Hi, mamas. I subscribed to the thread and wanted to add my story if y'all don't mind.
My pregnancy was 100% textbook until 27wk6days when I went in to PTL for no apparent reason. I started having intense contractions while I was at work, and called my OB just in case. I was told to go home and lay down, drink water, see if they stopped. Then the doctor called back when I was about half way home and asked how quickly I could get to the office. He had reconsidered everything the nurse relayed to him, and wanted to check me just to be sure. I went in and was found to be 2cm dialated and 50% effaced. Not what I wanted to hear! I was taken to the hospital by one of the midwives and started on magnesium. I was then transported to another hospital 90 miles away because our local hosp. can't handle babies younger than 32wks gestation. Once at the second hospital, I was sent to bed still on the magnesium for about 48 hours. My labor finally stopped for good, and after four days I was sent home on strict bedrest. The following Thursday (one week after discharge) I had a regularly scheduled OB appointment, and was found to have dialated another centimeter, and my membranes were ballooning. I was again put on the magnesium, and this time I was helicoptered to the second hospital. This time, they planned to keep me in the hospital until I delivered. This was April 13...I was due June 27. Not my idea of a good time. On the 18th, my labor started again hard and fast, and I was put on magnesium for a third and final time and rushed down to L&D, just in case. My labor started around 5pm, and at 11am Wednesday, they realized I had progressed another 2cm (now 5) and my labor wasn't stopping. They turned off the magnesium at about 11:30am, and told me I would have my baby later that day. Since I was 30wks, and had received the steroids for her lungs, they weren't overly concerned. After 14 hours, I asked for something for the pain so that I could try and get some sleep, as I hadn't anticipated being in labor for that long, and didn't get sleep when things were "easy." I was given 1mg of Stadol, which was absolutely fantastic, but wore off after about 20 minutes. 2 hours later, one of the doctors came in to check me and found out I was completely effaced and dialated. My water still hadn't broken, however, so she said she was going to break my water and come back in about 10 minutes to check on me. She broke my water, turned around to put the instrument down, and when she turned back around, she yelled "HEAD!" and the birthing team came rushing in. I pushed twice and my baby girl came flying out. It took both doctors to catch her. She cried immediately, and was rushed out of the room to be checked. She was 3lb, 5oz, 17" long, and her Apgar scores were 9/9.
My DH followed her out of the room and was with her the entire time she was being cleaned up and transported. He got to follow her to the NICU and make sure she got settled in while they got me cleaned up. I didn't get to touch my baby until 8 hours later when I felt strong enough to go down to the NICU and see her. I ended up with a first degree tear and two stitches, I think because the docs told me not to push, so I tried not to, but my body was pushing anyway.
Samantha was in the NICU for 8 days, and the satellite nursery (feed 'em and grow 'em) for 19 days. The only thing keeping her in the hospital was her inability to eat. I too was told that I was not allowed to pump in the nursery, and that if I "insisted" on trying to breastfeed, I really had to cover myself with the screen so as to not "offend anyone." There were 2 LCs for the entire hospital, and about 200 babies at any given time. We got no assistance or encouragement, and I was told that things would be easier once we got home. That's a load of crap. She has never nursed, and I've been pumping every 2-3 hours for 45 days. She is too small to latch, and I have large, flat nipples, plus I basically have no idea what I'm doing. At least my milk came back and I can give her the milk she needs instead of that revolting formula (couldn't they make it smell even remotely pleasant?) which she hates.
A heart murmur was detected and she was found to have a VSD (ventricular septal defect) and a PFO (patent foramen ovale), both of which should resolve on their own. In addition, she inherited a kidney disorder from me. Her ureter didn't implant correctly, so she has kidney reflux. There is a 50/50 chance it will resolve on its own, and if not, the surgery to correct it is much less invasive than it used to be. She came home on Amoxicillan, Cafcit, and a heart monitor, which we have since stopped using. The docs still want her on the monitor, but she hasn't had an episode in a week and a half, and she hates the damn thing so much that she pulls the leads off her chest every time we put them on. Plus, she doesn't sleep very well when the leads are on, and since she's still supposed to be "cooking" she needs all the sleep she can get in order to get bigger.
I'm bitter, and angry, and feel incredibly cheated. My DH doesn't understand, because we have a beautiful, healthy albeit small baby girl. I'm glad he can be optimistic, but it's hard for me to. Yes, I am lucky that she is mostly healthy, but I missed an entire third of my pregnancy. I was just starting to be noticeably pregnant to strangers, and I loved feeling her move around. I loved my belly. I loved planning everything I would do with her birth. I wanted a homebirth, and imagined being able to pull her up on to my chest and nurse immediately after birth. I missed ALL of that, and still can't feed my child the "right" way. I'm tired of the dirty looks strangers give me when I give her a bottle, never mind that said bottle is full of breastmilk. It's infuriating, and devastating, and makes me feel like I've totally failed at this parenting thing already, and she's only 6 weeks old!!
Sorry, mamas. I know all of you have been through this as well, so it's not fair for me to gripe so much! I've just got a lot of unresolved anger towards the entire situation, I guess.
I have parents in town, so it would be totally doable for me to do bedrest/NICU time and have the kids still watched by family, but DH doesn't want to deal with that stress.
Anyway, her take on things was that the months of bedrest are such a small sacrifice for the long life ahead of her children, so it's worth doing. When you think of it that way, I guess it makes it a more positive thing, ya know?
), she has a little boy they call Vite, I know his real first name but not how to spell it and don't want to butcher it trying 
Silly me... I thought she was mine already?)
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