What do you do all day?

[Dreaming]

I'm still trying to get the hang of this SAHM thing. DD is nearly 1 and is very busy. I mostly just let her run (cruise and crawl) in the gated off main floor but I don't know what else to do with her. I have a friend who is always doing flashcards and playdates with her DS. We don't do either.

Everyday is the same: diapers, food, laundry, cleaning. In between is a lot of singing, hugging, kissing and redirecting. I love my DD and I love being a SAHM but I still feel clueless. I'm trying to juggle being a mom and a housewife and a WIFE lol.

I was raised by a workaholic single mom who fed us McDonalds and hired a housekeeper.

The repetition is making me crazy

Any tips? Helpful hints? What do you do all day? How do you go about being a SAHM? Does your DH/DW provide enough support? Do you entertain your kids? When do you spend time doing stuff for you? Am I the only one who feels overwhelmed and bored at the same time?

[cutic]

Hi,

My daughter is 15 months now and we don't belong to any playgroup, either. I do mostly the same, laundry, diaper, nursing, cooking and so on. To entertain her and myself I make a point of going out at least once a day just for pleasure, not to buy groceries or run errands. We can go anywhere we wish (to be honest, where I wish) and just walk there, look around. My dd is very people oriented and loves to "talk" to people so this is fun for her and me, to observe her social skills blossoming.

I was told to read books to her from an early age but it didn't work because she would always try to take a book from me and eat it or tear pages. Just a few months ago, I started pointing at the pictures in her books and naming everything I could. She likes it and I can see that she understands a lot. It is a fun activity and something that comes natural.

Have to go, she woke up ,

[PumpkinSeeds]

I have a loose schedule. boring, but regular and predictable. This works well for my almost 4yo.

Here it is more or less:

wake up until 10:30 ish breakfast, play, watch cartoons, mama cleans

10:30ish to 3pm ish Errands, go to park or other out of house stuff.

3pm -4pm bath or relaxing time, coloring painting or playdoh

4pm-5pm dinner for the kids

5pm-6pm playtime or more cartoons or play with papa depending if he can get home before 6

6pm bedtime (reading with papa first)





yes, my son goes to bed at 6pm. He wakes up at 6am no matter what time he goes to bed so he is always ready for bed at this time.

[rowantree]

i think youll find with summer comes more fun and outings naturally.
find a playground you like, or a pond to wade in.

[UUMom]

I'm a homebody, but I got a lot of support and intellectual stimulation via some women I met a breastfeeding group. Six yrs later, we still meet for playgroup and several of us are hsing. I don't know what i would have done without them. We give each other Mother Blessings when pregnant, make food for each other if needed, trade off playdates etc. The breastfeeidng group had about 50 women in it, but about 6 of us found each other & still meet to this day. The kids really enjoy each other as well, and can't remember of time without their friends.

I also went to the library with my babies a lot, it helps to get to know the friendly librarians--- some libraries have toddler art programs, and toy & puzzle areas.

[cjr]

My sister goes and goes and goes with her kids. It drives me crazy because I feel like a failure next to her. Her dd is in at least 4 activities at a time and they are always shopping or out in general. She hates to stay at home. Then I was talking to her SIL's (shameful I know) and they had the same opinion as myself, she does way too much. Her kids get no downtime.

Here's my opinion. Kids like to keep buisy but they don't want to be dragged to playdates/groups, parks, shopping, activities ALL the time. They like to have a nice simple routine with some interesting adventures thrown in for fun. I don't run aroung all day and when I do the whole house falls apart. We get up and have breakfast, dh takes dd#1 to school, I take dd#2 and ds to the gym where they play for an hour with other kids and I workout, we go home and I make lunch, take dd#2 to her bus, put ds down for a nap, give ds a snack befor picking up both girls from their bus, dd's have an hour of "down time" where they can relax by themselves in their rooms and I can get ds fed and start on dinner, we talk and play, give ds a bath and the girls, get the kids ready for bed, then dh and I have adult down time. That's our day almost every day. Once a week I try to get ds to playgroup, but he's been napping through it lately. On the weekends we mix it up a bit and go for a bike ride to the park. Once or twice through the week I try to take ds to the park for a walk or a play. The girls are in extra activities once in a while, but they have no stamina right now and are wiped at the end of the day and the weekends are too buisy with family stuff. Ds gets lots of playtime while I workout.

