Kincaid, you have every right to feel that you would trade your "ideal" birth for a healthy baby. And in your case, maybe it would have been better to have had a c/sec.
But the problem is that you seem to think problems don't
happen with medically managed births. They do. They happen more often. About the same number of mothers and babies die (and, conversely, about the same survive) in medically managed and naturally managed births. The difference is in the health of those who survive; the natural way is, statistically, healthier for the surviving mother and babe.
Yes, in your case, a c/sec would have been healthier (although I don't think a vaginal medically managed birth would have been, except that it would have been more likely to result in a c/sec birth). But what that means is that for every case like yours there are many where problems are caused
by medical management. There are many babies like yours who were that sick because of
the medical management that you avoided.
A very small percentage of births are better off being medicalized (usually with c/sec) and most homebirth midwives are extremely good at identifying those few percent; there are very, very few cases like yours where there are no signs
and thus don't get screened out. But going with a "everybody gets the 2% treatment" approach doesn't save more babies; it harms a lot of mothers and babies who would otherwise have been fine, and it changes around which
babies or mothers survive.
This, of course, isn't much consolation for those who are still harmed, and I wish I had a time machine to lend you so you could go back with the knowledge you have now and change what happened. But only hindsight, not foresight, has the potential of being 20/20. As you said, death and damage are
natural (but again, that doesn't mean they only happen when going the "natural" route - but neither can the natural route entirely prevent it, it just does a better job than the all-medical route). All we can do is play the numbers, trust birth, trust bodies, and trust instincts when something says "this isn't right".