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Queer Mama's Roll Call

post #1 of 51
Thread Starter 
Let's see who is all with us! Maybe we could have an ongoing thread that we can update with day-to-day stuff? Like a tribe of sorts? Does this belong in Finding Your Tribe or what? I need mod assistance here! :LOL

But anyways... I am here. I'm a single mama to 2 kids. Recently just started dating women, had a pretty aweful dating expirience with the first girl I dated. But I've now met a really wonderful woman. I'm very, very sad because she is moving in 2 weeks and she had thought it was forever, but she is thinking about coming back here after the summer, depending on what happens with us.

I have a full time job at the co-op, I also own a successful babysling business. So I'm a busy, busy mama!

As far as NFL labels go, I'll try to throw some on me so that you can get an idea of who I am. I had 2 homebirths (go look in the home forums.. sustainable living maybe??? but I have a thread entitled *I lived off the grid for 4 years* and both my kids were born there). I breastfed, babywore, cloth diapered and all that good stuff. No vax's, we rarely even go to the DR for anything. We try to eat mainly good foods for us, but I've been known to make a trip to McD's :LOL We watch TV, but my kids would rather be playing outside *whew*.

Not sure what else, I'll maybe add more after I hear more about all you! And I'll try my best to keep up, but I get awefully busy with working two jobs and dating But hopefully this will help us to get to know each other better and keep QP active
post #2 of 51
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post #3 of 51
Add me to the "out" group lol!

I'm 24 years old, also a partnered lesbian with a 9 month old son. I stay at home, DP works for the clerk of courts and is also finishing up a degree. We are kind of "unintentional" NFL parents... we just did the things that felt "right". I carried our son and had as natural a birth as possible (had severe low fluid problems and they put me on pitocin to induce : ). I'm breastfeeding, cosleeping, cloth diapering, slinging most of the time although DS enjoys going for walks in the stroller, GDing.... you get the idea. :LOL

We live in an extremely conservative area and struggle with deciding what to do when DP is done with school... stuck with a choice to either to leave the family we have here or stay and keep our nuclear family in a situation that doesn't look like it is going to get any better in the future.
post #4 of 51


Happy to be a SMC (single mama by choice) to 17 mo T-Bone. I'm theoretically and historically queer, but dating anyone of any gender seems like a very very very abstract and hypoothetical idea. I have no time, energy, motivation, or prospects for that. Much of my community of friends is queer, however, and I'm very thankful for that.

Don't know what else to say. Nice to meet everyone!
post #5 of 51
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post #6 of 51
Great idea, wemoon!

Hi there! I'm new to this board as our little peanut is just 10 weeks old; I was on TTC a few months and then on the pregnancy board.

Let's see, what can I tell you? I'm legally married to my sweetie of six years (same sex marriage was legalized in our province last year), and we just had our first little baby, a boy whom we absolutely adore. I gave birth, fully naturally in a hospital with the support of my partner and a doula. It went really well, though I found it rather long and extremely painful. I pushed for over two hours. In hindsight, I realize that it wasn't just his giant head that was the problem, but my fear, too. I felt so out of control that I held back. Hard to explain.

Right now, I'm staying at home with the baby. Breastfeeding. I hope to be home for at least a year with him.

We have quite a few friends who have kids and are also actively involved with a great group of lesbian mothers.

OOPs-- peanut is waking up!

Will be back soon, I hope!

PS: I hate my sig, Ijust haven't had the chance to change it.
post #7 of 51
Hey there Mama's!
I am a single lesbian mama to 3 kids (5,7, and 9). I had been working with birthing women as a doula and CE, right now though I'm in massage therapy school, so I'm taking a break from that (the schedules just don't work!) and I work full time at my kid's school. I also work PT at a Vegetarian restaurant/feminst bookstore owned and operated by radical feminist lesbians from the good 'ol days.
Don't have much else this minute. Could be a fun thread Wemoon, I just hope my day to day doesn't bore the crap out of everyone! :LOL
post #8 of 51
Soon to be single lesbian mom here...well...not QUITE single, I am partnered with a women, pending a divorce from my DH of 10 years. I have two kids, 8 and 3 who know my partner and love her. We have a long distance relationship...not easy, but both of us have academic jobs...she's a tenured prof in Ohio and I'm tenure-track here in NYS. I'm looking for another job, hopefully closer to her but academic jobs aren't that easy to find.

BF and cloth diped both kids, along with slinging, etc. I cosleep when the kids want to now but my DH was never into it when we were married. Had almost completely natural births in hospitals...only a bit of pain meds to take the edge off.

Thought I was Bi for a long time but an unhappy marriage and a long nagging feeling that I dug women more than men pushed me to leave and address that I was probably more lesbian than bi. Well, that and meeting my current GF who made me realize I had more intimacy and love in a 6 month friendship with her than I did for the 20 years I knew my (soon-to-be) ex. Best decision I ever made! Its been a blissful 1+ year!

I'm not here often, but if anyone wants to chat, just PM me!
post #9 of 51
I am bi.. Married.. 6 years in July.. We have 3 boys.. We live in rural Iowa.. And.. I feel a bit invisible..
post #10 of 51
I'm Whit, homeschooling peace-loving momma to MArian (5), Leo (3), and Sophie (1.5). I've been separated form DX for 4 months and the divorce will be final in another month. I've identified as bi since my early teens, and after years of sexually dysfunctional relationships with men, and one week-long fling with a woman almost 10 years ago, I am now celibate. All my fantasies revolve around women and I can only picture myself dating women in the future. I like that the label "queer" covers a spectrum, because otherwise I'd have no idea what to call myself!
post #11 of 51
I'll take the plunge!


