Originally Posted by robugmum
For the first time ever, I've even entertained the thought of abandoning my plans for a second VBAC and scheduling a c-section. Of course, I would never actually do it, but the thought has crossed my mind. I need to find a way to feel happy and hopeful and positive again. I'm worried that the anxiety I'm feeling isn't good for my baby. What do you all do when you feel fearful or anxious?
I'm glad you expressed this. I am feeling the same way. Being 39+ weeks now, I can't help but ponder the fact that I could just schedule a c-section for anytime now if I wanted. I'm getting more freaked out about the possibility of something going wrong. I don't have anyone to talk to about it that will really understand - if I talk to DH, he just says 'So do you want to schedule the c-section?' - I don't! (And actually in a way that helps, because having him vocalize it like that makes me really see I don't want to do it) Really I just want to be confident again in what I'm doing and not worry. I'm glad I set myself up a great support team because if I had to be the steady rock in the current of providers pushing me to get a c-section I don't know that I could resist right now.
As it is, I have to decide what I want to do at 42 weeks - given I went 42.5 last time (and was induced) its a very real possiblity that we will get there with no labor - at that point I will have to keep pushing to stay pregnant or give in to the c-section. I'm mostly trying not to think about it right now.
ETA - Oh, I wanted to add that I noticed my fear of something going wrong increasing recently since I had been watching those baby shows on TV. None of them are about VBACs or UR necessarily, but I think it still has a subtle effect on my psyche, so I cut that out. (In the past I have seen a psychologist for anxiety and we found that TV especially affected my anxiety - if I watched the nightly news I would have a hard time sleeping for weeks anxious about something - so I try to think carefully about what I'm watching and what is influencing me subconsciously)