Is there something wrong with my kid? (v. long) - Page 3

[mommyofshmoo]

Originally Posted by UUMom

LOL And there are up sides-- My first HSC stopped wearing diapers on his own day and night at age 2.3 because he hated being wet.

Yep, we did potty learning at like 22 months and dd figured it out in about a week. She hated being wet and REALLY hated being poopy. She only pooped at night once in her whole infancy. Did it once and was like- don't like that!

Increased sensitivity may not always correlate to easy potty learning, but it seemed to with us.

[Foobar]

Mommy of Shmoo,

Goo is about the same age as Shmoo. She is not as picky, but she is finicky. We always give her some of our food, and we prepare something special too. For example, last night we had steak, mac-n-cheese, peppers and green beans. She had the mac-n-cheese and peppers and then experiemented with the green beans (Hey mommy! What are these? Are these seeds?...GOO Just eat that Damn Bean) (ok I didn't say it, but I thought it!)

Anyway, some of the picky is normal, but it also might be SID. It does sound like she may be on the spectrum of it.

The question for you is this:
Do you want to help her change this behavior, or do you want to let it go?

I am trying to help Goo eat more things. I always offer some food that I know she will like, but then we always offer foods that she hasn't tried, or didn't like before.
It is because I am tired of preparing two things (or thinking of two things), but also I am not going overboard because Moo is just starting finger foods.

Anyway, In my sleep deprived babble, I am tossing this back to you, does Shmoo's behaviour bother YOU?

[Dodo]

You mean some people don't mind being touched by wet hands?

[mommyofshmoo]

Originally Posted by Foobar

The question for you is this:
Do you want to help her change this behavior, or do you want to let it go?

I am trying to help Goo eat more things. I always offer some food that I know she will like, but then we always offer foods that she hasn't tried, or didn't like before.
It is because I am tired of preparing two things (or thinking of two things), but also I am not going overboard because Moo is just starting finger foods.

Anyway, In my sleep deprived babble, I am tossing this back to you, does Shmoo's behaviour bother YOU?

I suppose it bothers me sometimes, mostly around other people. Usually I think she's perfect- or pretty close.


I suppose I also worry about her. She doesn't seem to do well in large groups, which may be normal for kids her age. She's very sensitive to criticism, which makes it hard for me to send her out into new situations. I feel like many adults rub her the wrong way and don;t understand why. I know it's her sensitivity.

I plan to keep her home from preschool this year, partially because she's so sensitive. 15 kids are too much for her and a lot of "tough" type teachers scare the pants of her.

I think she's sweet and wonderful, but I hope her sensitivity is not holding her back from exploring the world more. Granted at nit quite three how much outside exploration should she really be doing?

[Foobar]

Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo

I suppose it bothers me sometimes, mostly around other people. Usually I think she's perfect- or pretty close.


I suppose I also worry about her. She doesn't seem to do well in large groups, which may be normal for kids her age. She's very sensitive to criticism, which makes it hard for me to send her out into new situations. I feel like many adults rub her the wrong way and don;t understand why. I know it's her sensitivity.

I plan to keep her home from preschool this year, partially because she's so sensitive. 15 kids are too much for her and a lot of "tough" type teachers scare the pants of her.

I think she's sweet and wonderful, but I hope her sensitivity is not holding her back from exploring the world more. Granted at nit quite three how much outside exploration should she really be doing?

Hmm, You know, Goo is in preschool, but she has always had this " I have to perfect something before I do it infront of other people" thing. She won't potty at school right now (or home) but we are working on that. Goo is also sensitive to criticism, so we try to couch it in a way that gets the point across without making it sound like a put down.


The teachers in her school are VERY loving and not tough at all.

On the outside exploration, it depends. Goo is into EVERYTHING. She is a natural scientist. She wants to learn and explore everything. Although yesterday, she flipped when an ant was crawling on the driveway.... She was upset that she found her friend "slimy" the worm "swimming" in a bucket of water.


I have found a lot of parenting is my own hang ups....

[mommyofshmoo]

Originally Posted by Foobar

I have found a lot of parenting is my own hang ups....

This may very well be my own hangup. We had a bad experience with preschool. It might have gone better in a different situation. Regardless, plenty of people don't enjoy large groups. 12-15 kids is overwhelming for a lot of kids probably. Dd doees better with, like, 5. Also,it's not like she cried all day at preschool. She holds it together when scared, she just doesn't like it.

Like all kids, the schmoo changes all the time, one months she's scared of bugs, the next she wants to bring worms and slugs inside to live with us. the hard thing for me is when I'm around other adults and I feel pressure to treat schmooey's interests and dislikes with disdain.

I get so frustrated when this type of thing happens with granparents becaise all grandparents do is whine that they don't see their grandkids enough. Sometimes I wonder if g-parents would do better with just pictures or movies, less actual toddler time.

[Linda KS]

Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo

I get so frustrated when this type of thing happens with granparents becaise all grandparents do is whine that they don't see their grandkids enough. Sometimes I wonder if g-parents would do better with just pictures or movies, less actual toddler time.

:LOL :LOL :LOL

I have a sister in law like that!!!!!

My older DD has SID and preschool would not have worked for her. She 8 now and loves doing things like Girl Scouts. Part of it was the other kids getting older -- she really couldn't take being around a bunch of 3 year olds acting 3 (serious sensory overload), but now that her peers have matured she quite enjoys doing things in a group.

The thing that prompted me to keep reading and researching and trying different things until I found what worked for my DD was that she often seemed uphappy.

