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Should Step Parents Discipline? - Page 3

Poll Results: Should StepParents Discipline?

  • 59% (70)
    Yes - if there is behaviour to be redirected, why not?
  • 9% (11)
    No - the bio parent should always do it; no matter what
  • 7% (9)
    Sorta 1- Bio parent should be notified first- then step can go ahead
  • 23% (27)
    Sorta 2 - both parents (bio or step) should do it together always
117 Total Votes  
post #41 of 45
I voted yes too...
I have been in dsd life since she was 2 and she will have memories of me being there....I love her as if she were my own....

If the behavior is happening when I am home and dh is not (which is usually the case since they have him working lots of overtime lately bc they are installing new systems at work) then why should I wait 4 or 5 hours after the behavior to do or say something (by do i don't mean hitting and such) to her about it when it won't mean anything and at 6 she will say yeah, so???

DH and I sat down long ago and discussed it......
post #42 of 45
If you discipline your bio children and not your step chilren, how is that going to make them feel? All of them?
If I treated my DSS different than I do my other children, he wouldn't think that I love him. Or that I love him less because I treat him different.
I don't believe in only bio parent disciplining because you have the whole tattling effect going on. Oh, there goes stepmom tattling on me again. That can't be good for them.

When we got married me dss became mine as well, though he doesn't live with us full time (although that may soon change), he is one of my children and I will treat him as such. He actually appreciates it. He doesn't get much training and disipline from bio mom, in fact, not much attention at all-sadly.
post #43 of 45
i think steps should of course discipline...in the manner agreed upon.

my 3 stepsons (or dancing carrots, lol) live with us 50ish% of the time.....because dh works, sometimes they are here with me alone....what, I'm suuposed to just wait until he gets here and then "report" to him what they did??
I'm NOT a babysitter.

i discipline them as well as their little sister(who is my biochild).
They understand that they are to obey ADULTS in general, not just parents.....and that if they are rotten, they will be punished.....

but i do always punish them in the way that i know their parents do, and approve of....
post #44 of 45
My husband is the only dad she knows, so I don't think it's like a situation that Dr. Phil may have been referring to. At first, though, he was like this fun friend who taught her to ride a bike and could throw her in the air. He wasn't comfortable disciplining her. But I started to see a problem because she would run him over when I wasn't around. I had to tell him that he needed to enforce rules. Luckily, we don't have a lot of rules, but now he's comfortable in his role as her father. I'm still the main disciplinarian, I guess. (As far as, "Time for bed," "Time for your shower," etc.) We just don't do a lot of punishment. But I think it's important for someone to be comfortable in their own home, you know? So for some situations, the comfort issue is with the stepparent, and with some situations, the comfort issue if with the stepchild. I think things would be different if my daughter was a teenager, and I think things might be different if her bio dad was still in her life. Also, I'm pregnant, and we'll have more kids, so it would be weird if my husband couldn't discipline them all the same, I think.
post #45 of 45
I did not read any replies but in our blended family I am MOM when they are here and they respect me as that. I love them as my own and I make decisions for them and our family.. I treat my SK's exactly as I do my bio kids - really I do!! Dh is looking over my shoulder and agreeing LOL. We have been married 10 years and my Sk's are 13 and 11. I've been step mom for a long time.
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