I'll admit, I'm scared to be a SAHM

[scheelimama]

I just don't know how good I'll be. I've been in grad school full time for the last two years and now I'll be graduating on Sunday. I was home both of the past two summers with my 2 y/o and it was wonderful! The first month of both summer were an adjustment (the first b/c it was my first month of motherhood, the second b/c we were out of the rhythm of being home together). And I've been so, so, looking forward to being home with my babies, but I've never really done it with two for more than a day or two at a time. I took 2 months of maternity leave (kinda) when my second was born, but I usually took my toddler to daycare so I could have time to bond with the baby and get schoolwork done. Anyway, I'm feeling really nervous and scared about this. I've struggled with PPD and I recently went off my meds b/c I was gaining way too much weight and I knew that would make me depressed. I haven't gone back to the dr to talk about alternatives, but I find myself getting really frustrated easily. I know I'm making the right decision to stay home with them, but sometimes I doubt if it will be best. My toddler loves her daycare and they do all kinds of activities with them. I'm just so scared I'm making a mistake.

[ekblad9]

Check out the PPD forum here for alternatives to meds though you may have to go back on your meds. Sometimes it's the only thing that really works.

Plan some fun activities for your children and you to do during the day. It's simple, really. Make playdough one day, water color paint another. Always have stacks of books laying around so you can read to your kids a ton. It's nice weather now so you can be outside, at parks, if you have the money join something like Gymboree to meet other moms or better yet go to your local LLL meeting. If you belong to a religious organization check there for mom's groups. Those will usually keep you busy. We also had tons of fun at children's museums when my kids were younger.

Good luck!

[chalupamom]

I think it's natural to be afraid of any life-changing transition - a new job, going to college, becoming an empty-nester... or becoming a SAHP.

The PP's suggestions were really good. Putting together a loose kind of, well, not schedule necessarily but a routine that feels good to all of you will help a lot. There a tons of good internet sites that offer cool activity ideas that are inexpensive or free, too, to help. (My favorite tip: keep a special box of activities that only comes out when you're at your wits end. The distraction value of toys or games that aren't available every day could buy you a bit of down time when you need it most. Be very disciplined about the box, though, don't be tempted on a garden-variety bad day, reserve it only for really tough spots when you're ready to run away and join the circus.)

Which brings me to my next point: there WILL be bad days. Terribly days. Awful what-am-I-doing-with-my-life days. Just like you had in school. Just like you had before they were born. That you dealt with PPD will complicate these times for you, but your awareness will go a long way in helping you cope. I've known a lot of moms who expected every day with their children to have flitting butterflies and dancing faeries and were gravely disappointed when a bad day snagged them unawares.

BUT. You will also have great days. When the sun shines and you spend an hour skipping in the park and you don't even realize that the hour has passed. These days are the ones that surprise me the most. I never imagined that my personality could expand to include this kind of stuff happily.

Basically, being at home isn't unlike doing anything else. It's never quite how you thought it would be but somehow you manage to make a go of it, you know? That you're entering this phase of your life mindfully and with great consideration says to me that you will do just fine. And so will your kids.

[scheelimama]

Thanks ladies for the tips and encouragement. I've already got two moms groups that I'm involved in that I first joined when dd1 was a baby. I've managed to stay somewhat involved throughout the past 2 yrs. I'm sure it'll all be fine, but it is scary. I think I'm going to go back into my dr. and see if there is anything else I can try for PPD that might not cause weight gain. That should help too.