How bout a 'taking babies/toddlers to work tribe?' - Page 4

[Earth Angel]

I also feel like they have me by the short curlies - if I lose this job, I'm pretty much out of work for a few years.

me too....i think this contributes to a lot of my anxiety about other people's thoughts about me being too privileged.....i don't want to lose my job by upsetting anyone or even have them say...well we need you to be around more cause others are getting upset.

The main thing I have going for me is that I was given 2 days (16 hrs) of working at home in place of a raise long before I was even pregnant with Ds#1...so that does bring me solace and should they ask me to be around more....I'll remind them that I have these 16 hrs and if they want to replace them with a couple bucks more an hour than that is fine.... not my first choice but.....My agency is really broke and super cheap (we're a non profit so its supposed to be that way :LOL ) so I think they'll keep me at home. When I really think about it though I think they trust me and that the arrangement is working for everyone.

OK...enough rambling....again though...I must say it is really nice to talk to others in the same situation and to know that my feelings and challenges about all of this are shared by others.

Have a Happy Day

[cyncyn]

I also already had a part time, flexible schedule for 5 years before getting pregnant. I think it helps your employer to know that you can get your work done without constant supervision. I haven't been able to do much from home (stupid dialup service) but I do have that option if I need it. DH is on vacation next week, so I may try to do some from home then. DD does not like for me to be on the computer or sewing machine during the day, so I have naps and nights only for any extra work.

My co-worker plans to get pregnant in the next few years, and I hope she brings her baby. Our office is not ideal for babies, having stairs and at least one large dog present every day. No one has any cubicle walls at all. It's a renovated attic in a 1912 house. I worked out of my boss' house also for the first 5 years and her infant neice was often present. I was so glad I left my corporate job behind to find a family-friendly employer. For anyone who is thinking about bringing their baby to work, I think finding a small business and establishing a good relationship prior to becoming pregnant would be helpful.

[alamama]

Thanks for the cloth diaper suggestions! I'm now trying to pack just enough for the day, without getting into my usual "but what if..." deal. Also, I got a new diaper bag that seems to be really helping -- big enough for my stuff and his stuff but not huge. It's easier now that I'm not juggling so many bags.

I've been back at work for 2 1/2 weeks now and so far, so good. Just a honeymoon? Hope not. I mentioned to my dh the other night how much I'm enjoying being back at work and he said, "You've got to contribute to something bigger than just your home and family. It's hard-wired into you!"

[mamabeth]

Originally Posted by alamama

I've been back at work for 2 1/2 weeks now and so far, so good. Just a honeymoon? Hope not. I mentioned to my dh the other night how much I'm enjoying being back at work and he said, "You've got to contribute to something bigger than just your home and family. It's hard-wired into you!"

I think that support is probably what's making it a good thing! What a fabulous dh. And your ds sounds like he's doing really well too. I'm pm'ing you later...

[kerc]

Originally Posted by alamama

Thanks for the cloth diaper suggestions! I'm now trying to pack just enough for the day, without getting into my usual "but what if..." deal.

ok I have one more "secret"....I keep a stash of disposable diapers + snacks (prepackaged crackers and peanut butter) in the trunk of my car. At some point I went to visit my sister and she's totally NOT into cloth diapers. She takes each and every poopy diaper out to the dumpster behind the farm (about a good 10 minute round trip). Anyhow, I took disposables and then in bringing all the luggage in, left the bag of disposables in the trunk. It has been fabulous in knowing I don't HAVE to overpack, the backup is right there. And we recently added the snacks when i kept getting requests from dd for snacks in the car.

[mommamin]

Originally Posted by nannymom

I CD at work. I just only the bring the exact amount I need and I pack everynight right after I get home to make it easy on myself. i also have a wet bag and a wipe bag that make managing the dirty diapers easy b/c they don't go into the diaper bag making it bulky and then all I have to do is open it up and dump it our when we get home.

I CD at work as well. I pack Keira's diaper bag the night before I know i am going in. Although, I tend to always have it packed so I can just grab and run, with the exception of food for her. I tend to over pack but I would prefer to have too much that too little if we were to get stuck anyway.

[athansor]

Originally Posted by cyncyn

I also already had a part time, flexible schedule for 5 years before getting pregnant. I think it helps your employer to know that you can get your work done without constant supervision. I haven't been able to do much from home (stupid dialup service) but I do have that option if I need it. DH is on vacation next week, so I may try to do some from home then. DD does not like for me to be on the computer or sewing machine during the day, so I have naps and nights only for any extra work.

We recently got satellite internet at home, because I couldn't get anything done working from home with dialup. Besides my 'regular' job, I teach a few online classes, and do both that work and some of my research from home, and dial-up was so slow it was ridiculous. I teach math classes, and students often scan their assignments and send them to me. Some of the files were so big, it would take a long time to download them to grade them. Our phone lines are also kind of problematic, and I would lose the connection often.

