poker night...

[Beth-TX]

Okay, dads I need your opinions here. I'll try to keep the story short...

My dh has poker night every Saturday with his friends. They play with nickels, dimes and quarters and there is the inevitable drinking, smoking, cussing etc. I don't have a problem with any of this; I see it as a well deserved break for my dh.

Anyway, one of the guys in the group has a 13 year old daughter whom he occasionally brings with him to poker night. Last night, she decided that any time anyone swore, they had to give her a quarter. Everyone but my dh good naturedly went along with this. Now, my dh doesn't normally go around cussing a blue streak around children, but he didn't feel like he should be reprimanded by a 13 year old anytime he let something slip (in this particular situation). The girl's dad got upset and they argued about it. My dh felt like, and I agree, that if you're going to take your kid to poker night, gambling, smoking (not just cigarettes, but that's beside the point), drinking and cussing kinda come with the territory (the other dad apparently didn't think the gambling, drinking and smoking were a problem. And did I mention that these games generally go on til the wee hours?).

So, what's the concensus? Does the girl's father have the right to be upset with my dh or should he maybe just keep his kid home next time?

Thanks, everyone.

peace, Beth

[papabliss]

I believe your dh's friend has a right to be upset about anything he dang well wants to be upset about.

However, my guess is that his poor judgement of bringing his daughter to an inappropriate event had some to do with his anger/denial/displacement. His misguided attempt at parenting though a monetary reward/punishment for age-(in)appropriate behavior was a poor substitute for parenting.

Maybe your dh should have fined his friend for bringing his dd in the first place if the friend is so eager to place a fee on such behaviors.

But in the end, one should take responsibility for the actions that occur under one's own roof.

Sorry I cannot be of more help.

pb

[Beth-TX]

thanks for your comments, papabliss. To clear things up, poker night is not at our house, it's usually at our neighbors (he has no children to keep awake til all hours).

peace, Beth

[familyman]

the cuss-fine is a moot point, the real issue is the fact that men need a place to act out and leave some of societies rules at the door. this little girl should not have to be exposed to this behaviour ( not to mention second hand smoke, of any kind ). the father of this young woman needs to find a different outlet for his father-daughter night out. in all our years fighting for the ERA amend, it was forgotten that its ok sometimes to do things seperately. my dw would not take ds to a baby shower, not that he would not be welcome, just bored.