What happens when *I'm* sick??

[PumpkinSeeds]

and I mean sick with high fever, sore throat, tonsils the size of tennis balls and dh has to be at work for a deadline that has to be met by tomorrow?

I'm in a new city, far from family and friends and the few people I know here I don't know well enough to ask for that kind of help.

To my dh credit he did go to work late and he came home a bit early so I know he tried.

but the kiddos turn into wild crazy needy little beings the moment they notice that I'm not up to par. They sense the weakness and they go for the throat..

:LOL

sigh...

I don't feel good so

Who mothers the mother?

[PumpkinSeeds]

I guess I'm the only one without a backup plan.

[Greaseball]

Well, I told dh that he has to call in sick if I am sick. He did this last week. But if he did have some important event, I suppose I'd be without a plan too. The day after dd2's very difficult birth, I was without childcare for the older child because dh was conducting a choir concert. I couldn't even walk without holding on to someone, so I just sat in a recliner with the newborn and dh piled diapers all around me before he left and I just threw the dirty ones on the floor and the older dd was neglected, basically. We have grandparents in town but they have too many health problems to be able to provide childcare. And since I have a baby, I can't just leave the kids alone with a box of Cheerios and the TV. :LOL

I think it's an issue most SAHMs face. I know some whose dh's don't even call in sick at all.

[NaomiLorelie]

Yup, I'm planless too. My DH doesn't seem to think that I get sick days either so that makes it worse. It's tough to get him to come home or go to work late. I get migraines and there have been a few times where I am stuck lying on the floor with children crawling all over me while I try not to puke on them. Now that has caused some marital tension. I think he might be getting the picture now but I won't know until I get a migraine again.

[L.J.]

You mean you're allowed to get sick?????

I'm a single SAHM and I had a bad 6 week illness this past fall. It's tough. My kids really sensed how sick I was and were pretty amazing, despite being so young. I rented some movies & slept alot beside where they were playing.

It's tough when we get sick as moms. I guess we have to mother ourselves.

[PumpkinSeeds]

I guess I'm lucky in that I hardly ever get sick. However, when I am sick, I am on the curb. Today I'm feeling better, but sheesh, no sick days ever.

And my luck is my dh will get it over the weekend and spend the entire weekend sick *in bed* no less.

[thoesly]

Originally Posted by L.J.

I rented some movies & slept alot beside where they were playing.

That's what I usually do, too. We all go downstairs to the play area, and I block off the stairs to keep everyone confined in case I doze off. Then I put in a video and rest on the sofa while they play. If I really don't want to move, I bring down some snacks (otherwise, I have a strict "food in the kitchen" rule).

[ekblad9]

When I'm sick or otherwise unable to perform up to standards all hell breaks loose here. It's OK, though, because it all goes back to normal eventually. The kids eat cereal and fruit for all meals, the bigger ones put on videos for the smaller ones, crayons, playdough, etc are left out for entertainment.

[indie]

TV becomes my babysitter. I actually bought a small cheap TV for the bedroom so I can stay in bed if I get sick.

[Eman'smom]

You want to know my plan, suck it up, and be grumpy at dh.

Two weeks ago I got what I swear was strep and an ear infection, there is no way a throat and ears can hurt like that without major infection. I was seriously ill, the dr's was booked, my only option was the "walk in clinic" which is typically like a 2 hours wait. I told dh there was no way I could sit there that long with the kids, he tells me, "oh so you aren't going then" He didn't take an hour off, didn't lift a finger here at home nothing (this has caused a major problem). Anyway I feel like death for a week, the only SAH friend I have that I'm comfortable leaving the kids with just had a baby so I wasn't going, to leave kids with germs with her. Then the kids get it, so I'm still sick but on the mend went to the dr's 3 times (2 ear infections and pink eye). Dh again nothing. But now he's sick, and his life of course stops and has to lay around getting well

[abac]

I've tried to get dh to call in sick, but he won't. Lucky for him he doesn't call in when he's sick either. We have T.V. days when sick. I guess if I really felt like I was going to DIE or something, I would call my mom or sister or grandmother. (Yay for family. I am blessed.)