The satellite internet is not cheap, but I looked at it in comparison to what I make with the teaching job, becuase it really makes it possible to keep up with that job (especially over the summer, where we have to cram so much material into 8 weeks!)

Kerc- that's a great idea about keeping a stash of stuff in the car!

[wawoof]

:

I'm starting a new job in the fall, and I just learned that my maternity leave will be 6 weeks rather than the 8 months I was expecting (long story) - eek! And my DH doesn't have a job in our new location yet, thus funds for daycare are limited, and the awesome campus daycare won't have infant openings until the baby is about 3-4mo old. Plus, with DS, I recall that I didn't think he was ready for daycare until about 3-4mo. Sooo, I'm planning to take the baby to work with me for at least 3 months, and possibly part-time for an additional 5 or so months. I don't like working from home very much, because I like the adult social interaction at work, so I imagine I will be bringing the baby to my office. I will need a sitter when I'm teaching, but that's a pretty small fraction of my time at work.

However, I'm a bit nervious about being able to get any work done with the baby in tow, because my experience with DS was that it was really hard to get any work done with him around after 3 months or so, because he needed a lot of social interaction. If this baby has the same temperament, I'll have to start daycare at around 3 months old. If this baby is more content playing alone, I may bring him/her to the office with me for longer.

We plan to do full-time cloth diapers as we have done with DS. I will probably just keep a box of prefolds in the office, which I restock once a week or so, and take the dirties home daily. For daycare, we'll send AIOs or pockets, if the DCP is willing to do cloth.

Anyway, I'm really appreciating all your tips on how to make this work!

[alamama]

Whew, in some ways this feels like it is getting harder, not easier! I've been back to work about seven weeks; ds is three and half months now. I'm amazed at how much more social he has become in recent weeks, which is a joy, and also means he needs more and more interaction.

So a couple of questions, especially for those of you who work in office settings...
How do you handle naptime? At home for naps I usually wear him down in the sling or lay down with him and nurse (I can get up once he falls asleep without him waking). At the office, I need to be working at my computer. I will sometimes wear him in the sling -- walk to the post office or around the block until he falls asleep, and if I keep wearing him he'll usually stay asleep awhile. But sometimes, like today,it is just too hot -- wearing him that long makes him sweaty and uncomortable. But when I layed him down in the pack and play, he woke up after just twenty minutes or so. Then he was unhappy the rest of the morning unless he had my undivided attention, because he was still tired. That short nap is typical if I lay him down at the office -- he just doesn't seem to nap very well there. I only go to the office about three hours in the mornings, four days a week, and it doesn't seem to be a very effective setup if I spend half the time walking around the block and otherwise helping him sleep. How do others handle this?

Also, how do you handle baby interaction vs. work time? Do you just take little breaks for play then return to your work? What kinds of things does your baby do while you work? I've got a bouncy seat and play gym and he enjoys those for awhile...I'm fortunate to have plenty of room in my office for gear. I'm amazed at those who do this with limited space!

I've felt more frustrated than I would like in recent days, so I'm hoping to find ways to help this work better for us.

[Earth Angel]

hi alamama....congrats on your baby!!

just thought i'd answer a few of your questions with what worked best for us...

nap time: I would nurse him in my arms at my desk usually (and would try to do computer work with one hand!!) then I would try to transfer him to the bouncy seat. If I waited long enough it usually worked and then if he fussed I could bounce the seat with my foot. I always kept him foot distance away that way if he stirred i could rock him some more. he also loved the vibrations so i kept a lot of batteries around! The other thing that helped both my boys to sleep longer at work was some nice soft classical music playing in the background....seemed to keep the noise more steady than them hearing the random noises of the office.

baby interaction vs work time: that is a hard one....but i had many willing co workers that would play with the babys while i got some things done....this worked better for #1 than #2 as #2 is quite a mama only kind of guy. The other thing i tried to do was distract him with toys and such while working and then when home (you and i work the same schedule - 3 hrs 4 days per wk) give him my undivided attention for a while. not exactly the same but it seemed to work out ok. By 4 mo with my first he was going home with dad after being with me for about 45 min or so ( I work in the afternoons after Dh is done with work) at work instead of staying for the whole 3. Again, this wasn't as easy for Ds#2 but he started going with dad around 8 mo. Ds#1 would have a bottle of EBM and he was fine going with dad...Ds #2 has taken longer to adjust to the whole routine of going with dad and still can have a bad day at 15 mo.

it certainly is frustrating to be pulled in 2 different directions (work and baby) and that doesn't go away.....but it does help to find ways to ease it....for example ...if i felt like i spent too much time with ds cause he was fussy or whatever...then i'd stay at work longer than my designated 3 hrs...if ds could handle it that is.