Activities with ds(15months) are not anything special. He's still a little young for most stuff so we just read and play. He likes to wrestle and get chased. He's exploring mostly and I just let him do that.

[azyre]

Any tips? Helpful hints? What do you do all day? How do you go about being a SAHM? Does your DH/DW provide enough support? Do you entertain your kids? When do you spend time doing stuff for you? Am I the only one who feels overwhelmed and bored at the same time?

I go out a lot because the monotony of housework and social isolation kill me at home. We maybe stay in a day or two a week, and these days often include a trip out for bread or something. Maybe stay home properly the whole day once a fortnight!

On the negative side, my house isn't terribly clean and often isn't tidy. And we often don't have proper meals I would like these things to happen but they don't when we are out a lot.

I try and play with her once a day (gee that sounds harsh) but by this I mean on the floor for a period, mucking around, building blocks, playdough etc. I do this for me as much as her, as a way to connect and cause I find stuff like Little People good fun! Otherwise she helps me do house stuff, which is getting more fun as she is more able to participate, and she plays by herself. If she is playing independently, I would be loathe to interrupt. She engages me in stuff she wants to do, and sometimes I lead the way if there is something I feel like doing, or she is just at a loose end. I don't know if that fits the bill of "entertaining".

As for my DP, he works OT a bit and is doing a parttime Uni course and he has a terrible addiction to computer games. He is doing better but he isn't as plugged in as I'd like to be perfectly honest. In a big way that necessitates the adult socialising I do during the week, but even if he was Mr Perfect, I think the socialising I do has a lot of value - I see my AP friends from playgroup, my parents and my SIL, and get that "tribe" vibe from doing that.

Am I the only one who feels overwhelmed and bored at the same time?

No! I feel like that as soon as I start spending more time home alone with no adults. That said, when I neglect my household duties, I feel kinda guilty about that as well LOL I'd rather feel a bit guilty about stuff I don't want to do than nuts for not doing stuff I want to however!

[Goldenlover]

I don't belong to playgroups either though I wish we did
he is now 3 years old and we play, run around, I come online and do my boards, chatting, email and also the usual cleaning

[momto1QT]

DD and I get out of the house at least twice a week for play and music classes and we also have a membership to the zoo, which she absolutely loves! We like to get out of the house for social interaction for the both of us. The rest of the time we spend at home playing together, and since I'm not much of a housekeeper/cook : , the entire time we are together is spent one on one with both of us on the floor playing, reading, finger-painting, or enjoying the yard. All that time together (which is led by DD) can get to me sometimes, so luckily DH will often take over for me for a couple of hours in the evening so I can get a little "me" time and some relaxation

[mama2zoey]

No playgroups here either...

Our day usually consists of meals, snacks, cleaning, blowing bubbles outside, watching Gypsy dog play outside, going on walks, going to the park, library visits, (we visit the library at least twice a week if not more!), we read stories and lately have started doing animal sounds and singing. I try to get her to do independant play for some time during the day...but that often doesn't pan out to be for very long , my DD enjoys looking out our back door window while I get dinner started or am doing dishes. Some days DD will watch a baby einstien video...I usually check email while she naps, (if I don't join her!), DD also loves to "play" at folding laundry while I actually fold laundry. I get in a workout by doing Tae bo at least three times a week and DD will watch me while doing that and stomp her little feet and wave her arms in the air! She really enjoys it! I guess we really don't do anything all that exciting...but on most days I feel pretty good about how things are going. I also watch a baby two days a week in our home so our "free" days really are all the more exciting because we have freedom to do whatever we want! It's kind of like how weekends were before I had DD!!!

[onlyzombiecat]

Originally Posted by Artist Mama

Any tips? Helpful hints? What do you do all day? How do you go about being a SAHM? Does your DH/DW provide enough support? Do you entertain your kids? When do you spend time doing stuff for you? Am I the only one who feels overwhelmed and bored at the same time?

