Who have you told? - Page 2

[Raisingarrows]

DH knows and a few friends I can trust to keep a secret, but I didn't want the word getting out until we'd told the grandparents. I'm a little nervous about telling my mom (I can handle everyone else! ). She's liable to hit the roof b/c this will #4 and Baby Lia will only be 16 mons when this one is born. But hey, she already thinks we're nuts, so I guess this will just seal it for her! Everyone has been really supportive and happy for us, so hopefully, I can exude happiness and she'll refrain from saying something rude.
AmyR

[gethane]

Boy do I understand apprehension about telling your mom . When I was pregnant with my 3rd long long ago, I was so afraid of telling her I waited until I was 13 weeks and wrote her a letter!

Even with a new dh, and with everyone expectation that we might choose to have a child of our own, I still "just" emailed my mom. She spent the next 8 months telling me how weird I was, how only 10% of people have 4 or more children, etc.

I have no idea how to bring this one up. I love my mom, and we get along pretty great. But I'm an only child by her choice, and she just doesn't like or get babies. She's a GREAT grandma to school age children, in fact, every summer she takes the three oldest on a trip to a state park in a cabin for a few days, but she doesn't see the value of popping out babies like I seem to.

You'd think at 36, almost 37, I would really internalize my mantra of "I don't care what everyone else thinks.".. well I don't.. unless its my mom

*wave at a kansan from up north in nebraska*

[Raisingarrows]

My mom loves children and had 4 of her own, but she always says, "We didn't have birth control back then!" I also get pretty sick w/ my babies and I think she thinks I'm killing myself. And lastly, everything is about money w/ her--she assumes we're burdening ourselves financially w/ all these kids and she wants better for us--even though we're just fine (well, most of the time )

We'll probably tell her this weekend when we go visit. Hopefully, I'm worried all for nothing.

AmyR

[Persephone]

We told the MIL today. I wasn't too worried about telling my side of the family, or my friends. I knew they'd all be happy for me. But dh's side of the family has just BARELY started to accept the fact that I'm married to dh, for good. (It's our one year anniversary next week). And MIL seems to think we're going to end up on welfare cause I don't work and dh doesn't make all that much. (Thankfully we know how to manage our money, and aren't even CLOSE to going on welfare *rolleyes*) But she said today how scared she is that we're pregnant. And she's like, "Oh, you're going to have to move!" And I told her our one bedroom is fine for the two of us and an infant. (We just moved here 6 months ago, and I was looking forward when we rented this place to having a child in the next year or so. Didn't know it would happen so fast! ) But she's like, "Oh no, you'll want another bedroom for the baby, you won't want him in bed with you. You won't last 3 weeks that way." And I just kind of nodded while thinking, "lady, you don't know what you're saying." I know our parenting ideas are going to clash. But she breastfed dh for 3 months, and cloth diapered him for... 3 weeks I think she said? So, we'll see. Maybe she'll be open to stuff after all. At least she'll see after the baby is here that my ideas aren't so crazy, and I do know a thing or two about babies.

Now we've got to tell dh's dad and that side of the family. FIL and I DON'T get along. So, that's the worst one of all, and I'm not really looking forward to it.

[gabry]

Until today (almost 8 weeks), we'd only told our parents and siblings, and our boss (cause we had to schedule a day off for ob visit). Today we had a staff meeting at work, and I told everyone we work with then. They were all excited and happy for us, and one of the nurses felt totally vindicated, because she told me a few weeks ago to go pee in a cup cause I looked different (I was able to deflect it then). Somehow it feels more real now that we've told more people, weird...

[ahuva]

I can really relate to being nervous about telling my mother. I think our mothers tend to have high expectations for their daughters of some kind or another. With me, my mom thought i got married and had a baby too young, without enough of a career first. But this time I took a deep breath and told her first, and her response was pretty positive. I made a point of telling her first and early (i'm 6 weeks) so she would feel special and included. Now we're just waiting for the right opportunity to tell DH's parents and our siblings. That's it for a while, until I'm further along.

[Wugmama]

I've told so many people! : We waited until 8 weeks to start telling people with the first one. This time, the pregnancy just didn't seem real, so I think I wanted to start telling people so that it would seem more real to ME! I told a friend over the phone about 2 minutes after I got my results, then told my husband! We told my parents and sister that same day. I've been telling one person per day since then, kind of spreading it out and trying to enjoy the telling. It will be hard if something happens to the baby, but it would have been hard anyways.

[Getz]

We have told actually several people. My sister, his brother, a few of my friends and a small handful of co-workers.

We won't tell our parents or extended families till I am at least 10 weeks.

[fiandaca]

My partner and I will likely wait another 3 weeks until after I have my first prenatal appointment. Last time, we told his parents, sister, and two of our good friends about 10 days after we found out. Later, we told a lot of other people, but not everybody who was important to us. I ended up miscarrying at almost 8 weeks real/10 weeks obstr. It wasn't that hard to tell people I had miscaried. What was hard was feeling like I wanted to tell people that I had never had a chance to tell that I was pregnant.

I think we'll keep it to ourselves a little longer to get used to the idea and see how the first app't goes. I'm a little worried that some people will be too fearful to be happy, esp. since it only took us three months to conceive again after the mc.

As for my mom, I don't know when I'll tell her. We are not close and do not share the same values or ideas about how to do things. All I foresee upon telling her is arguing about things like why I want to do a homebirth, etc.

[deb_b]

I'm at 8 weeks and we've told most of our friends, my brother and SIL, and a few key people at work (so they'd know why I was slacking off and extremely grumpy).

We haven't told either set of parents yet. I have way more misgivings about telling them because they'd be so devistated if something happened. This is my third pregnancy since Christmas (the first two ended very early - within a few days of finding out) and hardly anyone knew about those. But those that did know were very cool about it, weren't overly saddened (they know better than to coddle me, I don't take it very well), and were pretty realitic about the whole thing.

Also, I know that the instant I tell my mother, she'll go on a marathon shopping spree and the kid will have everything it will need through high school. Seriously, I'll have the only newborn with a Trapper Keeper notebook and a shiny new 10-speed bike. I'm going to have to be very firm about it and am not looking forward to putting my foot down.

We're having a Father's Day BBQ to tell all the parental units.