Good Luck...you will work it out...but don't feel bad or get discouraged if every day isn't magical...it is a difficult dance to do some days and others things flow so smoothly it is amazing!!

[wawoof]

Alamama,

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time getting work done with your DC there. As I mentioned in my prev post, I found it pretty much impossible to work with DS awake after about 3 months - he was just too high in need for social interaction and I was too distractable.

However, I'm happy to share what worked for us re: naps - a comfortable reclining stroller. My DS would be really hot in the sling outdoors in summer, but he was much cooler in the stroller. We would stroll him to sleep and then stroll him back inside, just letting him sleep in the stroller. If he stirred, we'd wheel hiim around for a bit until he fell back asleep. To do this you'd need a comfortable stroller - FWIW, we have the Graco Citilite, which is compact and was very comfortable for DS when he was little. He's now outgrowing it, but he's a really tall 2y3mo old.

Good luck!

[mamabeth]

Hey Leanne, I was just wondering how things were going for you!

As far as practical suggestions go, it sounds like you're doing everything you can as far as trying to get him down for a nap. My dd would just nap right in the sling, but it was cold weather when she was that age. I would just type over her, and if she stirred I could usually stand up and jostle her back to sleep for another few minutes if needed.

But I think what helped me is something another pastor mama told me...she took her babe to work too...and she said that some days she just didn't get anything done and would have to say to herself, what is more important right now? I tried to focus on that and it helped...I would get Sunday stuff ready and not much else some weeks, because that's just what happened.

Hang in there and do what you can do!

[alamama]

Thanks for all the suggestions and support! Writing and reading your responses has made me really reflect on what HAS to get done at the office, versus what I can do at home. I think there are a few more things I can do at home, where it seems easier to stop and start, stop and start. I may also think about try to arrange an hour or two at the office in the afternoon when dh could be with our little guy.

When the fall semester starts I've been planning on hiring a college student to sit with ds two mornings a week while I have study groups. Another option might be to get someone three mornings a week, and use the third just to get some things done. I've tried this a couple of times and it has worked well -- ds is just in the next room, but has had someone to walk him, play, etc.

Again, many thanks for all your support. It's encouraging to know that others make this work and we can, too!

ps Beth, Thomas has gone in the church nursery three times now, and so far so good! One of the workers is using the baby bjorn with him - yea!

[mama2claire]

I just read through this whole thread and I think it's convinced me to ask my boss to let me try bringing baby to work! I'm 19w pg now and my boss has already asked me what my plans are. I work 20 hours/week (but could do the job in about 8, if necessary). I told him I'd either need to cut back to 6-8 hours/week or leave. He didn't say anything, but then today mentioned something about me helping his wife get trained on the computer before I go out.

Anyway, even though I've only been here a few months, I know my boss is happy with my work and it's a small office - just me working here or him when he's not on the road. I take very few phone calls - most of my work is bookkeeping/clerical/HR-related (it's a small company of 10 w/all the others being service technicians working on various job sites). After reading this thread, I thought - why not?! I really do have a great set-up. Now, the catch is that my 2 y.o. DD will continue to go to daycare 2x/week and if I cut my hours down, I won't really be making anything, just paying for her daycare, BUT she loves going to 'school' and I feel like having a new baby in the winter and then yanking her out of school is going to make her go stir crazy, so I'm thinking of ways to continue to afford her school since she loves it so much. I'm rambling now...

Thanks for all the tips and good ideas. I'll be checking back in over the course of the next few months if this idea pans out.

[mamabeth]

I thought I'd resurrect this thread because I am having a lot of anxiety about this second baby that I don't really want to discuss with people IRL yet...not even dh, who I pretty much discuss everything with...anyway, I am just so freaked out about taking two kids to work. I know I won't take both of them all the time, but there are days (like today...I've got to write my sermon now that dd's thankfully in bed after a hellacious no-nap day) when I know I will have to deal with both of them AND work and I just don't see how I'm going to do it.

One thing that is really a factor is that my little church, despite my best efforts, is not doing very well. We haven't really added any new families in months, and we moved into a nicer place with high hopes and it just isn't working yet. And I know I need to put lots of energy into it for a "last ditch" effort (our funding gets cut almost by half in January) but here I am, 8 months pregnant, and I can barely take care of dd and do the bare minimum. No way am I even physically able to do the work required (lots of walking and schmoozing, etc) to meet people right now, and I won't be for a while.

So all that is a factor, but mainly I just don't know how I'm going to manage Sundays with both of them and when dd doesn't have school. I love what I do, but I'm wondering if all this is spelling that I should make plans to leave sometime next year and let someone else with less "baggage" step in and do a better job.