My dd is 5.
I get up in the morning and feed our cats. I might start some laundry or wash some dishes- depends on if dd is awake yet or not. When dd wakes up I try to get her fed and dressed. We might go outside to walk around. Dd might play on her own or I'll play with her. I'll read a book (a grown up book). I'll check my e-mail. I clean. We might write a story together or draw a co-operative picture. Dh will get up around 11:30 AM. I make lunch. We eat together. Dh checks internet sites, showers and goes to work by 2PM. After dh leaves I do noisy things like vacuum. Dd might watch a DVD or video or play a computer game. We might go outside again- sidewalk chalk, waterballoons, bubbles, picking dandelions, finding "magic" stones. Whatever. Around 4 or 5 I make something to eat. Dd might do a reading lesson at some point during the day also. I try to exercise at some point each day. In the evening dd will have a bath. I read to dd. I'll attempt to get her in bed starting at 9 PM to before midnight. I read my book while dd tries to go to sleep. Dh gets home between 11:30PM to midnight usually. He eats and gets on the internet for awhile. I might wash more dishes. Sometimes dh and I talk or watch a movie after dd is asleep. Sometimes I just go to bed right after dd does but I try to wait up to spend time with dh.
On dh's days off we go to the grocery store or have a family outing somewhere. We might wash the car together or go visit family.
We don't do flashcards or playdates generally.
Things are kind of routine but we are fairly flexible.
If I want a break I pretty much have to outright ask dh to watch dd. He'll do it if I ask. Then I might get an hour to myself.
Dh could go to bed earlier and wake up earlier but it doesn't happen.

[SmilingChick]

DD is 6 months...when we go out we'll we go for walks, go visit grandparents, go shopping, visit cousins, visit dad at work. At home, I'll read to her, play with toys, do housework while she plays and watches me, make baby food, etc.
She naps in the late AM so I get a lot done then, and dh likes to spend
time with her when he gets home, so I can take a bubble bath or run to cvs or whatever I need to do.
I used to feel overwhelmed in the beginning, when dd was very young, but not anymore. It's been a positive experience overall.

[Amys1st]

All your dc needs right now is simple playtime and exploration. Maybe you need to jazz up your routine a bit.

We get out as much as possible with going on overload. There are some weeks where we seem to have so much going on that a few days at home are in order. Now with the weather changing, we spend a great deal of time outside riding bikes, at the park, playing in our backyard etc.
But when we do have a homebody day, dd really gets into her playroom since its all new to her mind since she has not seen it in a few days. This allows me time to catch up. Mondays are usually catch up days for laundry, etc.

It gets easier as your child gets older. But maybe you can do something part time to get you out of the house a bit or join something of interest.

[janerose]

My dd is 8 months & we do pretty much the same thing each day as well. We do not belong to a playgroup, but are thinking about going to story hour at the library once we get moved. Most days we stay at home, although I am looking forward to trips to the park once she's bigger. We do run errands once or twice a week, and usually go out to dinner one evening a week as well.

As far as playing with her goes, I do whatever she needs at the moment. Lots of times she's perfectly happy entertaining herself in our living room, which is baby proofed & gated off. She's crawling & learning to walk so she keeps busy. Usually I'll just leave her there while I do stuff & check back every couple of minutes. If she's not happy like that though I play with her. She's too young for flash cards and stuff like that. Right now it's still mostly peek-a-boo I do read books sometimes, but they have to be board books and NOT right before bed. She's WAY too cranky then! If I have stuff I really need to get done she goes into the pack carrier & rides around while I vac, make dinner, whatever. Usually she's really happy in there since she's close to me, but can see what I'm doing at the same time.

Time for me comes during naps, when dh is home to help out, & after she goes to bed in the evening. She generally has "Daddy time" from 6-8p each evening. That's my chance to finish up any stuff around the house, check e-mail, etc before I nurse her to sleep at 8.

It can get boring some days, but honestly, I think it's more boring for us than for our kids. Activities are nice, but my dd at least does best on a routine.

