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Kids left alone in the car - Page 2

post #21 of 154
I only use the "pay at the pump" feature if I'm buying gas with my kids. If the pay at the pump thing is broken, I'll go to another gas station. If I have cash but not enough money in the bank and the kids are with me (this VERY rarely happens, I usually have more credit/debit than cash) then I'll either wait to buy gas or pay a bit more to have the attendant pump for me.

I have a 9 and a 10yo and I don't let them walk alone to a friend's house, or leave them alone in the car unless it's in my driveway or the school parking lot at dismissal time (when it's so congested a carjacker wouldn't stand a chance.)
post #22 of 154
well my mom used to leave us in the car alone well she went into the grocery store. When i was about 7 my twin sister and two older sisters were in the car. My oldest sister was 11. There was a man parked next to us who pulled out his privates and started playing with himself and watching us. we were terrified. we didn't want to get out of the car b/c he was there but we're also afraid os staying. when my mom came out the man left and we went into the store to tell the manager who pulled the parking lot tapes and reviewed them to get the man's licensce plate. my mom never left us in the car alone again. Until I was like 14.

My daughter will not be left alone in the car.

as for gas stations I pay at the pump or lug my child in and out of her seat even if she is sleeping. a little discomfert or annoyance is far better then risking my child
post #23 of 154
My child(ren) will never be left alone in a vehicle. Period. It's just not worth it.

When my brother and I were younger, we went out for a nice Sunday breakfast with our Grandpa. He ran into the store to grab a paper. While he was inside, my brother and I were messing around in his truck, just like curious, bored children do. Somehow we knocked the truck into gear and it started to roll....
post #24 of 154
Another option for gas is....credit card. It is my new way since having my son. This was a real dilema for me being I drive allot and during cold months don't let my tank get below half full.....it feels like I am always at the station!
So I started using my credit card and then every pay day put enough money on it to cover my gas costs till next pay day.

Gas attendants are willing to take your credit card in the store, swipe it and bring the receipt out for you to sign. I still feel a bit silly asking them to do this....but also figure with a small child in the back they must understand I am not THAT lazy. I always used to wonder who was EVER that lazy that they couldn't get out of their car to go in and pay....and now I know..ME!! :LOL
post #25 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama
If anyone would like to add the age and/or conditions it would be OK to leave a child/children in the care it would be great. TIA
I asked this question in the "other" heated thread, and no one responded. I'll bet no one here will either.
Here's my take....I will not leave my kids sleeping, not sleeping, crying, awake, or happy, alone in the car, running or not running, for even one minute or a couple of minutes, whether I can see the car from where I am or not see the car, no matter what time of the day or night, and not in a "crime free" safe area, or a crime ridden dangerous area, with a dog or no dog, or insert any other justification here, EVER. I chose between waking them up or getting that loaf of bread quite a bit. And if we REALLY have to have the loaf of bread I either wait until DH comes home, or wake my youngest up and carry him in. Nothing is that important that I would feel justified in leaving them alone in a 1000+ pound motor vehicle. I think about it this way...I grew these kids and went through 2 C-sections (3 if you count my surrogate pregnancy) to have them. I have spent countless hours with my arms numb from holding them, been so tired I was delirious from lack of sleep, and cried so many times from happiness and sorrow, I couldn't begin to count the tears...I love them so much, it hurts. I don't leave my CD's or my purse out in the open in my car, why would I leave my children?
If I come up to a car and there are children alone in it, I give the parent 60 seconds. If they are not back in 60 seconds, I will pull out my cell phone and dial 9-1-1. I will stand there and wait for emergency personnel to come, or for the parent to come out whichever is first. I will not lecture the parent. It's not my place. I do not care why she/he did it. But I do tell them that I have reported their vehicle and plate for leaving their kids unattended. If I saw a child being slapped around, I would do the same damn thing. If I saw a child walking the street alone, I would do the same damn thing. If I knew or suspected a child was being sexually abused or neglected in any way, I would do the same thing. Call me a busy body or bitch or whatever you want. We all make choices. Sure, that's every parent's right. And if you leave your precious kid in the car by themself, I will choose to report you because that's my right.
post #26 of 154
Dallaschildren- is there an age when you can accept the parents decision to allow their children to remain in the car or be out walking?

My dd is 8 and if the conditions are such that an adult could remain in a car with the windows rolled up for a couple of minutes I let her. I would also let her walk to and from school if we lived within walking distance and she had a few friends to walk with. I also let her go into the gas station and pay for the gas if she wants to.
post #27 of 154
[QUOTE=PoppyMama]Dallaschildren- is there an age when you can accept the parents decision to allow their children to remain in the car or be out walking?