Oh and we would be pretty much poor if I did that...we could get by without my salary but that's all it would be, getting by.

I know I'm totally venting, so please disregard if you wanna, but I know that you mamas know where I'm coming from. Anybody try to do this double duty thing with two? help me out here.

Oh and it doesn't help that I've had like a million Braxton Hicks this afternoon...no, I don't think I'm in labor but it just is really uncomfortable. Time to lay on my left side and drink water. Thanks for reading.

[Earth Angel]

Hugs mamma

I take my 2, but have just done if off and on for the summer. The longest strech was 5 weeks, then Dh's boss went out of town and he had them at his office.

We both officially feel that 2 is so much more than one. It has been difficult. They are there with Dh for about an hour and with me about 45 min. The boys are 15 mo and 4.5.

I hate to be a downer, and I'm not going to say it can't be done, cause Dh and I are doing it....but if there were days when I thought working and having 1 baby/toddler with me were hard....having 2, these days are more frequent.

What type of setting are your children in when they are with you? Dh and I are both in offices, I have my "own " office at a small agency and he is in a very small office with his boss.

I think that really matters. And how often will they be with you? What does your dd do now while with you?

At these ages my kids don't want to be cooped up. And the most difficult thing really has been my 15 mo old.....that is a difficult age. All he wants to do is sit on my desk and play with EVERYTHING up there :LOL

I think I could have managed better with a newborn and my older DS. The baby would have been in the sling or nursing all the time and I have had more time to then work while keeping the older one busy.

Really, I think there are ways you CAN do it and manage....Like I said, Dh and I do it. We are thankful that we can. I just wanted to be honest with you so that you could prepare yourself. I wouldn't quit just yet. You never know how it will work for you. Maybe you could get some volunteers from the church to help you smooze thse other people??? Or in some other way assist you. Maybe some kids form the church could be mother's helpers for you while you are working?? My saving grace are all my kids aunties at my office. They LOVE going visiting, and my co-workers love the kid breaks!!

Hope that things slow down for you a bit for your birth and baby moon......September is almost here

[Kia74]

I think that Earth Angel hit on a lot of key points Mamabeth.

I have a 9 month old, a 2 1/2 year old and a children's resale shop. My situation is fantastic in that my workplace is kidcentric but my overhead is also very high, competition is fierce and my customers while understanding can be very demanding.

The tail end of pregnancy can be filled with anxiety whether your going from 1 to 2, taking your children to work, wondering how your marriage will fare etc You never really know how everything is going to work out until it happens. The things I thought I could count on, like my mother coming to help didn't materialize but instead I had a super easy baby, which I wasn't banking on...

I don't know what kind of congregation that you minister to but I hope that you get the kind of emotional/spiritual support from them that can make a church family such a wonderful thing.

Please keep us posted about your pregancy

[kerc]

mamabeth I'm going through the same thing -- only I'm not in charge of a congregation, I'm in charge of finding a career-oriented job. My baby will come to work with me for a few months, while Erin's at daycare. I worry about leaving Erin and taking the baby all the time...will erin feel left behind? will there be enough me for both of them + my job? how will I make it all work?


In your case -- is there a reason (other than you've always done it) that dd comes with you and not with dh? Can you afford to find someone to serve as kind of a nanny -- come to work with you a few hrs a week so that you can write your sermon or whatever?

I don't know what to say re: the church other than those issues have to be separate from you. Are you feeling ambivalent about working? is the match just not a good one for you? could you serve some other role for a while in another church where it might be less long-term stress-- like children's minister in a larger congregation? I honestly don't know if it is possible for pastors to take 4 yrs off with their kids, you know?

[kerc]

one more thought: Geofizz gave me some good career advice recently ... she told me as much as possible that she makes it her policy to not make major career shift changes during pregnancy. We'd been discussing my future plans (post doc, look for a job in a university setting, look for a consulting job, etc.) and how I really didn't know what I want to do, that I was concerned about there being enough "me" for two + a job, etc.

[Geofizz]

Mamabeth, I'm sorry so many things seem to be coming at you all at once. Yes, I told kerc not to change course during pregnancy. I think that as part of preparing to bring another member into our families, our bodies naturally make our brains "flip out" about the adjustment. This forces us to think through all the possibilities and how we'll cope with an additional family member. Try to separate what you see as your job performance with your congregation and your job performance as a parent. Think about them independently for a while. Once you have each clearly in your mind, then start thinking about their combination. When you combine parenting with your job, is there something you can do to maintain that performance? Might it require different hours? Hiring a mother's helper to be at the church with you while you work? Starting a nursery program during services? (hey, that might draw in new families, right?)