Holly

[velochic]

Dd was 3 in Feb. We play outside a lot - in our fenced-in back yard, playgrounds, and parks or forests (hiking the trails suddenly became a big hit around 2 years of age or so - we were living in Germany at the time and for some reason dd really took to hiking). We do actvities at the library (free) as well as just going there to play. They have toys in the children's room and dd likes to play there. And of course all the books are fun to explore. During the school year she goes to Play n Share (in Germany we attended a formal playgroup) once a week, which is the highlight of her life. We occasionally visit with friends. We go to the zoo a few times a month (membership) and the museums on rainy days. Some days we veg out, watch a movie, do puzzles, read books and stay in our pjs all day. I love to cook, and so does dd, so we often work on dinner throughout the day.

But we don't do anything formal like flashcards or anything. And we don't do formal playgroups anymore.

When dd was around 1 or 2 years old, we were already playing a lot outside, I took her to the zoo and museum and we did some library activities. But we have never had a strict routine and kind of let the day flow the way it flows. I'm not extremely social, and my mom lives with us, so I don't have the burning need to be involved with much other than LLL and have a few friends.

[lauraess]

Uhhhhmmmm.... well lets see... I sleep till about 9 then get up and feed the kiddos, throw em in some clothes, outside they go to play while i sit here in front of the MDC......DONTCHA KNOW?



:LOL I EAT BON BONS TOO....ALLLLLL DAY!

~L

[Dreaming]

MMmmmm bon bons!

lol

Well I started taking DD to the park. She really likes the swing and I like the fresh air.
I think the library, the museum and the zoo are great ideas. As she gets older there are a TON of places I can take her. I just need "safe" places because she is in that "eat everything" phase.

Some of you have mentioned your partner spending time with the kid(s). To be honest, I think this is part of my problem. I do over 90 percent of DD's care AND over 90 percent of the household chores. DH thinks it's enough to be the breadwinner unless I remember to tell him it's not *not* enough.

[Amys1st]

Well its time to post this story...

I get this email every once in a while

The man got home from work to see all the toys outside Bikes, bigwheels, other toys just spread out. He went inside his house to find the kitchen floor and eating area very sticky and foot prints all over. He looked under the table to find his toddler in a poopy diaper, smelly, crying and eating what was on the floor. He found his kids all over, the tv and music blaring and he tried not to trip on all the toys everywhere. The laundry was in the hamper overflown, the bed unkept, unmade. There were handprints of chocolate and Paint on the walls. Also a crayon mark that went all the way down the hall. Why was the water on in the bathroom? It was about to overflow. He got real nervous- where was his wife? What happend to her? Was she ok? He asks his cranky children where Mommy was- they smelled weird like they needed to be cleaned up- why were they still in their pjs?? He finally made his way to the MAster bedroom. The door was closed. He opened it to find his wife lying in bed in a dreamy state. He woke her. He said what on earth happened here???

She replied "You know how everyday when you come home you ask me
What in the world did you do today? Well today I decided not to do it."

[janerose]

Amy, what an awesome joke! I forwarded it onto all the Mom's I know. Thanks for the laugh.

Holly

[muttix2]

I've got a toddler and a baby. We don't really have a schedule or anything, just take it as it goes. But every day we read and play. Some days we go on walks, some we go on errands. Generally we only do errands one day a week (sometimes less if dh watches the kids on a day he's off so I can do errands quicker w/less hassle for the dc). When I was a new mom with my older ds I honestly had no idea what to do with him as I hadn't been around babies on a close basis since my sister was a baby. So, I bought books w/activities! :LOL I'm pretty sure I looked like a fool doing so but I really felt like I would go crazy if I spent one more hour (yes, hour!) playing "the Itsy Bitsy Spider". The activity books gave me great ideas of various activities. We plan to hs so I've been doing tons of research and I found a site I love letteroftheweek.com. I don't follow the stuff she says exactly (its a LOT of stuff to do) but its given me lots of good ideas. She has a "toddler curriculum" for the age your dc is now. But a lot of our time is just living, kwim? Ds "helps" unload the dishwasher, I bury him in the fresh load of clean, dry laundry while I'm folding, etc. The little things are what the kids love.