I'm here, I'm queer! I'm Susan, single mama to Maya, 2.5yrs. DH moved out a few weeks ago and our divorce in just getting started. We were married for 7 years, together for 10. He was my first boyfriend and although I've ALWAYS had feeling for women, I thought I was "just bi" and didn't really think it was a big deal and got married. Well, we separated a few yrs ago for a short while and I dated (ok slept with and obsessed over) another women. Holy cow!! What the hell have I been missing?! I liked it, but then my DH and I reconciled (ok I got pg) and moved back in together and that was the end of that. He was not at ALL supportive of my bisexuality.

Fast forward 3 yrs.... I've totally fallen for one of good friends. She's in a long term, albeit unhappy, relationship with her gf and WANTS to leave but isn't ready. She's admitted she's attracted to me too but doesn't want to cheat on her dp. I've really come to the realization that I'm just NOT attracted to men and am attracted to LOTS of women... There's so much more to it than that, but you get the point.

Now the question is... do I sit around and wait for my friend to leave her gf and continue dreaming about her? Or do I try to just be friends with her and meet other people? I think I already know the answer....

I've been lurking here for awhile. Nice to meet you all formally.
post #12 of 51
Get out...don't put all your eggs in one basket!! If its meant to be, she'll leave...let her know you like her but are not waiting, YK??!!

Welcome!!!
post #13 of 51
Hi all! I don't post here much, but I like to lurk. Dh and I are both bi, and exploring being poly as well, so um, yeah, we're pretty queer. I definitely lean more towards the lesbian side, but I met my soulmate and he happens to have a penis, so we got married. :LOL Right now, he's chatting with a co-worker of his, and feeling out whether or not it's relationship material (she's very out as both bi and poly, so he knew about her long before she guessed about him.) We do have a "friend with benefits" that we love dearly, but he lives several states away, so in person meetings are rare. I'm also kind of checking things out with a girl who used to work for us (one of ds's behavioral therapists). I really like her, but I'm not sure she's into the poly thing. We danced around the subject a bit last weekend and had what may or may not have been a date. LOL I'm waiting for her to call again.

I've been AP as long as I've been a mama, even before I knew there was a name for it. It just made sense to me to hold hte baby and sleep with the baby and hey, if my breasts make free food for the baby, why not utilize it? NFL is fairly new to me, but I'm working on it. There's homeopathics next to the OTC drugs in the medicine cabinet, and we're phasing out chemical cleaners both for the house and ourselves. It's too late to not vax the kids, but I'll definitely be having Aidan's titers checked rather than just blindly getting his "kindergarten shots" just because we're "supposed to"
post #14 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by DejaSu

Now the question is... do I sit around and wait for my friend to leave her gf and continue dreaming about her? Or do I try to just be friends with her and meet other people? I think I already know the answer....
Well, Susan, since you're asking...

Prior to having settled down, I had a very busy and lengthy lesbian dating life. Not much I didn't see or experience myself in the way of dating drama! My advice would be to move on to other peope. You can of course continue to dream about her, and it may eventually work out. But in the mean time, why not play the field a little? See, this is what I did in a similar situation, years and years ago. Months after I confessed my feelings for her, the object of my affection eventually did tell me she had feelings for me too; by then, I was dating other women. We had a small tryst, but when it became clear that she had no intentions of leaving her partner, we ended it and I was heartbroken.

Good luck!
post #15 of 51

One single, celibate, slightly confused...but definantly queer mama Checking in!
post #16 of 51
I'm here...
post #17 of 51
My partner and I am have a wonderful 1.5 year old boy. We have a known donor / friend who is also gay and a part of our lives. My dp and I have legal custody. We have a multicultural/ multi racial queer family. We are both African American and his dad is Irish and Chilean.

We bf , co sleep and I just started doing my own diapers. We didn't plan to co - sleep this long ( my dp wanted him his own bed at 9 months) but I instisted on him sleeping with us for at least a year and now he is most comfortable with at least one of us in the bed and won't sleep in his crib. He is so sweet to sleep with and we still nurse at night so this is fine with me.

I just quit my outside job so I am lucky enough to WAH and stay at home with him.
what else.. I had him at home and dp caught him ( midwife was supporting from the sidelines)

Most of the queer momma's I know have older kiddos .. so most of my friends with toddlers are cool straight girls. I feel really seperated from the larger lesbian community because I do different things since I had a baby. No more late nights in the clubs or endless extensive volunteering for community activities. Different things are important to me now but I would not change it for the world.
Also we are vegatarians and thinking about becoming Quakers
Glad to meet all you awesome women!
post #18 of 51
Just checking into the roll call.......
post #19 of 51
Another Susan, here...

I live in Portland - 'married' to most wonderful woman ever (unofficial ceremony back in '02; then what we thought was an 'official' ceremony in '04 until the courts overturned it. Damn it all to heck - I still consider us married, life partnered, whatever you wanna call it).

Dearest 7 month old named Kennedy and 23 year old daughter living in San Antonio. We also 'fell into' NFL. We wear Kennedy everywhere (even our burly male nanny is a convert!) and co-sleep, etc. I won't list all those things we *don't* do for fear of the AP police, ha ha.

I lurk here sometimes but only make it around to this neck of the woods about every other week. (Free time, what's that?!?)
post #20 of 51
Thanks for the words of wisdom. I know I should play the field and not expect my friend to leave her partner. If things change someday, I'd love it, but I can't make things change...KWIM?

Sounds like a lot of awesome moms here!

Lotusdebi~ I know how hard it is when you're married and want to make it work, but your desires are elsewhere....Have you had girlfriends before or are you new to this??

I just would love to meet other queer moms in my area. I feel like there are older, attached lesbians and college, cool lesbians without kids. I'm somewhere inbetween....
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