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Talked to my friend about pond birth... - Page 2

post #21 of 112
5/17/05 at 8:28pm
: Don't wanna miss this one.
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post #22 of 112
5/17/05 at 8:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmaramba
Loooong story, :LOL

The OP has claimed that her friend's "scary midwife" gave Friend vag and rectal exams without gloves and after handling raw chicken-- without washing her hands. And that MW thinks Friend should give birth in a stagnant 50-degree pond full of beer cans and mosquitos-- because it's more "holistic." OP claims MW has scary, svengali-like hold over Friend, etc.

Everyone is (rightly, I think) calling BS on the whole story. Especially since the OP hasn't posted twice in the same thread. He/she just posts and runs.

Oooooooohhhhh! Scary midwives! They're crazy! Ooga Booga!

It's kinda funny, actually!

Until they close the thread, I'm just going to :, too.
Oh, now that's not fair, the OP has posted at least twice to the previous threads, lol. And you forgot the bit about the pond algae being naturally vaccinating or whatever she called it :LOL I'm rathering hoping the saga continues until the birth of the baby. After the vaccinating algae and the salmonella laden rectal exams, I can't wait to see what horrifying details the birth will involve. How long do we have to wait for the riveting conclusion again?
post #23 of 112
5/17/05 at 9:27pm
Ooga booga! :

The OP has been posting in Unassisted Birth, too.
post #24 of 112
5/17/05 at 9:38pm
:
post #25 of 112
5/17/05 at 9:57pm
OMG girls!

Thank god I saw this thread when I did!!!
:

Can you imagine....I was actually planning to use a MIDWIFE for my next pregnancy (thank god my 1st birth went okay despite the MW being there!).

And worse--that I was actually going to BECOME one!??!

Phew!

All I can say to the OP is:
THANK YOU
post #26 of 112
5/17/05 at 10:19pm
I also really hope the saga continues! Maybe the OP could write a novel... These last few weeks of pg'cy tend to go a little slow and this is giving me such a great laugh. Something to look forward to... :
post #27 of 112
5/17/05 at 10:21pm
:
post #28 of 112
5/17/05 at 10:27pm
I predect a parasite &/or ameoba issue in the near future.
post #29 of 112
5/17/05 at 10:30pm
~sighs~ I seriously hope this IS just a joke... I hate to think of any woman being treated like that and being okay with it... But........

I have to say I've knew a few people years ago (about 13 years ago) who all went to the same "doctor"... the doctor never wore gloves, saw patients in his home or a hotel room (yes, hotel room), etc... he never prescribed anything, never displayed his credentials, nothing to make someone think he was a real doctor... but the people I knew all believed he was... they SWORE by him... until he was investigated by the state and arrested... he wasn't actually a doctor at all, but had been in prison years prior for sexual assault. So, all I'm saying is there are some people out there who practice without knowing what they're doing, and some who believe those "practitioners".

Now, in case this is real (scary!)... to the OP... you need to call a few REAL midwives and ask what they know about this person... if the've ever heard of her, etc... check with the state and find out if she's licensed (I don't know what state you're in so I don't know if midwives are licensed where you are)... get the new midwives to talk to your friends... basically stage an intervention (maybe one of the few times it's good during pregnancy!) with her and try to get through to her... maybe if real midwives speak with her about the standard of care she should be receiving she'll see the light.
post #30 of 112
5/17/05 at 10:35pm
When pg dd1 I had a dream I gave birth to a cat. Maybe the ending here is she'll give birth to a frog!
post #31 of 112
5/17/05 at 10:54pm
:

supposedly the friend is 16 weeks along.
post #32 of 112
5/17/05 at 11:08pm

The Riveting Conclusion...

Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterBaby
Oh, now that's not fair, the OP has posted at least twice to the previous threads, lol. And you forgot the bit about the pond algae being naturally vaccinating or whatever she called it :LOL I'm rathering hoping the saga continues until the birth of the baby. After the vaccinating algae and the salmonella laden rectal exams, I can't wait to see what horrifying details the birth will involve. How long do we have to wait for the riveting conclusion again?

Oh, sorry... I'm new here. I must have scanned past some of the OP's posts.

I wonder if this will be like one of those sitcoms, where they have a baby, and the next season, the baby is like... 4 years old. Like on Growing Pains or the Fresh Prince.

Suddenly, the Friend will go from 16 weeks to 40 weeks (maybe tomorrow!), and the midwife will have changed her mind.

Now Scary Midwife (tm) has Friend birthing in a birthing tub... full of raw chicken! Why not cut out the middleman? :LOL

She tells her to stand on her head during contractions and drink peyote-laced corn liquor, 'cause it's "more natural."

Then Scary Midwife (tm) whisks the (two-headed) baby off to her cult's compound in the mountains, where everyone fasts on "holistic" water soup and breadcrusts and calls one another George.

:
post #33 of 112
5/17/05 at 11:12pm
P.S. If this is real, then I'm sorry. But then, the OP should really be going to the police to report an assault, not to an Internet message board.

Edited to add...

Saw the OP's posts on the UC board and became more convinced that he/she is a troll. Asked what UC was, was told what it is-- not alone, but without a CP-- and was told that they usually *do* get prenatal care (and if they don't, probably take better care of themselves than docs do).

Responded with something like "Oh, I'm not brave enough to give birth alone and without prenatal care."

We shall see.
post #34 of 112
5/17/05 at 11:29pm
Oh! i hope there are leeches.. i'm sure they'd be invaluable in case her "friend" hemmorrages LOL
post #35 of 112
5/17/05 at 11:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelley4
Oh! i hope there are leeches.. i'm sure they'd be invaluable in case her "friend" hemmorrages LOL
And not one person thought my leech joke in the first pond thread was funny
post #36 of 112
5/18/05 at 12:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmaramba
She tells her to stand on her head during contractions and drink peyote-laced corn liquor, 'cause it's "more natural."

Hey--Pass me some of that! I'm not pregnant, but I could use a good hallucination based trip right about now!

:
post #37 of 112
5/18/05 at 1:27am
I could have sworn I replied to this post yesterday, was it deleted and reposted? Or was just my post deleted because I was not being nice?

Anyways this poster (the OP) has got to be full of it. This is no way for real. Especially looking at her other posts. Too out there.

...And whoever was wondering about rectal exams, they used to do them all the time. I have no idea how you can feel dialation from that way, I've never tried it :LOL, but seriously doctors used to do rectal exams to check cervical dialation. Wierd huh?
post #38 of 112
5/18/05 at 1:43am
LMAO Mmraba

Call me a drama queen with no life but :

I love these kinds of threads



C'mon, how many of you could be so imaginative and creative as the OP?
post #39 of 112
5/18/05 at 2:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy
I could use a good hallucination based trip right about now!
Geez, woman. Just look at this thread! What more could you ask for? : :LOL
post #40 of 112
5/18/05 at 2:33am
Came for the pond, staying for the leeches!
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