(without it getting heated, please, I really have questions and I'd like to talk about them)
This is the thing.. I was talking to a friend the other day, she is from South America (as most of you know, me too) and she has a 2 month old baby. We were at a christening together for a friend's baby (we have that friend in common) and she was asking me all these questions about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, cosleeping, etc.. and I felt that she found comfort in a lot of the things that I told her. She even told my husband and her husband (we shared a table) that I was such a "perfect mom" (yes, I said please, I feel like the worst mom in the world most days lost in my unshowered mind, sleepless body and tons of laundry) SOOOO.. I don't know how she started talking about carseats and how she doesn't ler her baby cry in the carseat while she is in the car but she also doesn't stop the car when baby is hungry. She will sit in the back of her SUV and nurse her baby, while her dh drives. I said...
"ME TOO". (yes, this is the part where your blood pressure will rise, right?)
well, I don't do this now, because my son no longer needs to nurse every hour. But dh and I did this many, many times when ds was under a year. countless times. never in the front seat, always in the back. but we did it. I admit it. so... we started talking about how the only people that WE know that do this, are not from here (from the US) and that it's like a dirty little secret because if you DARE tell anyone here they will automatically think that you're a bad, irresponsible mother.
My question is.. where does this come from? Was there some kind of a campaign in the US to encourage the use of carseats, that it made it so deep in the minds of people that "carseat=good parent, no carseat=bad parent"? I mean, I agree that carseats are SUPER important, but if I had to put that in a scale and compare it to breastfeeding (since THAT is such a choice here) I'd say carseats are less important than breastfeeding, because carseats only save you IF you have an accident. Not breastfeeding is damage one can't repair. And I wonder why not breastfeeding is not at all a reason to judge a mother and think of her as an irresponsible person.
so... this is what my girlfriend and I discussed. I am curious now as to what all of you have to say. My biggest question here is WHAT made people feel so strongly about carseats?
Just for the record, in Chile carseats are not mandatory or required by law (not many people own cars, btw) and I never had one when I was a baby OR when my own daughter was a baby (we lived in Chile until she was 15 months) and it's not an education thing because we were a highly educated family and still didn't think much of not having a carseat. (I do now, though, and both my children have carseats and are always buckled in.. but I don't regret nursing my son in the back seat when he was smaller and couldn't wait)
ok. I guess I'm done. Going to hit the "post" button now. Please remember I'm genuinly curious and don't want to start a big ugly fight. peace and love to everyone!!!
This is the thing.. I was talking to a friend the other day, she is from South America (as most of you know, me too) and she has a 2 month old baby. We were at a christening together for a friend's baby (we have that friend in common) and she was asking me all these questions about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, cosleeping, etc.. and I felt that she found comfort in a lot of the things that I told her. She even told my husband and her husband (we shared a table) that I was such a "perfect mom" (yes, I said please, I feel like the worst mom in the world most days lost in my unshowered mind, sleepless body and tons of laundry) SOOOO.. I don't know how she started talking about carseats and how she doesn't ler her baby cry in the carseat while she is in the car but she also doesn't stop the car when baby is hungry. She will sit in the back of her SUV and nurse her baby, while her dh drives. I said...
"ME TOO". (yes, this is the part where your blood pressure will rise, right?)
well, I don't do this now, because my son no longer needs to nurse every hour. But dh and I did this many, many times when ds was under a year. countless times. never in the front seat, always in the back. but we did it. I admit it. so... we started talking about how the only people that WE know that do this, are not from here (from the US) and that it's like a dirty little secret because if you DARE tell anyone here they will automatically think that you're a bad, irresponsible mother.
My question is.. where does this come from? Was there some kind of a campaign in the US to encourage the use of carseats, that it made it so deep in the minds of people that "carseat=good parent, no carseat=bad parent"? I mean, I agree that carseats are SUPER important, but if I had to put that in a scale and compare it to breastfeeding (since THAT is such a choice here) I'd say carseats are less important than breastfeeding, because carseats only save you IF you have an accident. Not breastfeeding is damage one can't repair. And I wonder why not breastfeeding is not at all a reason to judge a mother and think of her as an irresponsible person.
so... this is what my girlfriend and I discussed. I am curious now as to what all of you have to say. My biggest question here is WHAT made people feel so strongly about carseats?
Just for the record, in Chile carseats are not mandatory or required by law (not many people own cars, btw) and I never had one when I was a baby OR when my own daughter was a baby (we lived in Chile until she was 15 months) and it's not an education thing because we were a highly educated family and still didn't think much of not having a carseat. (I do now, though, and both my children have carseats and are always buckled in.. but I don't regret nursing my son in the back seat when he was smaller and couldn't wait)
ok. I guess I'm done. Going to hit the "post" button now. Please remember I'm genuinly curious and don't want to start a big ugly fight. peace and love to everyone!!!
: What a relief to say that....
:
I am sorry about your loss.
Follow Mothering