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Reward for potty use? - Page 2

post #21 of 50
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
Probably because so many parents are desperate to stop cleaning up poop.
I can relate to that.
post #22 of 50
I too have made only ONE exception to my NO REWARDS parenting. And its being "potty trained" or whatever you want to call it.

I told my girls that as soon as they were done with diapers during the day they would get to pick out one BIG BIG present.

I was low key about it. Kind of like "just so you know, whenever you are done with diapers, you get a present. Doesn't matter to me, whatever, la la la"

As I said this involved being done "during the day". All of my kids seem gentetically predisposed to late night wetting. I told them I DID not care at all about this and no reward or punishment was in any way tied to being diaper free at night.

I do think its interesting that this in the exception for the Punished by Rewards guy!
post #23 of 50

Oooo I feel your pain!

My ds is JUST toilet trained, and he was doing great with #1s but resisting doing #2s in the loo! People were suggesting all sorts of things, like that he was scared of the toilet, but I knew that wasn't it. Heck, this kid will flush WHILE he's sitting on it, so definately no fear!

It was just a case of him deciding he would do it in the loo. I was pretty strict about him not going back into nappies (diapers) so I just had to live with the dirty undies.

Four weeks out, we have had no "accident" (or filling pants on purpose!) since last Saturday.

When I thought about it, I was asking him to change the habit of a lifetime...for three and a half years it was ok for him to poo in his pants (nappy) and then suddenly its not. I couldn't expect him to get it overnight.

It WILL get better, although it feels like an eternity when you're in the middle of it!
post #24 of 50
Oh, and I have also used rewards! Today Matthew asked for his lolly because he'd done "guck" in the toilet, but I didn't give it to him. I just said something like you are a big boy now who does "guck" in the toilet all the time, and that I didn't get chocolate for doing it in the toilet either. He was ok with this!
post #25 of 50
We used mini m&m's for potty training. First, when he remembered to poop in the potty chair, he got one candy. He asked for his candy the first few times, and then forgot, and of course, I didn't remind him! Then I decided I was SOOO done with emptying the potty chair, so I told him that everytime he peed or pooped in the toilet, he got a candy. That transition took all of a day! LOL! Again, he only asked for the candy the first few times, and then forgot. Now I'm thinking of getting them out again, as in, "You know, when you wipe yourself, you'll get a chocolate! Just so you know!" As one pp put it, "no big deal, la la la." :LOL

BTW, that container of m&m's in the bathroom is the ONLY candy in the house, and potty training is the ONLY time I've ever used rewards.
post #26 of 50
It took DD forever to stop pooping in her underwear. And I was really really tired of cleanign it up and she did not want to wear a diaper. One day she just pooped in the potty. I rewarded. I ranted and raved (I do not reccomend that approach, but I just simply was too tired and so I was awful) I danced on my head. Then I gave up and put her in pullups, and told her when she kept them clean she would get underpants (princess ones- I showed them to her). I made her help me clean it up (this is worse).
Then she would hold it and poop in the bath. Finally I pointed out that that was not OK either. gross! Now she mostly has the hang of it though I still clean up an accident a week or so. Now I point out that she can't go to summer camp unless she uses the potty. I remind her every morning and this seems to help some.
post #27 of 50
Oh, we are right there with you! Eli is 2.5 and has been semi-ec'd since he was like two months old. He has NEVER been willing to poop on the potty. He will wear underpants, ask to go pee, but refuses to poop on the potty! It's like he's afraid of hte potty. He asks for a diaper when he has to poop. Every time.

We just went through a terrible thing where he was refusing to poop At ALL! What a nightmare! He had one hard poop from a weird dietary blip, and then he was withholding poops and it was awful, he'd scream in pain, MY TUSHIE HURTS!! But he wouldnt poop in a diaper or anything. Finally, after medication, he's back to normal pooping in the diaper, so I am really reluctant to stress him into withholding again.

I was trying anything to get him to just sit on the potty and try to poop, but he is afraid. Dont know why. I offered him CANDY! I offered him M and M's at my sister's house -- we dont keep them at home. I was right there with the bold face bribes. I just want him to get over this fear!!!

So far, nothing. Maybe I'll buy a jar of m and m's and keep them on the toilet ledge. No, I just am not ready for that! I always swore I wouldn't!! Ah the ideals of parenting!!
post #28 of 50
How old are all these kids when they're potty training? Why not just do like me? Wait four years (or however long) till child is good & ready on his or her own and then have no accidents afterwards?

You all are not going to go for that, are you? Ah well. I tried. :LOL
post #29 of 50
Ya know, I think I just figured out why rewarding is ok for pooping on the potty.


