Lila, congratulations on finding a wonderful and supportive midwife. I am thrilled for you, since it means that you can work together to meet your beliefs, needs, wishes and hopes for labour and birth!
the thread should be over now, but I am guessing that it will be read by others in the future.
There have been some great recommendations, the questions to ask a potential midwife are good and thorough, but I would like to add another aspect:
your gut feeling.
We met with several midwives before choosing. We ended up with a short-list of two. We couldn't really put our finger on it, but one of them just "felt" better. So we talked and talked about it, until we finally realized what it was:
we felt emotionally safe with the S, and with D we felt rationally empowered. S made a space in which we could cry even though we had only met a few minutes ago. D was thorough with all the info she gave us, with resources, etc...
Now dh and I are already bigly into reading, finding resources, more resources and then some, so we didn't need a mw to do that for us. We realized that what we needed, was someone who would keep the space for us to be emotional beings, not intellectual beings. S was very quick to realize that we were both already the researchers and info-squirrels, that we already had very liberated and clear ideas about birthing/labour/location... and she made sure that we were able to find a balance with our emotional needs.
S turned out to be a wonderful, skilled, intuitive and professional mw, but more than that, she helped me to regain my grounding, my central pillar, ... she let me express the emotions I was keeping inside, etc.
I'm not saying that you need a midwife to help you do that, but that the midwife you chose is going to help you find what you need, whether it is about emotional or intellectual or rational aspects.
Maartje
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