) at several local stores for baby supplies, etc. They are also a good source for hand-me-downs, etc. that you might need.

Congrats again. And welcome to the club
post #10 of 29
Almost everyone I ran into online insisted that with twins, CIO is a necessity. Bunk! We've been extremely AP with our twins.
post #11 of 29
Congratulations on your news!! I found out at 9-weeks that I was carrying twins and was shocked and so excited...then reality set it and I got scared and overwhelmed. But that passed and the excitement came back! My girls were born 12/02 at 38w3d and I give a lot of credit to Dr. Luke's book. I didn't see if anyone recommended "Having Twins" by Elizabeth Nobel but it too is a must have along with the "Mothering Multiples" book. I wasn't jazzed by my local NAMOTC (North American Mothers of Twins Club)...they were too pro-CIO, scheduling and very anti-bf'ing.

Are you due in 12/05? I'm pg too and due with baby #4 (an ultrasound showed ONE beautiful baby!) on 12/3/05.
post #12 of 29
Thread Starter 
Wow! Thanks for all the replies. This is our first pregnancy, so I have no way to compare it with any other experiences....this feels "normal" in a weird way.... A midwife gave me a due date of 12/17, and i think that's completely accurate, but i'm also prepared for the reality that things happen earlier with twins! I also started reading some scary stuff right at the start, about "vanishing twin syndrome" and miscarriages and stuff. Right now i'm just trying not to think about those things and instead just relax, listen to my body, etc. Luckily i haven't had morning sickness, but i still don't really feel like eating constantly. I think these book suggestions are great....I need someone to tell me what, exactly, to eat, and then i can just follow it!

I'm REALLY glad to hear about people lasting to 38 weeks and longer! A good friend just had her twins really early, and it was a rough, sick pregnancy throughout, culminating with pre-eclampsia and a c-section . Right after she had those babies i found out about my twins and that, i think, contributed to the twinshock! I don't know how i would deal with an experience like hers!

Anyway, thanks so, so much to everyone.....I would love to keep talking to people who are going through or just completed a twin pregnancy....it helps a lot! Thanks!
k
post #13 of 29
LOL about Twin shock! I like that term Congrats also! I don't think we really believed there were two until the day they were born. Start positive, read the books suggested, and my key to going full term with our twins ( 39 weeks 6 days), was to eat a 60% raw diet and eat often! Also, I had lots of chiro visits which kept me mobile. There is a lot of scary stuff out there. Read it once, and let it go...filling your mind with all the positives. Our twins (our 3rd and 4th children) are now 21 months, and it is hard and tough, and amazing and wonderful and joyous all at once! It was the experience of a life time!!!! They have exclusively breasfed from day one and are still going strong..it can be done! girl: boy: Here is our website... check out discovering twins to read my shocked response to the news... best of luck!
hughestwins.homestead.com

BTW>>>> Karen.. CONGRATS!!!!
post #14 of 29
Thread Starter 
homebirthed twins at almost 40 weeks! wow! I love hearing things like that!! (as opposed to...well, let's figure out just how high-risk your deviant pregnancy is going to be....ack)
K
post #15 of 29
Congratulations! I am right there with you I'm almost 12 weeks now (found out at 6wks) but these will be our 4th & 5th babies! Yeah- I still get overwhelmed if I dwell on it. And I am just now getting to the point where my appetite is starting to amaze me. I'm no longer forcing myself to eat. I can eat a whole meal and two hours later eat another one! No joke. And I find the need to snack almost constantly. My morning sickness is starting to get better so I guess that helps alot. I am already in maternity clothes and look about like I usually do at 4 mos! I got Elisabeth Nobel's book- Having Twins after hearing about it from these ladies and I couldn't put it down. There is lot's of good info there and she even has homebirth stories- A very normal view of twin pregnancy. The Barbara Luke book and Mothering Multiples are next on my list. Alot of people have recommended the Brewer diet to me as well- that will give you a good idea of what to eat. In the meantime- don't worry- your reaction is totally normal, like the other Mamas have said. Especially after your friend's experience. I've never know anyone personally who birthed twins vaginally so reading all the stories here really boosted my confidence. Everytime I hear of someone going 37+ weeks and having good sized babies and/or birthing vaginally, the more I think- I can do this!
I look forward to chatting with you here- we are only a few weeks apart (I'm due mid Nov)! I'll be your belly buddy
post #16 of 29
I think one of the reasons you read so many stories about twin complications is that older women are more likely to have twins. And their age is in itself a complication, even if they haven't developed any health issues over the years - my file was tagged "AMA" (advanced maternal age) right off the bat, even before they knew I was carrying two.

I was 38 1/2 when I became pregnant - quite unexpectedly - with my twins. And my twins were 5 lbs 12 oz, 19" and 5 lbs 14 oz, 20" at birth. My son was in the NICU, but not for prematurity - his leg was distended from being crowded in the womb, and he breathed in a little amniotic fluid during the C-Section & had pneumonia. Once they figured that out & gave him the right antibiotics, he was fine.