I think like many pp's have mentioned many kids are simply scared of using the potty for poops.

The reward pushes them past their fear and once they have done it a few times the fear goes away.
post #30 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by PM
How old are all these kids when they're potty training? Why not just do like me? Wait four years (or however long) till child is good & ready on his or her own and then have no accidents afterwards?

You all are not going to go for that, are you? Ah well. I tried. :LOL
Well, we kind of did. Ds was three and a half when we started. Although I mentioned rewards, it wasn't a big song and dance - no sticker charts or big ra ra. It was quite low key, and I could probably count on one hand the number of rewards.

I think all in all the process to fully trained (dry day and night) has taken three weeks, and I think for the most part its just been changing habits. After a "lifetime" (well, it is for him!) of pooing in nappies, I guess you can't expect pooing in the toilet overnight.
post #31 of 50
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PM
How old are all these kids when they're potty training? Why not just do like me? Wait four years (or however long) till child is good & ready on his or her own and then have no accidents afterwards?

You all are not going to go for that, are you? Ah well. I tried. :LOL
I swear to you, I did NOTHING to get him to potty train. Well, OK, I had a potty there on the floor for him, and once in a while I'd ask him if he wanted to pee in it, but I hadn't even brought it up in at least a month. Out of the blue one day he just started telling me he had to pee, so we'd go do it on the potty. Literally, one day he was peeing in his diapers, the next day he wasn't, completely of his own free will. I think he had maybe one or two pee accidents in the beginning, but it's been almost a month now and he stays dry, even at night.

So that's why I want to help him over the poop hurdle. I don't want to pressure him or make a biig deal out of it, but if he doesn't want to wear diapers, and he doesn't want to poop in the toilet... something has to give, yk?
post #32 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by PM
How old are all these kids when they're potty training? Why not just do like me? Wait four years (or however long) till child is good & ready on his or her own and then have no accidents afterwards?

You all are not going to go for that, are you? Ah well. I tried. :LOL
Ok, I essentially did this with DS 1. This poor child is so disassociated from his body's messages about elimination. At five and a half, he still has pee accidents. That scared me right to EC with DS2!

Eli is 2.5
post #33 of 50
Don't get me wrong, my 5 yo uses the potty, but if he's playing or busy, oopsie!
post #34 of 50
I really like that bubble blowing idea! Ds only has accidents now when he is too impatient to wait for the poop to come. He'll sit on the potty, then hop right up and say "There's no poop."

He did this just last week (after going without an accident for months) and pooped once on the carpeted floor, then AGAIN on the couch.

We have three toilets in our house, and he likes "the soft potty." Which is in the bathroom farthest from all other rooms, of course. And we have cheap off-white carpet that stains if you look at it and imagine a mess.
post #35 of 50
I was joking. But it is good for the mind to see different experiences.
post #36 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by PM
I was joking. But it is good for the mind to see different experiences.
I got that you were joking, but your joke is pretty much the current stance of pediatricians, backed up by our fabulous disposable diaper industry. Just wait, just wait!! Bah!!
post #37 of 50
I find this thread very helpful. Thank you.

Can someone help me out though...

What about a dc that is purposefully peeing on the floor? He absolutely knows what he is doing. He runs in another room and will pee.

Do you think I should try the rewards system with that?

Right now the momma-freaking-out or the momma-ignoring-it-systems have both failed.


Any suggestions?

What if I just suggested... if you pee in the potty all day today, you can pick out some special kid underwear at the store.... something like that.
post #38 of 50
Pamelamama -- It was a bad joke. Really stupid. I didn't know that's their stance -- I'm too far-removed from western society! Sorry everyone.
post #39 of 50
(I wasnt' offended)

YOu find 'quizzes' like this one: http://toddlerstoday.com/resources/articles/ttquiz.htm

Oh, and here's the AAP link, check the bullet points for readiness: http://www.aap.org/pubed/ZZZR6LONH4C.htm?&sub_cat=1

They basically want you to wait until your kid shows all these readiness signs before you plunge in. Kid can pull up pants, kid cares about being clean and dry, kid is aware of bodily functions, etc. So I'm saying, if you wait until your kid does all these things on his/her own, the kid may very well be four years old! That's what totally threw me toward EC for Eli (part time anyway) and I still say it's nuts, even for just two years, to teach a kid to ignore bodily functions and then one day just boom: hey kid now I want you to sense those things you've been ignoring and behave in a completely different fashion! EC moms will totally disagree with so much of the AAP stuff.

Oops, I think I'm going a little OT here.
post #40 of 50
Mine was 4 years old (well, 2 weeks shy).
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