Budgeting to Financially Support Extended Family… - Page 2

[EFmom]

My parents have planned well financially and will be set through their retirement years. It'll be them leaving us money one day, not us figuring out how to help them. I'm so glad they did that.

My inlaws and my parents did this as well, and I am also very glad. Both sets of parents have the classic "Depression Mentality," not that I think that's a bad thing. My FIL was a doctor and they saved a ton of money by living a very frugal lifestyle, even while educating five children. They are in their 80s now, they own two paid-off homes and cars, and he complains that he is forced to draw money from his retirement accounts when they could live quite comfortably on their social security! I honestly wish they'd enjoy some of the money they worked so hard to earn instead of trying to save it for their kids to inherit.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by DebraBaker

my MIL has made really stupid poor choices throughout her life. She has asked her children to support her financially but none of us feel obligated to support her because, first, she is a money vampire, just sucks money dry at any opportunity. Second, she has made really crappy choices (consistantly crappy) throughout her adult life and us throwing money at her isn't going to help.

I would be much more sympathetic and supportive if she became destitute through no fault of her own.

This is EXACTLY how I feel about my MIL. However, my dh still feels the "obligation" to support her in the future. My SIL and ex-BIL already gave her a ton of money (paid her mortgage and utilities for two years, and gave her a truck) and it was part of the stress that led to their divorce.

MIL and I clash a lot........so I can't live with her under the same roof. Whether or not we give her any money in the future remains to be seen. How to budget for it? I don't know. I guess dh will have to work more.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by EFmom

I honestly wish they'd enjoy some of the money they worked so hard to earn instead of trying to save it for their kids to inherit.

I totally agree with this. It sickens me for children to think it's somehow their birthright or something to be gifted with money they didn't even earn. Too many parents live the thin life so their kids have something when they die. Enjoy it now, I say. Help others when you can and die without a dime in your pocket. Let your kids do for themselves.

Of course, that being said, dd will be very well off when we die. :LOL But that's only because we own property in Turkey that she will inherit.

[Jane]

I sincerely hope that every one of my relatives dies with just enough money to cover their bills for that month. That would mean that they used every bit for their own good while alive.

It's not really possible to plan it that way, but I do not want to inherit anything.

[mnnice]

How it works in families is sure interesting. My folks both have generous pensions and might die broke, but yet shouldn't be a financial drain on me or my brothers. My folk buy my sons stuff (appropriately IMO) and foot the bill like 90% of the time if we eat out together. That would be the some total of the financial help we get from them.

My IL's always want to give us money. It drives DH and I crazy because we know that we have more money than they do (as do all their children). We are both concerned that someday they will need support and we will give, but I think maybe resent it.

My one SIL gave her grandfather her old car. He is so broke that he has not yet paid for all of her grandmother's funeral.

My other SIL's parents and grandmother are loaded. Her parents basically gave her and my brother a house. I bet she can't even fathom giving your ten year old car to your grandpa.