If you're over 35 or at all overweight, be sure and get yourself checked for gestational diabetes at about 20 wks and 26 wks. It's really common with twin pregnancy, but (in my case at least) easily managed with the right diet.

Also, my C-Section wasn't a big deal physically. I had a severe case of post-partum anxiety, but the surgery itself wasn't bad at all & I recovered quickly & could move around with very little discomfort.
post #17 of 29
Thread Starter 
is there anything i can do to prevent gestational diabetes before i actually get it? My husband and i had been trying to eat really low-sugar the past few months, so I kind of know what to do if i have to.....but the things that are feeling best in my stomach are crackers, toast, lemonade, rice....things i know you avoid in a diabetic situation! My doctor wasn't helpful at all, she was like "eat lots of carbs!" even though she knows we're veg....then i read that brewer diet online and i freaked out and bought a bunch of eggs, cheese, milk. i need to get that barbara luke book, but i haven't done it yet...

tonite i'm planning to call my mom and tell her....she's gonna be SHOCKED!! We've only been married a year (this month) and she was totally in support of our plan to "wait a few years" (which didn't work out), and i don't know how she'll react. Sigh. I've just got to get used to telling shocked people. And to not having DH all to myself anymore.

Southerngul: I'm so excited to hear you are right around the same time as me! And that you are doing ok at 12 weeks!

You guys are all totally correct about how there's so much weird news about twin pregnancies, because a lot of them are attached to other extreme situations. Actually my first cousin just had twins, and her pregnancy went by without incident. So i'll calm down.

K
post #18 of 29
The key to living with it was to combine a little protein with the carbs at every meal. I'd been drinking a lot of fruit juices & had to give those up & just drink straight water. Plus nibble frequently during the day. And actually those are good habits anyway, so I've tried to keep them up.

Now I've forgotten what it is that makes the diabetes so common w/twins, it has to do with two placentas or something, they throw your chemistry out of whack. Doggone it, I've totally forgotten what I read. But it was something very natural & there's a reason why it hits at the 20-24 week mark. For now just try to keep something in your stomach & don't worry about it. I was fine at 20 weeks & only slightly diabetic at 24.

I found that my emotions were zigzagging all over the place during the whole pregnancy. If you feel like that, try to relax & don't take yourself too seriously.

Oh, and my family wasn't exactly enthused when they got the news, but boy have they been great since the kids were born, a huge help. Babies have a way of bringing out the best in people.
post #19 of 29
Kir- I'm 21 weeks pg with our twins. We found out at 6 weeks, immediately after which I was slammed with 6 weeks of extreme morning sickness. Throughout that time I was miserable, feeling very negative about there being two. I knew deep down that I wanted them but I was so sick and exhausted and overwhelmed trying to accept it and then feeling guilty when I couldn't... It was a roller coaster. I was silently hoping I would lose one because I had only wanted one. But then I'd feel guilty for thinking that and not doing back flips with joy for this sudden miracle conception. When the MS subsided I finally allowed myself to feel negatively accepted the fact that this was not ideal, but it is what we got and forgave myself for not being completely overjoyed. After that I've been actually pretty excited. Especially when I found out we were having one of each, which is exactly what I wanted. I'm still terrified and I have no idea what kind of impact this will have on our family and our marriage, but I love my babies and I can't wait to hold them and meet them and nurse them. I'm actually really really excited now that the shock has worn off a bit.

I was glad to see your post, and know I'm not the only one out there who went through that. I went to a MOM meeting a couple weeks ago and everyone there seemed to have expected their twins because of IVF conceptions. I felt like I'm the only spontaneous ovulator in the county.

As for what to eat, I try to eat protein with every sitting. I've heard 60 grams a day for twins. I sometimes will drink protein shakes with double the powder in them for breakfast, that gives me half what I need in one shot. Also drink lots and lots of water (I try to get at least 3 liters a day) so your skin can stretch, and to ward off braxton hicks contractions. Granted this is my 3rd pg, but I'm 21 weeks and measuring somewhere around 35. I almost look full term already. Thats another thing I'm freaking out about- how is there possibly room for them??
post #20 of 29
Thread Starter 
Kangamom: Thanks for the advice about eating. I need to find a place to buy protein powder, because a lot of people have been mentioning that! I told my parents last night--about the pregnancy and about the twins--and i tried to talk with them about my ambivalence, and they were like, NO! It's good news! You have to have a good attitude and start loving the babies and planning for them. So I definitely didn't talk to them about those secret wishes that one of them will disappear or not make it. I feel so guilty about those sentiments, but i also have always felt it's better to get things in the open, not feel guilty about complicated/mixed emotions. At the same time, it was so FUN to hear how excited my parents are! They have such a great attitude about this, and that was nice. Plus i think they are going to come here in december and help us out, which is what i've been hoping for.
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