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i just let my weaned dd nurse again

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
she weaned at about 27 months, when i was prego and in pain nursing. we were only down to once a day but she probably would've kept it going for a while longer. so she's always been nostalgic about it and i thought she'd be all over me when ds was born....she wasn't. didn't even ask.

one day when i was dressing, she ran over and just latched on! ( she's almost 3 now, so this is about 8-9 mos later. it was only for a second and then she stopped.

well, today after a major meltdown, we were rocking and she says, " i want nunny milk." i said, "you do?" and she shook her head with this pitiful little look. i said, " you can have a little bit." she nursed for maybe 3 minutes and then stopped. she was sooooo happy when she was done, and i really felt like it was the right thing b/c she's been having so much trouble adjusting to her new brother.

i always told myself i'd do it if she asked. i just don't want to be full-blown tandem nursing. i know that i would want to set limitations. but how? what do i say to her if she starts asking all the time? i don't want this to cause a war with her baby brother. ugh, maybe i should've thought this out before it happened...
post #2 of 13
I think you should do what you are comfortable with. If you don't want her to nurse all the time, set up limits right off the bat. You could make it something like only after nap or before bedtime or something like that. Who knows she may only ask if she is really upset about something. But you've got to let her know what is and isn't acceptable so that she doesn't get confused. It is so natural to want to comfort your child and what is more comforting than nursing! What a good mommy you are.
post #3 of 13
Thread Starter 
i'd love for her to only nurse when she's really upset like yesterday, but how do you explain that to a kid her age? she tends to be a drama queen so she might try to say she's upset when she's not and then i would have to say," you're not really upset" which basically tells her i don't believe her. that could end up bad.
post #4 of 13
You can play it by ear. She may never ask again. It may just be nice for her to know they are there if she really needs them which you proved. She does need to know that the baby gets first dibs on the milk because he cannot eat big food yet. She gets to have fun things like, (insert favorite foods here.) When my dd was 3 that was easily grasped. She will ask to hold them still, but I just got so touched out that I try to offer her something else like holding my hand.
post #5 of 13
I've been thinking about this. Maybe you could figure out how amny times a day you feel you are comfortable with her nursing. Say you decide 3, give her 3 tickets in the morning, and tell her she can decide when she want to cash them in for nursing, and when they're gone, she is done for the day. That might help to cut down on the drama queening a bit. I'm not sure if that will work, but at 3 you may begin to be able to reason with her if it gets out of control. Good luck
post #6 of 13
Thread Starter 
race_kelly...thanks, that's a good idea.

i just had a talk with her today about how ds needs to nurse a lot b/c he doesn't have teeth to chew, etc. and that she is a big girl and can eat...

i still haven't figured out what i feel comfortable doing. i guess i shouldn't have done it without having this figured out yet. the fact is i don't want dd to end up nursing for a long time---i was ready when i weaned her before. i just followed my instincts that day when she asked. i really felt like she needed it. she probably would only nurse for a short time anyway, and i keep telling myself that. it's just what she needs right now. but i am scared that it will end up being a really long phase and i'd have to "wean her" all over again. this has got me feeling really crappy about myself!
post #7 of 13
Oh, don't beat yourself up! You are obviously such a good mama, and I know how hard weaning can be, to go through it twice would be rough, especially whe trying to bf an infant. It is also so difficult when you bring a new baby home. Your brain is probably in a complete fog. I remember so many times when I had a newborn, when I couldn't remember whether I had a shower that day or the day before : !! I think that whatever you do, it will work. It is just trying to decide what that is that is tough. You obviously spend plenty of time with your ds1 and she is not wanting in love. Give yourself credit for all you do! We mothers often forget we are human too, and can only do so much. Can you even imagine judging someone else as harshly as you probably judge yourself?
post #8 of 13
I weaned Dd during this last pregnancy at 2 1/2 , I was just so uncomfortable. but now after i had m y ds she is always sitting next to me when i nurse the babe and she wants to rub on my breast. she has yet to ask to nurse, but if she did, i would probably do the same thing you did.
post #9 of 13
She's been through a lot these days, accepting a new baby. I think it's great that you allowed her to nurse. If she only nursed for 3 minutes, I think she'll likely nurse just a little bit from time to time. Also, I think because she stopped nursing for a while, she would be willing to accept limits such as only nursing once a day.
post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 

well i've made a concrete decision

...to nurse dd again.

the other day the answer really just came to me. she's started to ask a lot and i kept saying "not right now" until i figured it out. then the other day, i just tried to really think of her as my babygirl again, and i realized that she needs me and needs to nurse right now. so, putting all fears aside, i am going to nurse her again. it's been so hard for me to think of her in that way b/c she just seems so grown up compared to the little one. but i finally do. and i think that this is going to not only help her, but me, too to bond again since we've been having so many behavior issues here.

thanks again for the support everyone.
post #11 of 13
I used to nurse here and there when my younger sister was nursing. I clearly remember walking up to my mom and sister, while they were in bed and my 2 yr old sister was nursing, and having some breastmilk from the other breast. I must have been around 4 at the time.
I'm so glad you feel good about it I have a feeling she won't be full blown nursing again. My son has nursed twice since Amelie was born but he never stays on for long and he always seems so satisified that I let him whenever he asks.
post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
yeah, my dd looks so happy while nursing. her eyelids got all heavy just like they did when she was a baby. :
post #13 of 13
I weaned my DD in order to get PG. I didn't want to nurse her again and she hasn't asked, but I did offer her EBM in her sippy cup. She tried it but wouldn't drink it!

I'm glad you have found a way that both you and DD can be happy.
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