Do You Ever Give Yourself Performance Reviews or Evaluations?

[chersolly]

Am I the only one who does this? Sometimes, when bored, I give myself an evaluation, just like an employer would.

I'm a freak. :

[skueppers]

Wow, that's an interesting idea! The only problem is, when I was employed outside the home, I was always much harder on myself than any of my bosses ever were, so I think I'd find a performance evaluation demoralizing.

I think if I were to feel like I needed a performance evaluation, I'd ask my husband to do it.

[onlyzombiecat]

So what's involved in your job evaluation?

I've never done anything formal. I've thought about what I accomplished, what I didn't get done, how I did as a parent recently... some days are better than others.
I probably am tougher on myself than anyone else would be.

For fun-
http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/di...questions.html

[aprons_and_acorns]

I've tried this too but I always end up feeling like I'm a bad SAHM. I guess it's due to a lack of a realistic job discription.

Is it too late to say that I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing all day? :

[4cornersmamma]

I think I failed todays evaluation :

I didn't cook dinner
the house is a mess
my car is a mess
at least the kids are happy, but I'm exhausted.

It's all I can do to watch the kids play while I'm on the computer.

[KariM]

I kind of try to, but it's hard to know if you're being a good mama. After all, it takes years to see how the kids are developing. And kids have good days and bad days and sometimes it has nothing at all to do with the parents.

--Kari

As a side note, I'm noticing that many of the SAHMs include housework as part of their "job." Am I alone in thinking that my job excludes that stuff? I still consider household tasks to be the family's responsibility - that includes my DS and DH as well as myself.

[AJP]

Originally Posted by KariM

As a side note, I'm noticing that many of the SAHMs include housework as part of their "job." Am I alone in thinking that my job excludes that stuff? I still consider household tasks to be the family's responsibility - that includes my DS and DH as well as myself.

I see most of the housework as my responsibility, especially the daily and routine things (dishes, cooking, laundry, floors, bathrooms, etc.). My husband works very hard to keep our heads above water financially, most weeks he works 50 to 60 hours, sometimes more, and it's pretty high stress. I work very hard to tend to our son's needs and keep our home livable and our family sane. He doesn't expect me to do his work, I don't expect him to do mine. We help each other when it's reasonable, it's a give and take. We both try to be sensitive to the other's needs and give more props when the stress level is high. For instance, if things are particularly hectic at work for him, I shield him a bit when he gets home so he can decompress, and if things are hard for me he does more around the house or takes our son out or to the shop so I can have alone time. I'm pregnant right now, and have had a rough first trimester, so he's helped a lot when I've been feeling icky. He also does most of the outdoor stuff and heavier maintenance chores, he builds and tends my horse fences, etc. I feel we have a well-balanced arrangement, if anything more falls on him than on me. Our son's needs come first, of course, and our house is far from spotless (!), but it's livable and sanitary (most of the time), thanks to me, and our financial needs taken care of, thanks to him.

And no, I don't give myself performance reviews! I always think about how I could do things better, but it's not like I sit down at the end of a week and list what I did or didn't accomplish and rate myself. I actively avoid comparing myself to other SAHMs too, or to WOHMs or WAHMs, because every family's situation and sensibilities are different, so we do what works for US.

Maybe we should start a separate thread about this specificially - what the SAHMs here see as their responsibilities and why.

[4cornersmamma]

Originally Posted by KariM

I kind of try to, but it's hard to know if you're being a good mama. After all, it takes years to see how the kids are developing. And kids have good days and bad days and sometimes it has nothing at all to do with the parents.

--Kari

As a side note, I'm noticing that many of the SAHMs include housework as part of their "job." Am I alone in thinking that my job excludes that stuff? I still consider household tasks to be the family's responsibility - that includes my DS and DH as well as myself.

Kari,

When my husband worked "regular" hours he did a good part of the housework but like the poster before me, my DH now leaves for work at 5:30am and doesn't get home until almost 9pm. He is so exhausted by then (just like me by that time) that I find it really unfair to even ask him or me to do any cleaning or work at that time.

Even though I don't ask him to do things, every night he puts our daughter and sometimes our son to bed. He also takes care of the dogs and feeds them and puts them in the garage each night.

I think that I take on the responsibility of cleaning because I think that I am more likely to get to it, plus I hate to admit this but almost all messes are usually caused by me or the kids.

[ekblad9]

I'm constantly rereading books/magazines/websites that promote my parenting philosophy. That way I can make sure I'm at least trying to live up to what I believe in. Some days are really, really tough. Others feel great.

I look to my older children and myself to be responsible for most household tasks. If dh can help out, great, esp. when there's a new baby. I really don't expect him to do anything, though. That way anything he does is a plus. :LOL

[OTMomma]

I usually only review myself on days I did great or awful. On the days I did great- I tend to treat myself like the world's best employee- I at least get to have icecream. And on bad days, I'm glad I can't be fired. :LOL

[phathui5]

As a side note, I'm noticing that many of the SAHMs include housework as part of their "job." Am I alone in thinking that my job excludes that stuff?

I don't think that my job excludes that stuff. Dh spends 40-45 hours a week at his job and while taking care of the kids can be a full-time job, it doesn't take up every second of my time. It makes sense to me for the parent who's not stuck at a outside job five days a week to be the one who's doing most of the housework.