[QUOTE]

Honestly, I cannot tell how old every stranger's child is. Not many people can. But I can say that in my past experience, every time I have called 9-1-1, the child was in either an infant carrier, or a convertible car seat. Being a CPS tech I am pretty proficient at identifying car seats. The children I have reported were obviously infant or toddler age. And if a child can walk out with you and you don't have to carry them which I know is hard in certain situations, why not just have them walk in with you?
post #28 of 154
I saw some kids -- 11, 6, 3, thereabouts-- with an infant lying in the 'way back' of a mini van, in a grocery store parking lot. The kids opened the window as i was unloading my groceries, and said they were hungry. I gave them a loaf of bread which they ravenously took. I told them to lock the doors and not open them for anyone. That not everyone would be as nice i as I was. Then I called 911.

That said, I have left the older kids in a locked, alarmed car as I ran into a store with big windows.
post #29 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by dallaschildren
I asked this question in the "other" heated thread, and no one responded. I'll bet no one here will either.
Here's my take....I will not leave my kids sleeping, not sleeping, crying, awake, or happy, alone in the car, running or not running, for even one minute or a couple of minutes, whether I can see the car from where I am or not see the car, no matter what time of the day or night, and not in a "crime free" safe area, or a crime ridden dangerous area, with a dog or no dog, or insert any other justification here, EVER. I chose between waking them up or getting that loaf of bread quite a bit. And if we REALLY have to have the loaf of bread I either wait until DH comes home, or wake my youngest up and carry him in. Nothing is that important that I would feel justified in leaving them alone in a 1000+ pound motor vehicle. I think about it this way...I grew these kids and went through 2 C-sections (3 if you count my surrogate pregnancy) to have them. I have spent countless hours with my arms numb from holding them, been so tired I was delirious from lack of sleep, and cried so many times from happiness and sorrow, I couldn't begin to count the tears...I love them so much, it hurts. I don't leave my CD's or my purse out in the open in my car, why would I leave my children?
If I come up to a car and there are children alone in it, I give the parent 60 seconds. If they are not back in 60 seconds, I will pull out my cell phone and dial 9-1-1. I will stand there and wait for emergency personnel to come, or for the parent to come out whichever is first. I will not lecture the parent. It's not my place. I do not care why she/he did it. But I do tell them that I have reported their vehicle and plate for leaving their kids unattended. If I saw a child being slapped around, I would do the same damn thing. If I saw a child walking the street alone, I would do the same damn thing. If I knew or suspected a child was being sexually abused or neglected in any way, I would do the same thing. Call me a busy body or bitch or whatever you want. We all make choices. Sure, that's every parent's right. And if you leave your precious kid in the car by themself, I will choose to report you because that's my right.
This really pisses me off. If I was paying for gas and I saw some stranger hanging around my car where my children were, I'd be angry and I would probably lecture. How on earth is it safer for me, or anyone else, to drag my children out of the car and to the payment window where other cars are driving around than it is for me to leave them in the car? They are no further away from me than they would be at the park.

Your definition of "right" is seriously off. Where I live, the law says that children over the age of ten can be in cars unattended. They can walk around their neighborhood unattended and they can stay home alone unattended for periods of time no greater than three hours and not after 9:00pm. If you are running around playing police I sure as hell hope that you are aware of the laws and ordinances in your area.

And the whole "I went through so much to have my kids" thing makes me a little ill. Women who had easy pregnancies and births DON'T love their kids as much as those who had difficult ones?

Jeez. I have to believe that those of you who are going off on this are talking about very young children, as in toddlers or early elementary school age kids. Because if anyone ever said anything to me about a 10yo, I'd flip out on them.
post #30 of 154
post #31 of 154
never mind
post #32 of 154
I leave the kids in the car to go to the ATM, if I can see the car, locked doors, and me with keys. My bank doesn't have a drive up. If I can't park close enough, I go to the bank next store that has a drive up and pay the surcharge. I'm not sure when I'll feel safe leaving the kids in the car when I can't see them. But after someone saying something about falling and hitting their heads, I'm not sure I would leave them? But then I think, great, so I'm unconscious on the sidewalk, and my 6,4 and 16 month old are running in the parking lot! They'd be safer in the car! You just can't win!

All I can say is I have found motherhood to be a lot harder than I expected, and I think it is one thing to point out the dangers or stick around to watch and make sure the kids are OK, but wanting to send a mother into panic just seems cruel. Things do happen so quickly, and sometimes I feel like I'm walking around in a fog from lack of sleep, stress, the constant noise: I just wouldn't judge another mother quite so harshly.
post #33 of 154
I have to say that I don't really see the difference between the car being in sight or not. If you are behind glass doors, watching the car, there is no way you are going to get out to the car fast enough if you see someone jump in and drive off. I have stood next to the car - pump gas, walk up ATM, that kind of thing, with ds in the car, but never gone inside a building with him inside the car. I pay at the pump or I don't get gas.

There was another thread wherein someone posted a link to some articles about vehicles (turned off, no key) that have spontaneously combusted. I used to leave ds sleeping in the car in our enclosed garage with the door open and me listening on the monitor. But I don't anymore.