[Foobar]

Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo

T

Like all kids, the schmoo changes all the time, one months she's scared of bugs, the next she wants to bring worms and slugs inside to live with us. the hard thing for me is when I'm around other adults and I feel pressure to treat schmooey's interests and dislikes with disdain.

Ok- TIme to drop that pressure. Shmoo is a person. She has real interests and dislikes. Would you ever flame an adult for deciding to not eat mushrooms? (I hate them) NO! So why would you force your child to eat them?

Is this pressure only with the grandparents? Or all parents? In my area of the country, people are pretty cool with kids. I once had an elderly man give me this look and say "How shameful! You are actually ENJOYING your child!" and then he winked!

[sillymommaX2]

I have a 7 year old DD who is the same way and always has been....

All her chicken has to be breaded and with an ample amount of ketchup available

She only likes ham steak and it has to be HOT.

Buttered long noodles only....

No crust

Only likes carrots but not cooked and ranch dressing on the side......and on and on and on......

She has been like this since she was little. My family and the in-laws have made her so self conscience about how she eats that I worry about her for the future. She asked me if she was weird b/c of the way she eats. I of course know she is a healthy little girl who is picky. Her doctor has never been worried and she is NEVER sick.

I hate when people comment about the way she eats so I can totally sympathze with you. You are doing the right thing by respecting her needs even if she is only 2.

I feed DD before we go places now. She politely says no thank you I already ate a big meal at home.

[Unreal]

It wasn't until I started reading more about SID because of ds1, that I realized how many sensitivites *I* have.
And the entire rest of my family.
My kids are just destined to have some SID issues

BUT...thankfully most of them aren't too terrible.
*DS1 won't touch peanut butter until it is with a ton of fluff or jelly (not that I would *ever* give my dear sweet child something like Fluff )
*He won't eat marshmallows (but is okay with fluff )
*Takes cold showers
*Can walk blindfolded down a balance beam, but can't jump with both feet or skip
*and probably the most frustrating for us--has very poor muscle tone and has a really hard time developing it. He gets physically exausted very easily.

But it isn't him pretending to be tired, ya know?
He really is exausted--at least that is the signal he is getting from his body.
VERY hard to deal with around other people, to say the least.

Oh yes, and he is a constant chatterbox. CONSTANT.

Ds2 hates getting accidentally/unexpectedly wet. He is fine jumping in puddles, getting rained on, taking a bath, going swimming. A wet dipe? Juice spilled? Forget it. It is the END of the World.
He also a lot of foods that are *blech*

And he also completely freaks over a lot of things that I think other kids would just move on past. He can't.
That is the difference.
We as the parents know our kids. We know the difference between something they just don't like and something they can't handle.
And it is our job to protect them and teach them how to best deal with those situations.
It sounds to me like you are doing an awesome job with your dd.

BTW, if you do want to do it, a SID evaluation isn't a big deal, you just go to an OT and the ask a billion questions and have your kiddo draw some shapes and jump and run and stuff like that. Ds1 had a blast at his and was sad to hear he wouldn't be going back--the symptoms he had at the time weren't severe enough to need OT...although I think he would have really benefitted from joint compressions and massage earlier than when I learned I could do them, which was..uhhh..this year (he is going on 10!)

[artgoddess]

She sounds totally normal to me. It seems the problem is with everyone else. Is there any chance that you could get your DH to read "Raising your Spirited Child"? I'm not saying she is spirited, but it might help DH if he thinks she is, and uses the tools in the book to learn how to accomidate as a parent.

[mommyofshmoo]

Originally Posted by artgoddess

She sounds totally normal to me. It seems the problem is with everyone else. Is there any chance that you could get your DH to read "Raising your Spirited Child"? I'm not saying she is spirited, but it might help DH if he thinks she is, and uses the tools in the book to learn how to accomidate as a parent.

That book was so helpful to me.

My dd is certainly spirited (well, at least fiesty), she is stubborn, etc. The thing is, untill I read that book I didn't realize how much her sensitivity leads to the "spirited" behavior.

I feel like I learn more and more about what she needs and our relationship just gets closer and closer because of it. I cannot imagine how adversarial our relationship could have become by now if I didn't understand her sensitive, shy nature.

I don't think most other people get that she is sensitive because she's not quiet, and in familiar situations she's very, very confident. People don't understand that often children respond with anger or defiance when they are really hurt or embarrassed. (Adults too I suppose!)

Luckily DH usually takes his cues from me, so he is doing better and better too. We've been communicating better and doing some fun family stuff, plus he's been spending more time with dd. All this has contributed to better vibes all around.

[mamapajama]

No time to read the other posts, but I just wanted to say my ds is very similar in the food category. He is almost three. Very very picky. He likes his foodsto be a certain color, eats no vegetables, few fruits, no crusts, picky picky picky. I don't push it. He is healthy. His dad is picky too. I don't knowmuch about the SID stuff, but she sounds normal to me, and quite wonderful as well.

[Foobar]

Marshmallows and Fluff have completely different textures....

I can't eat an omlette. I nearly gag. Don't even offer me quiche. I love scrambled eggs. All textures....

[mommyofshmoo]

Originally Posted by Foobar

Marshmallows and Fluff have completely different textures....

I can't eat an omlette. I nearly gag. Don't even offer me quiche. I love scrambled eggs. All textures....

You really think that scrambled eggs have a different texture than an omlette?

Allright, obviously I'm not a highly sensitive person.

I do hate all vegetables with slimy seeds, though.

[MamaMonica]

I second that a SID evaluation is no big deal for the child- and that way you'd know what you are dealing with and some techniques you can do at home to help if there is a problem.

There is no way to really know other than an OT evaluation. Good luck!