[aprons_and_acorns]

If i just don't feel good, then I just suck it up and do my work, just like when I'm WOH. But if I'm sick for real, then dh calls in and takes care of ds (both of us actually). I do the same for him (we both work pt and take turns being the SAHP). Deadlines or no. Luckily for us we can both WAH if we need to, and we are generally well and don't get sick a lot.

[crunchy_mama]

ummm, try to make sure all is pretty well babyproofed and let him play and crawl on me, while I try to rest. DH works nights and sleeps day so if I feel real bad he doesn't get to sleep. Although any time I feel the slightest bit ill, he is "deathly" ill, so I get very little help without a sad pathetic look and act, so I either ignore that he is acting sick, or be a bitch to him and take care of him anyway. Touchy subject here today as I have not felt well and dh slept all day as he is sick as well...

[aprons_and_acorns]

Although any time I feel the slightest bit ill, he is "deathly" ill

Seriously what is WITH that? My dh does this too, and so does my sister's dh and one of my gf's dh.

[USAmma]

I know what you mean. I don't ever have help, never have. I have horrible seasonal allergies and of course the regular stuff you get from being around little kids. I just take meds and do the bare minimum to make sure the kids are fed and diapered and that's about it. I hope you feel better soon so you can go and start making new friends.

[chalupamom]

When my youngest was, well, younger my back up plan was to moan and groan at my husband as much as possible and call him four times a day asking him to come home. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not. He's usually pretty good about it, though.

Now I have a "sick box" that contains art gear, books, movies, candy (shhh...don't tell anyone : ) and other stuff that is only available when I'm not feeling well. There is also an envelop with $30 cash in small bills for take out delivery. Since I hit upon this brainstorm - I, too, live in a town where I know very few people and am close enough to none to ask for real help - my sick days are markedly improved. Not great, but bearable. I tried keeping in the box stuff for me, too - like samples of beauty products and such, but I realized that when I'm sick it's not pampering that I want it's just relief.

The key to this is, the kids have to know what's in the box and that it's desireable so when you pull it out they're excited about it. If they have no clue what's in it or why it's special I don't think it would have the impact you want - shock and awe, but in the good way.

[lauraess]

Okay, Im with ya on this one: Even tho my family lives fairly close, my father works and my mom cant drive. I Could call on MIL but I'd have to be on my death bed, or near to do that as she works as well(her own bussiness but still i couldnt do it)
From experience this is how It goes: If i start feeling sick and think for a MINUTE that I might get just a little "MOTHERING" when dh gets home.... well, HA!!!!! HE GETS SICK!!!! NO KIDDING!
so now..... I just dont get sick. I dont know if it's attitude/mind over matter or that combined with the supplements I take and the zillion times i wash my hands a day but I am not getting sick anymore!!!
One day.... I'll get my pampering, my 'mothering', someone taking care of me in the sweetest giving, no-strings-attached-way........ Dont know when... but it will come
~L

[lauraess]

Originally Posted by Rowdypea

Seriously what is WITH that? My dh does this too, and so does my sister's dh and one of my gf's dh.

I read the above AFTER I pstd. It IS a THING with them. surely, some kind of 'temporary-childlike-attention-seeking-psychosis'. But, once it happened without him knowing i was sick, just came home being a moany baby.

~L

[Greaseball]

Some people say that's why men develop pgcy symptoms along with women - it's all about attention and sympathy and getting people to say "Well, it's hard for men too!"

My kids are never sick at the same time as me, but dh gets sick the next day. Then we argue about who is sicker and who has to do the work.

[chalupamom]

Originally Posted by lauraess

But, once it happened without him knowing i was sick, just came home being a moany baby.

~L

Ha! Don't they say that long-time couples eventually become so in tune with each other than they begin to experience these odd coincidences and....someday... even start to look like each other???