i just wanted to share a different perspective on this interesting question... (i'm sorry in advance because my posts tend to be so darn lengthy) i don't have much of an opportunity to discuss my birthing experience, so i have a lot of feelings about it just rolling around in my brain.
my perspective comes from the sad ending of a baby who was not 'ok'- she died before she was born. beyond this reality, i went into her birth very prepared and pretty set in my ideas of how i wanted the birth to go... a detailed birth plan based in a natural birth experience and hoping for no need for any interventions, as well as a midwife who was supportive of this and a group of nurses at the birth center in the hospital who respected our wishes. i was worried, though, that when push came to shove, they may try to intervene, and it gave me a little stress thinking i'd have to waste my focus and energy on making sure interventions didn't happen. when we found out she had died in the middle of her birth, i could almost hear my birth plans getting flushed down the toilet! there were so many emotions all entangled in the decisions that followed, and i am amazed that my first reaction to the news that there was no heartbeat, i immediately thought of a c-section, exactly what i was so afraid of having happen. i know that i was mentally trying to just 'make it all go away' by getting anesethia and waking up not pregnant. my midwife carefully and very caringly led me away from this initial reaction, and we decided to have a vaginal birth, but... i had an iv put in, an intrathecal, two kinds of drugs, and my midwife attempted to rupture the membrane 4 times to no avail...this is the memory that just haunts me... hopelessly and kind of helplessly watching her try to do this, extemely aware that it was just all so wrong. i felt that since the baby's health was no longer in danger of being affected by drugs, it didn't matter if i had them... in fact, they really didn't have much of an affect on me...the situation was so unexpected and surreal, my mind wouldn't accept the relief the drugs were offering, maybe? in the end, her actual birth was totally amazing and i didn't care about anything except to be able to see her. when my body started to push her out, i was just blown away by this feeling... it occured to me that i didn't actually need anyone to attend to me during her birth... my body was doing it so perfectly on its own. i'll always remember that... it made her birth beautiful to me, knowing that my body was able to work through all of the interventions and my own shock and sorrow to do what it was supposed to do...
so, i guess what i am trying to say is that i can separate my birth experience from the tragic end to my birth story... i am not too happy with how it went, of course. i wish my mind hadn't had such a powerful take-over affect and that i was able to deny interventions even in the face of her death. on the other hand, i know i would have done anything, any intervention, in trade for her being able to live. i think if i am lucky enough to get pregnant again and have the opportunity to experince another birth, i will still use my original birth plan, and continue to hope for the best. but i definately feel a loss of the birth i had planned for, prepared for, and wanted to have so badly.
i know that some of you are pregnant, and i hope hope hope that my sad contribution hasn't given any of you any negative thoughts, etc. if it has i am so sorry. i wish that each of you can experience the birth that you dream of, and for those who have had it taken away from you, either by necessity or unfortunate intervention, i hope you can have a healing for this loss.
thanks for listening.