My son's taking Paxil

[A2whit]

Well, I know nothing about this situation and hope someone here might be able to steer me to information or questions or ... something. My son is 19. He has just finished his first year at a nearby university and is home for the summer. He has always been very responsible about his mental health and has sought out therapy when he feels he needs it. He definitely has had some stressful situations in his young life.

He had a rough year at school. A huge amount of his energy was taken up by a very smothering relationship with a girl. It ended badly, traumatically. I honestly understand when he says he was unable to focus on school at all. But he also says he feels anxiety about social situations. And i have to say that even in private, at home, he can be very difficult to be around. Sullen, sarcastic, not the child I knew. I had attributed it to teenhood, but maybe there's more to it. Depression definitely runs in the family.

anyway, he's now on Paxil. Anyone had experience with this? Anyone have a teen on it? Now that he's an adult, I can't talk to his therapist. Should I be worried? Glad? It's too soon to say if it's helping. He says he feels "weird" on it.

I just want him to feel joy again.

[MsMoMpls]

I have lots of experience with Paxil, I think it can be really helpful especially if there is anxiety with the depression. He should take it for at least a month before making any decisions about whether or not it is helping, unless there are severe side effects. Some "weirdness" is fine. I might ask him if he has been feeling suicidal. I think we need to ask that question more often, make it easier to admit to and talk about.

I suggest you ask his permission to talk to his therapist or go with him to a session. Of course 19 is an adult, but as a mom, you know it is also still a child. Boys... Men often have a hard time figuring out what they are suppose to talk about in therapy and any second set of eyes involved can be helpful. As a therapist, I love to talk to the parents of young adults.

Any more specific questions? I have been there as a mom of a very depressed teenager as well as my work experience.

[A2whit]

I think I will ask to speak to his therapist. And I will ask if he feels suicidal. I don't think he does; he has a burning passion, flying airplanes, and has a goal to finally get his license this summer. He's looking for a job and seems (for him) more upbeat. He came home from school very thin and drawn. Just found out he flunked two classes. I think it's just a really hard time for him. I hate the idea of some drug being a band-aid on a deeper issue and I keep urging him to keep seeing the therapist as well. Shouldn't he be seen through this transition?
So do people just stay on this indefinitely? I had social anxiety too as a teen -- never felt comfortable with my friends. But back then it wasn't a syndrome, it was just something you felt. I grew up. It got better. I am natually suspicious of these drugs all over the tv, teaching kids to take a pill rather than work on stuff through self-examination. On the other hand if he has a true problem... Sorry, just rambling... it's confusing.

[MsMoMpls]

Think about the problem as being very thin skinned. Of course he should be in therapy to help him handle being thin skinned but the meds might make him a bit less thin skinned (which is a neurological problem). The research seems to suggest that for many people, being on the drug for a year can greatly decrease the risk of a reoccurance, so he should stay on it for a year past feeling better. Most people don't do this. I agree that the commercials give the wrong message but I also know that for many people, the meds have so greatly improved the quality of their lives that I recommend them when necessary. Therapy is like climbing a mountain, meds are like taking the stairs, meds and therapy are the elevator.