I remember sitting in the car one time with my little sister (I think I was about 12 and she was about 8). My dad was getting ready to drive us to school, and had to run into the house for something. My sister did something that dislodged the parking brake, and the car started rolling down the street. I wasn't quick enough to think about pulling the parking brake, and I remember diving onto the floor and hitting the footbrake with my hand. And that's how my dad found us - halfway down the street with me headfirst on the floor. He was pretty freaked. But I remember my mom leaving us in the car at around that age a lot while she ran in for groceries.

Admittedly, I don't have nearly as big a problem with an 8 or 9 year old in a car as I do a 3 or 4 year old. I can't say definitively though, as I don't have an 8 or 9 year old. However, I live in a big city, so it will probably be a long long time before either one of my children are left in the car, walk down the street, or ride their bike alone.
post #34 of 154
Dallaschildren did say that the children she has called on where infants or toddlers. I wouldn't choose her wording but I have thought similar things when murdered children are on the news. A life that is so precious to me being treated as so cheap by someone else baffles me. I'm not talking about a child locked in a car while the mom pays for gas though.

I said earlier that weather and the ability of kids to get out if I was injured are my main criteria. At those pay window gas stations I lock the doors but I never get my kids out. No point.

Dallaschildren- yes she could get out but if she doesn't feel like it and my other criteria are met I will let her stay in.
post #35 of 154
Your child is far, far more likely to be hit in the parking lot by another car while walking with you into a store or building than abducted by a stranger in the car while left alone. The main dangers of leaving children unattended in cars come from temperature concerns and the child doing something to harm him or herself.
post #36 of 154
Um...it takes a bit to get a locked, alarmed car moving. Even i know that, and I've never stolen a car. 3 or 4 yr olds should be strapped into carseats. When we were all little, the entire carseat situation was different. At any rate, my car's gears cannot be moved unless the keys are in the ignition. And just perhaps, it;s time to let kids know they can't be playing with gears.
I mean, don't you tell your kids to leave the VCR alone?

I think paranoia will get us nowhere.

I agree with with the poster who said that kids in a car are often closer to us than kids on a public playground.

I think we all need to stop thinking danger lurks around every corner gas station. because it doesn't. If you're watching a whole bunch of TV, I know it may seem that way. Or maybe if you live a high crime zone. Otherwise, the numbers don't fit.

How many kids have been abducted from locked, alarmed cars while their parents paid for gas in a couple of minutes?

And remember, the car has to be locked, alarmed, and without the keys in the ignition. Go gooogle it. You'll see the mumber is NONE.
post #37 of 154
Now, I agree 100% that young children should never be left in the car alone. But I do wonder at the notion that parents should be reported if they are out walking the street alone and how over-protective some people may have become due to fears about their children, and how well - or not - this may serve these children.

Thinking back, I walked to school and back alone from about the age of 6 or 7. In the UK, there are no school buses in most areas for elementary age children. And my parents did not have two cars, and my mother could not drive. We all walked to school - that was normal.

We also went out on our bikes, we walked on errands to the post office or the shops, and when we were a little older (10 or so) we took the bus into town on our own. At 11, I caught two buses (London Transport buses, not school buses) to get to school and back every day. No car to give me a lift, no school bus to take me door to door.

So, would my mother have left me in the car while she went to buy a pint of milk? Nope, she didnt have a car. She'd have sent me to the shops to buy it.



I guess she didnt have to worry though about my bike spontaneously combusting :LOL
post #38 of 154
You got it, Brtishmum!

We're all paranoid from watching too much tellie here in the states.

The facts of actual crime just do not equal the CSI tv show ones. the fact is, abductions are on the the decline, and have been for some time. But you wouldn't know that from watching Prime Time.

we're victims of our own leisure activities. Some of us here would prefer not to know our neighbors and would prefer to let our kids watch TV rather than let them play outside, where all the perverts are. Since we do not know our neighbors, any of them could be 'preverts'. None of the neighbors are nice, yk? They only like us for our cars.

Now, some of us do live in crime-infested neighborhoods, or places where owning a Hummer is most important, and pedophiles are the nice old people offering candy, but many of us here just have regular folks like all of us as neighbors. Our fear is greater than the statistical reality.

I'll confess--- i let my 6 yr old walk with our neighbors and my 12 yr old dd, to the local playground today. I didn't even go with them!
post #39 of 154
Quote:
I think paranoia will get us nowhere.
I disagree. The chances of your child being abducted by a stranger at all are pretty slim, but I doubt many moms here would be okay with letting them walk around the supermart out of our sight. I think some healthy paranoia is what keeps kids safe.

Cars are machines full of gasoline and electronics - not a safe combo. They are also huge targets for thieves. More cars are stolen than children are abducted. My fear of someone taking off with my car with a my children inside has more to do with them stealing the car, unaware that my children are inside, than it has to do with thinking that someone is trying to steal my kids.

Plenty of locked alarmed cars are stolen everyday. It's false sense of security. So are carseats - my ds1 could undo his carseat by the time he was 3yo.
post #40 of 154
I leave my kids in the car. Even my 4 year old. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. My risk assessment of each situation says it's okay.
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